


An Angels Guide To Parenting Winchesters

by MightyMidget



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angel Castiel, Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Baking, Big Brother Dean, Big Brother Gabriel, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Child Dean, Child Sam, Childhood, Daddy Castiel, De-Aged Dean Winchester, De-Aged Sam Winchester, Discipline, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Eventual Relationships, Family, Family Dinners, Family Feels, First Crush, Fluff and Crack, Gabriel in the Bunker, Gabriel's Home, Gabriel's dog, Gabriel/Sam Winchester First Kiss, Games, Hormones, Implied Mastubation, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Monopoly (Board Game), Morning Wood, Movie Night, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prankster Gabriel, Protective Castiel, Protective Gabriel, Storytelling, Swimming, Team Free Will, Teenage Drama, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Uncle Gabriel, Walks In The Park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 12:46:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 56,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5005315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyMidget/pseuds/MightyMidget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a play fight in the Bunkers Archives dislodges an old bottle filled with a mysterious substance which causes Sam and Dean to Age Regress, Castiel and Gabriel step in to care for the Winchester children until a cure can be found, but along the way the family realises this might be the best thing that has ever happened to them. Nothing heals a broken family better than a family vacation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brotherly Bonding Can Be Murder

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aphrodite_AlwaysAndForever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aphrodite_AlwaysAndForever/gifts).



> Thank you mightily to my reader Aphrodite_AlwaysAndForever for this prompt! She wanted some de-aged Winchester fluff, and I think the Fandom is in desperate need of it right now. Enjoy!
> 
> xx MightyMidget xx

Now that the matters of Heaven, Hell and everything in between had simmered down after the return of God and the Archangels, Sam and Dean were taking some well deserved time off, which meant that Sam finally had time to do what he had always wanted to do...Organise the Bunker's Archives, and much to Dean's dismay he had made it a "Brotherly Bonding Activity".  
  
"Oh come on, Dean, think of all the cool crap we could find down here! Old Scrolls, Sigils..." Sam said as he started pulling boxes of old files around to the main table, where a pouting Dean was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest like a four year old. "A spell to get that stick out of your ass..." The younger Winchester muttered under his breath as he turned his back on his Brother, only to yelp when a small paperback pocketbook hit him in the back of the head, thrown by a sour faced Dean. "What did you do that for?!" Sam yelled but Dean just shrugged at him.  
  
"What, I didn't do anything..." Dean said but the smirk on his face told Sam otherwise and the resulting Bitchface was epic, but as Sam reached down to retrieve the small book which his idiot Brother had thrown at him he stopped suddenly, a little stunned by the title.  
  
 _"The Standard Book Of Spells: Grade 1"_ The title read in sleek red letters and Sam gingerly picked it up with trembling hands, missing his Brothers curious questions as he ran his fingers over the cover. There was just no way...  
  
"SAM?!" Dean barked, finally catching his Brothers attention. "You gonna tell me whats got you all wide eyed?" The Hunter asked, gesturing to the book in Sam's hands, and Sam stared down at it once again before starting to laugh out loud. He couldn't even find the words to explain so instead he handed to book to Dean, allowing his Brother to turn it over in his hands and read the cover, a small grin slowly spreading on his face. "No freakin' way...this...nah it can't be, can it?!" Dean laughed, and Sam finally found enough breath in his lungs to talk.  
  
"You really think it was her?" Sam asked as Dean opened the front cover and scanned the first page, his grin only growing larger when he found the authors name.  
  
"Nah...not her...him." Dean said, handing the book back to a confused Sam who read the name with a confused look.  
  
"P.J... _Rowling_?!" Sam said, looking up at Dean with confusion. "Her Father? Grandfather?" The Hunter asked and Dean shrugged.  
  
"Couldn't be, probably a lot older than that, but come on how cool is this?!" Dean said, practically bouncing on his heels with excitement and Sam had to resist the urge to shout 'I told you so', and tease his Brother for acting like a nerd. "Damn man, where's Charlie when you need her right, she'd fangirl like crazy over this!" Sam raised an eyebrow at his Brother and slowly started to smirk.  
  
"Yeah, you're right there...so tell me, if she's a 'fangirl'...what does that make you?" Sam asked, positively beaming when Dean turned an unamused glare on him.  
  
"Sam..." Dean growled softly in warning but his little Brother was slowly backing away with an annoying grin plastered all over his face.  
  
"That couldn't possibly make you..." Sam said, rapidly backing up away from Dean as the Elder Winchester advanced on him.  
  
"I'm warning you Sam..."  
  
"A..."  
  
"Don't say it!"  
  
"Fanboy!"  
  
"SON OF A BITCH!" Sam heard his Brother yell but he was turned around and running before he could see the rage on Dean's face, his laughter bubbling out of him as he ducked and dived between shelves, narrowly avoiding Dean who was hot on his heels. "You better run you little...when I get a hold of you I swear to Cas you're dead!"  
  
"You'll never take me alive!" Sam yelled playfully, vaulting over a crate at the end of an aisle and skidding around the corner, only running for a few more feet before he hit a dead end filled with boxes and jars on shelves. He knew Dean had slowed up at the crates but he was still right behind him and it was only a moment before the elder Winchester came into view, catching the cornered Sam in his sights. "Now Dean...you don't wanna do something you'll regret..." Sam said, backing up as far as he could and keeping his eyes trained on his slowly advancing Brother, who was smirking at him evilly.  
  
"Oh I wouldn't worry about that Sammy...There is nothing I am about to do that I will regret, trust me..." Dean said and with that he lunged forward, pouncing on his little Brother and knocking him into the shelf behind him. As the pair wrestled playfully, pushing and pulling one another until they wound up rolling around on the floor, several of the jars started to tremble and topple from their places on the shelves until one small blue jar that was positioned high on the top tier was knocked out of place and came crashing to the floor, smashing to pieces between the boys. An explosion of white light blasted out of the jar as soon as it smashed open, engulfing them both and blinding them for a moment, and when it started to clear again there was a ringing in their ears which left them both deaf to the cries of the other. Each had been knocked aside and away from the other by a shockwave that came with the light, and when the effect finally started to wear off Sam blinked rapidly to clear his vision...although the sight he was met with was too unimaginable, and it took him several minutes of rubbing his eyes before he realised this was not some crazy illusion.  
  
"Sammy..." Dean said, but he clapped a hand over his mouth when his voice, deep and manlike at first, suddenly cracked and became high pitched like that of a child. The Elder Hunter blushed a little when he heard his Brother laughing, and the thought came to him that he hadn't sounded like that since he was a teenager...but then again the boyish giggles that where coming from Sam hadn't been heard since he was a kid...what the Hell was going on.  
  
When Dean looked up at Sam he had to bite on his tongue to keep from screaming in shock, and it was a long time before he could even process what it was he was seeing. His younger Brother - and he did mean _younger_ brother - was sitting across from him and he was a far cry from the huge and lanky Sasquatch that had been there only moments before. The kid was tiny, like eight or nine, drenched in his clothes which looked like a giants compared to his small frame, and Dean felt himself shaking all over as he slowly lifted his hands up in front of his face. It was just as he feared...he was smaller to, his hands almost half the size they had been and remarkably smooth, all the scars he had from years of Hunting and hard work where gone...he was a kid again.  
  
Dean sat staring at his hands for the longest time, his thoughts running at a million miles an hour, but when Sam broke the silence it all became too much for him.  
  
"Dee..." The boys timid voice floated across the room, and suddenly everything was too close. Dean felt his chest tighten and his vision blur, and ever little noise around him sounded like thunder in his ears. He knew Sammy was talking to him but he couldn't make out what he was saying, and the kid was crowding him so much that he felt like lashing out but he couldn't get enough strength in his arms to push him away...The last thing Dean saw through his blurred vision was a flash of white light and a pair of stunning blue eyes, then everything went black.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
"Is he gonna be alright Cas?" Sam sniffed, the boys tears barely controlled as he sat beside his unconscious Brother, and Castiel placed a hand on his shoulder the way he had seen Humans do to comfort one another and smiled.  
  
"He will be fine Sam, I promise you, I would never allow anything to happen to him." Castiel reassured the trembling boy, but when Sam looked up at him he was pouting.  
  
"This happened to him..." Sam said, crossing his arm over his chest and Castiel frown.  
  
"Yes it did, but I was not aware of it at the time...I can only help if I am here with you, Sam." Castiel explained, trying to be as gentle with the boy as possible considering the massive shock both he and his Brother had just received. Sam took a moment to think about it before his hand shot out to grip Castiel's sleeve, his eyes wide and filling with tears again.  
  
"Then don't leave okay, just don't leave again and he will be okay right?" Sam asked and Castiel opened his mouth to answer but just as he did Dean groaned from the bed where Castiel had laid him down and slowly began to open his eyes. Both Sam and Castiel leant over him and the Angel placed a hand on his forehead to check him over, analysing everything from his heart rate, to his breathing and all the way down to his blow flow. The boy seemed to be in perfect health, and the Angel smiled at him as he pushed his hair back out of his face - hair which was soft and a little shaggier now that he was a teenager again. Dean took a moment staring up at his Brother and his Angel, trying to make sense of why he was tucked up in bed with a baby Sammy and a smiling Angel staring down at him but as the memories of the Archives came flooding back to him he tried to sit up too fast, only to be pushed back down by Castiel.  
  
"What the Hell happened to me!?" Dean yelled, struggling against the Angel's inhuman grip which had been hard to break as an adult, and was damn near impossible to break now that he was...  
  
"Dean you have to calm down, you are in no danger..." Castiel tried to soothe the frightened Hunter but the boy was having none of it.  
  
"I will NOT CALM DOWN! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!" Dean started to scream and Castiel was forced to pin him down with his Grace to stop him from hurting himself in the struggle. Sam had started to cry again and was backing up slowly against the wall, his hands over his ears.  
  
"Dean please stop shouting, Cas is here to help he promised!" Sam yelled but Dean barely heard his baby Brother over the blood pounding in his ears, and he felt close to passing out again when Castiel's face suddenly loomed over his own, hard eyes holding him in place as he spoke in a calm but firm voice.  
  
"Dean Winchester!" Castiel said, his tone firm and leaving no room for argument. "I understand that you are upset but if you continue to fight me in this way you will only succeed in hurting yourself, now please calm yourself!" The Angel kept him held down but his touch became gentle when tears started to fill Dean's eyes. "You are safe, Dean, I swear to you. I understand this is a shock but you are safe with me..." And with those words Dean collapsed back on the bed, crying softly to himself as Castiel stroked his hair, hushing him gently. As things quieted down, Sam snuck forward and - with an approving nod from Castiel - crawled up next to his Brother and lay down at his side.  
  
"Don't cry, Dee...Cas is gonna look after us..." Sam said, cuddling up next to Dean who reached out to put an arm around his baby Brother, eyes fixed on Castiel.  
  
"What happened Cas?" Dean finally managed to ask, choked up with tears, and the Angel reached out to swipe away the dampness on his cheeks with his thumb, smiling when Dean unconsciously leaned into his touch.  
  
"I don't know, Dean, but I swear I will find out and when I do we will fix this. I'll do whatever it takes."  
  
"You might regret that promise..." A familiar and unwelcome voice sounded from the doorway, and all three of the men whipped around to find Gabriel - mischievous grin and lollypop in place - standing there staring at them like they were the hottest show in town. Sam stared over his Brother with wide-eyed curiosity, and Castiel frowned in confusion at the presence of the Archangel, but Dean sat up with a growl, glaring daggers at the Trickster.  
  
"I might have known it was you!"


	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel shows that he really is a good Brother by stepping up and having Castiel's back when it comes to looking out for the boys...

Dean reacted instinctively, grabbing for the knife which was always hidden securely under his pillow but as he pulled it out and made to dive out of bed towards the Archangel, Castiel's iron grip wrapped around his wrist, yanking him back and knocking the knife from his grip.  
  
"Dean Winchester!" Castiel yelled, a little shocked by Dean's reaction but Gabriel just laughed as the boy struggled against the Angel, watching the scene play out with a smirk on his face.  
  
"I should have known this was some kind of prank! It had your stink all over it from the start! Let me go, Cas! I'm gonna gank his ass once and for all!" Dean yelled but Castiel finally snapped and forced Dean back down onto the bed, sending a glare towards Gabriel before turning back to the stunned boy in his grip.  
  
"Do not ever pull a knife out like that again, Dean! You could have hurt yourself, or Sam!" Castiel scolded the boy, and a chuckle from Gabriel had the Angel growling.  
  
"Better listen to your Daddy, Dean! You wouldn't wanna cut your wittle finger now would you?" Gabriel joked in a baby voice which made Dean's face turn red with embarrassment, but before Castiel could yell at his Brother to leave the boy alone, Sam leapt up from the bed and stormed over to the Archangel, putting them face to face.  
  
"Hey! Shut up!" The young boy barked, staring up at Gabriel with fiery eyes and a determined glare that Castiel had to admire - there were not many who would dare challenge the might of the Archangel, let alone an eight year old boy, but once again Sam Winchester proved to be more than meets the eye. Gabriel eyed the young Winchester for a moment before putting his hands in the air, a gesture of submission.  
  
"Alright there, Squirt, don't get all pissy...no harm done." Gabriel said, smiling over at Dean whom Castiel had allowed to sit up once again.  
  
"Yeah not to me, you dick! What did you do this time?!" Dean yelled and Castiel reached over to swat at the boys leg, a light smack that stunned everyone in the room.  
  
"Dean, do not swear!" Castiel snapped and Dean turned on him, a little shocked that the Angel had actually hit him.  
  
"Dude...You can't tell me what to do!" Dean snapped but the intense stare of Castiel had him averting his eyes after only a moment. Castiel gave the boy time to time consider what he had said before speaking, slowly and clearly so he was not misunderstood.  
  
"I am much older than you Dean, and like it or not I am your guardian...more so now than ever considering that you are now a child and in need of adult supervision. You will not swear, you will not play with knifes and most of all you will do what I say...Do you understand me, Dean Winchester?" Castiel asked, and he watched with a sense of pride as Dean nodded, silent and brooding but accepting of Castiel's words. "Thank you, Dean. Now you will remain here while I have a word with my Brother...privately." The Angel turned his hard gaze on Gabriel, motioning for the Archangel to follow him out into the hallway. Once outside and away from the boys, Castiel turned on Gabriel, pointing towards the bedroom where Sam and Dean were waiting. "Did you do this?" Castiel asked, snapping the question at Gabriel with as much venom as he could muster, but his voice was hushed so as not to upset the boys in the next room. Gabriel feigned a hurt look and placed a hand over his heart.  
  
"I would never!" Gabriel gasped but when Castiel raised an eyebrow at him without so much as a hint of a smile, Gabriel dropped the act and leant back against the wall with his hands in his pockets. "No, okay I didn't do anything to them." The Archangel confessed, locking eyes with his Brother and looking sincere for the first time since he had reappeared in their lives.  
  
"Then why, may I ask, are you here?" Castiel asked in a clipped voice which seemed to actually wound the Archangel, but he quickly covered his hurt expression with a grin.  
  
"Well you see, Cassie, I was upstairs minding my own business when I felt a disturbance in the force and I thought to myself 'what kind of idiots can cause so much crap that even Heaven feels it' and I answered myself 'why...the Winchesters of course!', so I just hot-footed it down here to check on my two favourite knuckleheads only to find them a little shorter than last time I saw them...Then before I know whats happening a pint-sized Dean Winchester is trying to carve my ass up with a knife bigger than his arm and my Brother is playing Daddy to the little brats, and not even in the kinky way!" Gabriel finally finished his mini rant and smirked at his Brother who was now leaning against the wall across from him, pinching the bridge of his nose - very human gesture that he had picked up from Dean.  
  
"What am I gonna do Gabriel?" Castiel asked, finally breaking down as the realness of the situation washed over him. "I don't know the first thing about children! I can't care for them I don't even know where to begin, what should I feed them and when...is Ketchup really a vegetable because they said it was but I think they are lying!" The younger Angel was starting to panic and Gabriel could sense that the boys were starting to become restless and curious about the conversation between the two Angels so he reached out and took ahold of his rambling little Brother, giving him a dramatic shake to shut him up.  
  
"Cas! Castiel! Thats enough! You have to calm yourself because you have two boys through there who need you right now...First things first we are going to find out what it was that did this to them, then we are gonna find out how to fix it. With any luck those two will be back to causing trouble within the week, but we can't do any of this until you chill...Okay?" Gabriel said, his voice oddly authoritative and comforting at the same time, but one thing stuck out of his speech more than anything else and Castiel couldn't quite believe it when he heard it...  
  
"We?" Castiel asked, almost timidly, but when Gabriel smiled at him he couldn't help but smile back, causing the Archangel to roll his eyes.  
  
"Yes we...you think I am gonna miss this? You babysitting two Winchesters...Its the joke of the millennium!" Gabriel laughed, slapping Castiel on the back and pulling him forward into a hug, a gesture that was almost unheard of but one that Castiel eagerly accepted. After a moment the pair broke apart just in time to hear a small giggle coming from the doorway beside them, and when they turned they saw Sam and Dean watching them from around the door.  
  
"Awwww kissy kissy wissy!" Dean said in a lovey voice, pursing his lips in a mock of a kiss and smacking his lips together, much to Sam's amusement, and Gabriel surprised them all by laughing right along with the boys and pushing Castiel up against the wall, moving in to pretend to kiss his Brother.  
  
"Pucker up there, Cassie! The make-out train is leaving the station! Mwaaaaa" Gabriel joked, puckering his lips and laughing when Castiel went wide-eyed and tried to dodge away from him, unsure what it was that the Archangel was trying to do. When Castiel turned his face away he caught sight of Dean and Sam watching them, and although Sam was pretending to gag and shouting about 'nasty Angels', Dean had fallen silent and there was a look on his face that was hard to place...it almost looked as though he was...jealous? When Gabriel followed Castiel's gaze, the Angel thought that his Brother would take advantage of the situation and use it to make another joke, but surprisingly the Archangel smiled and pulled away, ending the joke with a wink at the boys.  
  
"Dude, thats your Brother!" Dean gagged, shaking off his momentary lapse and smiling when Sammy grinned up at him.  
  
"Yeah like it matters to them...Angels are nasty!" Sam said and before Castiel could scold the boy for being rude he turned to the Angel with an apologetic look. "Besides you Cas, you are awesome..." And with that Castiel couldn't keep the grin from his face, his smile only widening when Gabriel huffed, crossing his arms over his chest like a sulking child.  
  
"Winchester...no taste...brats!" Gabriel muttered under his breath but when Castiel kicked his ankle and levelled him with a glare he rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Yeah okay okay I'll play nice! Right boys, listen up! I know you guys don't think much of me..."  
  
"Understatement of the century..." Dean whispered to Sam, but he fell silent again when he caught Castiel watching him.  
  
"But I wanna help you...I do. I know I've done some crap but I think this is a chance for us to make up for that, and besides...You two really wanna be left with Mr. Supernanny here? You know for a fact he'll be enforcing bedtime and making you eat veggies by the weeks end!" Gabriel said with a triumphant look as both boys went pale and looked at Castiel as though he were the devil himself. "So how about we get to work and you two show me where you were and what you were doing when shit hit the...OW!" Gabriel yelped when Castiel smacked his arm, glaring at him for swearing. "I mean when things got fu...OW! STOP HITTING ME!" Gabriel yelled but Castiel stared him down.  
  
"Then stop swearing! If I will not allow them to do it I will not allow you to do it in front of them!" Castiel told off his Brother and when Gabriel turned back to the boys his voice was mockingly calm.  
  
"My dear boys, if you would be so kind as to show me where you were and what you were doing when you were struck down with this terrible affliction!" Gabriel said dramatically, causing both boys to have to cover their mouths to muffle their laughter as Castiel frowned at Gabe.  
  
"You are mocking me, arent you? Castiel snapped but Gabriel quickly backed away, putting both boys behind him and gesturing for them to run with his hands hidden behind his back.  
  
"Me? Now Castiel I am hurt! You honestly think so little of me, that I would do that to my dear little Brother?" Gabriel asked but when Castiel started to advance on him the Archangel gulped, turning and shoving the boys off down the hallway. "Run boys!" The Archangel yelled, taking off away from the Angel with two giggling Winchesters in tow. Castiel took a moment to watch his Elder Brother running off, as much a child as his two friends, and he sighed heavily, scrubbing his hands over his face.  
  
"Father..." The Angel said, looking up at the ceiling with a scowl. "Why do you hate me?"  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
When the boys took Gabriel into the Archives the Archangel immediately felt the tinge of magic in the air, and it rubbed up along his grace in a most unpleasant way, just like all old world magic did. If there was one thing that Gabriel and Dean Winchester shared - apart from a love for all things sweet, and crappy daytime television shows - it was that they both hated Witches. Whatever it was that had done this to the boys was old world and Gabriel hadn't felt its like since the days of the Salem Witches, which was a revelation that didn't sit well with him. Old Magic like this was never easy to break and that meant that there was a good chance the boys would be stuck this way for awhile, and as funny as it was to think of them as kids he knew that it would be incredibly difficult the longer it dragged on. He also knew that his Brother would never abandon the boys so that meant they were all in this for the long haul and if he was honest with himself...he didn't know if he would be any use to any of them. He had a reputation of breaking things down, but fixing things wasn't his strong suit.  
  
"It was right down here...see we were playing down here and..."  
  
"We weren't playing Sammy! We were wrestling!" Dean cut across his Brother, giving the smaller boy a shove as the walked on ahead of Gabriel, leading the way through the shelves.  
  
"Thats what I said, Dee! Anyway we got down here and we were messing around and something fell...here it was this!" Sam yelled excitedly as he bent down to pick up the broken bottle that was lying on the floor. Gabriel darted forward just in time to slap Sam's hand away from the broken glass, but he instantly regretted it when Sam yelped and looked up at him with his signature puppy eyes, tears starting to fill them as he rubbed at the spot where Gabriel hit him. The Archangel reached forward and took Sam's hand gently, a little hurt when the boy flinched at his touch, but he rubbed it gently and leant in to place a small kiss on the skin.  
  
"I am sorry, Sammy. I didn't mean to scare you, I just don't want you getting hurt...forgive me?" Gabriel asked, and Sam took a minute to think about it before he smiled again and nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry I scared you Gabriel..." Sam said and Gabriel laughed, brushing off the moment by rolling his eyes. "You, scare me? Not a chance Sammy...Castiel on the other hand? You get hurt and he'll tear my ass up!"  
  
"You are correct in that Gabriel, I find one hair out of place and I'll be coming after you...Now! Have we worked out what it was that caused the issue?" Castiel asked and Gabriel motioned for him to walk off a little, away from the boys. Before he moved off Castiel turned to the pair with a hard gaze. "Boys, I want you to be careful where you step and do not let me catch you fooling around, you have already experienced first hand how dangerous it is down here let us not have a repeat of it!" Castiel said before walking off with Gabriel, and when they were a short distance away Gabriel turned to him.  
  
"Its magic, old world and very powerful...I doubt this is going to go away over night." Gabriel said and Castiel sighed heavily, shaking his head a little as he looked over at the boys who where sitting on one of the tables and watching the Angels talk.  
  
"Do you think the solution could be somewhere within these books?" Castiel asked and Gabriel nodded, but as both Angels shared a look they knew that it was not going to be a simple solution and until they found one the Bunker was not the place to be keeping the boys. Castiel was becoming upset again as he realised he had two young boys under his wing, and nowhere to go where they would be safe. Gabriel watched his Brother's shoulder slump and in that instant me had made his decision....  
  
"Go get the boys ready to leave, I'll drop you all off and get you settled then I'll come back here and start moving the books...we can start reading over them after they are in bed..." Gabriel explained and Castiel raised his eyebrow, confused for a moment.  
  
"I do not understand...where are we going?" Castiel asked and Gabriel grinned at him.  
  
"Home..."


	3. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel brings the boys home and Castiel makes sure that the Archangel is not simply playing with them once again.

Castiel was still confused as to where exactly it was that they were going but regardless he got the boys ready to fly, having to take a full hour calming Dean’s nerves as the boy was not a happy flyer at the best of times but now with everything that had happened he was a nervous wreck.  
  
“I promise you, Dean, nothing bad will happen to you while you are flying with me…” Castiel assured the quivering boy in front of him as he straightened up his sweater – Gabriel had ‘discovered’ a box of old clothing, most of which looked like it came right out of an old Victorian novel, and had forced the boys into something more suitable, promising them that as soon as was feasible they would go shopping for more appropriate attire.  
  
“But…what if you drop me? Or crash into something?” Dean asked in a quiet voice so that Sammy wouldn’t hear him, he did not think he could stand the teasing he would get from his younger Brother if the kid found out that Dean was scared. Castiel didn’t get a chance to answer before Gabriel had knelt down beside them and placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder, an almost tender touch that had Castiel smiling…who knew his older Brother would be so good with children. Then again, now that he thought about it, Gabriel practically was a child so it would make sense that he could relate to them so easily.  
  
“You wanna know a secret about Castiel here? Something he would never ever tell anyone, not even if they threatened to clip his wings?” Gabriel asked and when Dean’s eyes went wide with curiosity the Archangel leant forward and whispered to him quietly. “In Heaven every year all the fledglings who are learning to fly for the first time are trained by the head Archangel, and back when Castiel was a baby it was Michael and Lucifer who were in charge. So the day of his first flight Michael was strutting around, giving his usual speech about how ‘none of you will make it the first time’ and ‘don’t even think of making it off the ground today’ and blah blah blah! And all the while he is talking the group of Fledglings and the larger group of Angels who had gathered to watch were all too busy trying not to laugh to pay any attention to Michael…because right behind him this guy here” Gabriel pointed to Castiel with a Cheshire cat sized grin “had been lapping the flying field over and over, looping the loop and pulling off tricks that even his so called high and mighty Mikey couldn’t have managed!” Gabriel chuckled when Dean looked over at a blushing Castiel with a look of pure awe on his face. “So when he tells you that you are safe with him, he means it. He’d never ever drop you big guy, he’s Heavens best flyer.” Gabriel finished, standing up and leaving Castiel and Dean alone while he went to deal with Sammy who had managed to get himself caught up in his zipper and was about two seconds away from ripping his shirt off.  
  
“You really did all of that?” Dean asked Castiel who cleared his throat and nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.  
  
“I was, as you would put it ‘a cocky b-word’ when I was a Fledgling, it is one of the many reasons why Angels such as Michael, Raphael and Naomi did not like me very much. I stepped out of line far too many times…”  
  
“You had the balls to!” Dean corrected and this once Castiel allowed the curse word to slip by because he was enjoying the look of pride on Dean’s face.  
  
“Well, yes. Now are you ready to fly with me Dean?” Castiel asked, holding out his hand for Dean to take which the boy eagerly accepted.  
  
“Okay, let’s go. But no loop the loops, okay?” Dean said nervously and Castiel laughed out loud at this, pulling Dean closer to him and nodded to Gabriel who had Sam already tucked under his wing – although invisible to both boys at the moment – and with that they took off, Castiel following close behind the Archangel as he pulled them halfway around the world and not towards Heaven as Castiel had originally thought.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
When the Angels finally landed on the front lawn of a medium sized two storey home at the end of a country road Castiel was confused as to why they were here, but it became apparent when Gabriel removed a set of house keys from the pocket of his jacket and started towards the front door.  
  
“You live here?” Sam asked, taking the question straight from Castiel’s mind and saving the Angel from having to ask it himself. Gabriel turned and smiled at the kid as he unlocked the front door and pushed it open wide, allowing Sam, Dean and Cas to see inside.  
  
“We live here, kiddo. Until we can fix you up and get you back to your normal age this is your home to, you, Deano and Cassie!” Gabriel explained as the group entered the warm and inviting hallway. It was decorated in reds and golds, all the furniture light wood and sturdy which made Dean think of the kind of furniture they used to have…back when his Mother had been alive. In fact when Dean looked around the house was almost the same, it had the same lived in and loved feeling that he had once known, but there was one big difference that made Dean feel a little sorry for Gabriel…  
  
There were no pictures.  
  
Mary had loved pictures; she had tons of them covering every surface. Pictures of Dean and Sam and John, and all of her family, but here there were no pictures and Dean knew why…Gabriel didn’t have any family.  
  
There were several doors leading off to different rooms, and a set of stairs heading up to where Dean assumed there would bedrooms. From down here Dean could see there was a living room to his right and a kitchen to his left and down the end of the hallway there was another door which was no doubt a bathroom. When Dean finally looked up at Gabriel again he found the Archangel staring at him with an expectant look and Dean realised that he was waiting for the boys opinion. At first Dean didn’t know what to say…how could you say thank you for something like this, when someone opens their door to you and gives you a home. Thank you wasn’t anywhere near enough, but luckily Sammy was much better at this kind of thing than Dean could ever be. The younger Winchester ran up to the Archangel and wrapped his arms around Gabriel's middle, burying his face into Gabe's belly and holding on tightly. Gabriel was stunned for a moment, holding his breath as though waiting for something to happen but when the hug drew out he slowly wrapped his arms around the boy and relaxed into the embrace, smiling at Castiel as he did so and when Dean looked up at Cas the Angel had a strange smile on his lips...almost a little smug...  
  
"Thanks Gabe...you're the best!" Sam said when he finally pulled away, smiling up at Gabriel and the Archangel didn't trust his voice so he simply nodded, hoping it would be enough for the young boy.  
  
"Well..." Castiel finally said, breaking the silence of the room with a clap of his hands. "I believe it is time for you boys to go to bed, Gabriel and I have much work to do if we ever wish to return you to your rightful state so..."  
  
"Oh no what?!"  
  
"Come on, man!"  
  
"Do not argue with me, boys!" Castiel snapped, his voice firm and Gabriel was about to laugh until to pairs of huge begging eyes turned on him.  
  
"Gabe, do we have to?" Sammy asked while Dean pouted behind him, both clearly unhappy about being sent to bed, but Castiel was correct it was already past nine and both boys had been through so much already.  
  
"Listen to Castiel, kiddo's, he knows best. He and I have a lot of work to do and you two need to get some sleep...we got a big day tomorrow." Gabriel said, walking forward and urging the boys to head upstairs, following closely behind them with Castiel at his side. Both Sam and Dean shared a confused look and Gabriel grinned at them mysteriously. "We have a lot of shopping to do tomorrow, if you boys are gonna be staying here you'll need clothes...games...your room decorated..." This revelation earned an excited gasp from the pair.  
  
"We get our own room?!" Sam squeaked excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet when Gabriel nodded.  
  
"Why don't you go have a look...its not much now just some beds and basics but tomorrow we'll go pick up whatever you want for it. If..." Gabriel stopped the pair in their tracks, locking eyes with them. "You go to bed now and let us work. Understand?" The Archangel smiled when the boys nodded, and allowed them to run off to the room at the end of the hall, giving Gabriel and Castiel a moment alone.  
  
"Gabriel, as much as I appreciate all that you are doing...are you sure you wish to be so involved in this? I would not wish for them...if you were to become bored and..." Castiel was struggling to speak, choosing his words carefully in hopes of not offending his Brother but Gabriel understood all too well what it was Cas was suggesting.  
  
"You think I am gonna up and disappear on you again, Cassie..." Gabriel said, trying to play it off but Castiel held his gaze until he looked away, a little uncomfortable with the Angel's ability to hit him where it hurt without even trying.  
  
"I think that they do not need any more uncertainty in their lives, and if you wish to be apart of this family then I want to know you are in it one hundred percent...there are no half measures here, Gabriel. Are you in or out?" Castiel asked and Gabriel took a few minutes to think things over before he slowly extended his hand, waiting for Castiel to shake it. His younger Brother smiled and reached out, taking Gabe's hand but when he gripped it he pulled Gabriel forward into a hug, sighing happily when Gabriel hugged him back. "I have missed you greatly, Brother..." Castiel sighed and Gabriel pulled back only a little to put them forehead to forehead.  
  
"Oh for Chuck's sake, would you to stop with the PDA's...barf!" Dean yelled down the hall only to duck back inside the doorway laughing when Gabriel pushed Castiel away and took off down the hallway after the boy.  
  
"Thats it, Winchester, you're going down!" The Archangel yelled, his voice light and playful once again and Castiel couldn't help but smile as he listened to the excited squeals of his boys presumably being tickled by Gabriel. The Angel rested back against the wall for a moment and closed his eyes, allowing the peace of the place to wash over him.  
  
It felt so good to be home.


	4. In The Arms Of The Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting Winchesters to go to bed is a mammoth task but with a little help from Gabriel's amazing singing voice both boys spend a peaceful first night in their new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel's Lullaby - In The Arms Of The Angel by Sarah Mclaughlin. THIS DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! ALL RIGHTS TO THE ARTIST!

If Gabriel had thought that getting two fun-sized Winchesters to go to bed at such an early hour, he had grossly underestimated the sulking power of Sam, and the stubbornness of Dean. Castiel could only stand in the doorway and laugh as Gabriel, cool and in control Gabriel, ran circles around the room while trying to coax a butt naked Sam Winchester into his pajamas bottoms.  
  
"Sam, Moose, come on! This is getting insane now!" Gabriel yelled as Sam vaulted the bed, bare assed and giggling, before diving under the covers of Dean's bed. Dean, for his part, was locked in the bathroom and cheering Sammy on from behind the locked door. Gabriel cursed himself internally for giving the boys a room with an en-suite but he would just have to live and learn. Castiel watched on as Gabriel pulled up the covers of the bed and succeeded in getting himself into a game of tug-o-war with Sam, and the Angel foresaw this situation becoming very bad very quickly so finally he stepped into the room and made his way over to the bed were both Archangel and Winchester were grappling from opposite sides of the single bed. Cas looked between the two and then back to Sam who was grinning wildly, but as Cas stared him down the boy's smile slipped and he ducked his head, a small submission that Castiel took in favour of making some headway.  
  
"Sam you will let go of that blanket this instant and stop this foolish behaviour, do you understand?" Castiel said and with a quick smirk Sam did just what he was told and released his grip on the blanket. unfortunately for Gabriel the Archangel was still pulling on one end and with shriek and a crash he tumbled backwards and onto the floor, pulling the blanket on top of himself as he went. Sam put his hands over his mouth to stifle his giggles but a bark of laughter from the bathroom reminded Castiel that there was still Dean to deal with so with one final stern look at Sam the Angel stepped over the pile on the floor that was his older Brother and made his way towards the bathroom door. With a flurry of loud knocks Castiel waited patiently until the door latch clicked open and Dean's guilty face appeared in the crack of the door.  
  
"Heeey, Cas!" Dean said, putting on his best Lady-Killer smile but Castiel was unimpressed and when Dean finally lowered his eyes to the floor Cas spoke.  
  
"Dean I wish you to take your Brother and make sure that you are both washed and dressed for bed within the next thirty minutes. Failure to do so will result in you both spending tomorrow clearing out the library and washing down the bathrooms rather than the wonderful day out that Gabriel has planned for you. Is that something you wish to risk?" Castiel asked and when Dean shook his head, peering up at him with sorrowful eyes, Cas turned to Sam and motioned for the boy to go with his Brother.  
  
Once the naked behind of Sam Winchester had disappeared inside the bathroom with his PJs in hand, Castiel walked back to Gabriel who was still hiding beneath the blanket on the floor. Castiel cleared his throat and Gabriel slowly stuck his head out from beneath the blanket and looked around with fearful eyes.  
  
"Are the gone? Is it over?" Gabriel asked and Castiel couldn't help but chuckle as he pulled the blanket off his idiot elder brother.  
  
"Yes, Gabriel, it is safe now you can come out..." Castiel joked as he started to rearrange the blanket on Dean's bed, smoothing it out so that it was ready for the young boy to sleep in and smiling at the bathroom door. It felt good to know that the boys would be sleeping in proper beds tonight inside of some dingy Motel, as had been the norm during much of their first childhood. Gabriel sighed dramatically and got to his feet, starting to pick up the clothes that Sam had discarded around the room in his haste to get naked and run away from him, and when both the Angels had finished their work the room was looking ready for a quiet night of rest. Gabriel flicked the main light off after Castiel had lit the beside lamps and the room took on a soft glow which made it seem all the more peaceful. Gabe and Cas smiled at one another and Castiel opened his mouth to thank his brother once again for his hospitality but the bathroom door opened and both their boys wandered out, dressed in their PJs and looking suddenly very tired. Sam was holding Dean's hand and rubbing at his eyes with his little fist, and Dean's own eyes were heavy and red from tiredness. Gabriel opened his arms for Sam to come to him and he led the boy around to his own bed as Castiel took Dean by the arm and walked the older boy to his, helping him to crawl under the sheets as he was still a little weary from the emotional distress of the day. When both boys were tucked in the Angels turned to leave but a small squeak from Sammy had Gabriel turning around quickly. The boy was only a pair of big puppy eyes peering over his blankets, a tiny little figure in the bed, and Gabriel couldn't help the warm smile that touched his lips at the scene before him.  
  
"Something wrong there, Sammy?" Gabriel asked, smiling as the boy blushed a little and looked away.  
  
"Can...I...can you...sing to us?" Sam asked and a groan from Dean's bed had Sam glaring over at his Brother.  
  
"Seriously Sammy? You are such a girl!" Dean said, throwing a pillow at his baby brother.  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Are to!"  
  
"Am not!!"  
  
"Enough! Dean do not tease your brother like that, I happen to know you also enjoy a lullaby for bedtime so do not even try to pretend with me, boy!" Castiel said, his voice stern and clipped enough that both boys quieted down immediately, leaving Gabriel smiling at the blushing Sam and slowly sitting on the edge of the boys bed.  
  
"I can sing you something Sammy, if you'd like that...and if Dean wants to listen in that's fine to..." Gabe said, giving the elder boy a wink as Dean lay down on his pillow - which Castiel had retrieved for him - and he did not turn away as Gabriel started to sing softly to them.  
  
_"Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance, for a break that would make it okay. There's always some reason to feel not good enough, and it's hard at the end of the day, I need some distraction or a beautiful release, memories seep from my veins. Let me be empty, oh and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight."_ Gabriel sang softly as Castiel took a seat beside Dean, stroking through  the boys hair gently as both Sam and Dean relaxed down into their beds. _"In the arms of the angels, fly away from here, from this dark cold motel room and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. You're in the arms of the angels, may you find some comfort here...You're in the arms of the angels, may you find some comfort here."_ Gabriel finished off his lullaby as the boys eyes slid closed and Sammy lay before him snoring softly, chest rising and falling with his gentle breathing as he slept on. Gabriel leant in and gave the kid a kiss on the forehead, whispering his good nights as Castiel did the same with Dean, but when both Angel's shared a look Gabe smiled. "I guess we should get that research started huh?" The Archangel said and both the Angels sighed, unhappy about leaving their boys but knowing that they had a responsibility to them, so they got up and with one final look at the sleeping figures Castiel killed the lights and both he and Gabriel left, leaving the door slightly ajar so they could hear any disturbances in the night.  
  
  
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Once Gabriel had returned with the research books from the MOLs Bunker - they had flipped to decide whom would go for the books and whom would stay with the boys as neither was willing to leave them alone in the house, despite how safe it was - both Angel's set up in the library of Gabriel's home and set to work, reading everything that they could find about the various potions that were stored in the Archives. They talked most of the night, at first only about the research they were doing but as the night moved on they moved onto more personal subjects.  
  
"I must admit Gabriel I never expected you to be so good with children." Castiel admitted, hoping not to insult his Brother but Gabriel just smiled at him.  
  
"Well I was always good with you, baby bird!" Gabriel joked and laughed when Castiel blushed at the old nickname, shaking his head at his Brothers playfulness.  
  
"I guess that is true...you used to sing to me at night as well. You always had a very nice voice, it was soothing to me...when you left I...I missed you." Castiel said, unable to meet Gabes eyes but he felt the mood change and when Gabriel's hand came down on his shoulder Castiel looked up, meeting his Brothers eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, Cas...I never meant to hurt you." Gabriel said, the sincerity in his voice enough to stun Castiel for a moment. The Brothers smiled at one another and pressed foreheads together, a small laugh escaping from Cas as he realised that he was really sitting here with his Brother, and this was not just some crazy dream. After a few minutes Gabriel drew away and they both returned to their books, content in their company for the night.  
  
  
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Dean was stirring in his sleep again, whimpering and moaning as his nightmares played out behind his eyes and when a particularly loud cry awoke Sam the young boy crept out of his bed and crawled up beside Dean, shaking his whimpering Brother awake.  
  
"Dean...Dean! Please wake up, Dean!" Sam said in a soft voice, trying to keep quiet so he would not alert the Angels, he knew Dean wouldn't want them to know he had been upset. When his Brothers eyes finally flew open and he lay  there breathing heavily, Sam smiled at him and all but sat on his chest, waiting for Dean to fully awake.  
  
"Sam...what the hell is going on? Are you okay? Is it Cas?" Dean said, starting to panic as all kinds of scenarios flashed behind his eyes but Sam shook his head and hushed him, placing his tiny hands over his Brothers mouth.  
  
"We're fine Dean, we're with Gabe remember? He wouldn't let nothing happen to us or Cas...You were having a bad dream so I woke you up. Was that wrong?" Sam asked, eyes uncertain as he stared down at Dean but when the boy smiled and lifted the blanket, Sammy grinned and dived under beside his Brother, snuggling up against him as Dean let the cover fall over them both. "Was it a real bad dream, Dean?" Sammy asked and Dean nodded, but when he said no more Sam understood that Dean didn't want to talk about it so he moved on. "Well don't you worry about nothing Dean, Cas is downstairs and he would make the dreams go away if they got really really bad..."  
  
"Yeah I know...he is my best friend." Dean said with a small smile that Sam caught and it made him grin.  
  
"You like him more than that though, right?" Sam said and squeaked when Dean pushed him roughly, huffing aloud when his baby Brother just laughed.  
  
"No way! Its not like that!" Dean said but when Sam gave him 'the look' the boy frowned and turned away, putting his back to his Brother. After several minutes of awkward silence Dean finally muttered. "Okay so maybe he is kinda cute but that doesn't mean anything!" The boy said and Sam whooped behind him, prompting Dean to roll over on top of him and put a hand over his mouth to shut him up before the Angel's heard them. Dean and Sam lay completely still, listening for any sounds that might mean an approaching Angel, but when the silence remained all around them Dean removed his hand from his grinning Brother and scowled down at him. "Way to go Sam, you nearly got us caught!" Dean snapped, rolling off Sam who shrugged and turned on him, grinning like an idiot.  
  
"Oh don't worry Dean, I'm sure Cas would love to put you over his knee and..." Sam started but he never got to finish before Dean squeaked indignantly.  
  
"Ew! Sam! You're disgusting!" Dean snapped at him. "Just because you want that freaky crap with Gabe..." Dean grinned when Sam's face fell and went a deep shade of red.  
  
"What...you don't know what you are talking about! I don't like Gabe!" Sam pouted and when Dean continued to grin Sam picked up the pillow and whacked him with it.  
  
_"Oh Uncle Gabe, could you pwease sing to me!"_ Dean said in a squeaky voice, imitating Sam terribly and laughing when his Brother continued to beat him with the pillow. "Did you like his voice Samantha, was it dreamy?"  
  
"Screw you!" Sam yelled and before the Brothers could get into a real wrestling match, Castiel's voice yelled up the stairs at them.  
  
"Boys! I do not believe you are both sleeping, please do not make me come up there!" Castiel snapped and the tone of his voice was enough to drive Sam out of Dean's bed and back to his own, both boys calming down again and drifting back to sleep easily.  
  
Dean had no more bad dreams that night, but when he awoke in the morning with an embarrassing erection he realised that his dreams had taken a rather different turn.  
  
Maybe Sammy had been right...Maybe he did like Cas...  
  
But Dean didn't get to think anymore on it as the door to their bedroom was suddenly pushed open and a small yappy dog came running into the room, leaping up onto the bed beside a snoozing Sam and starting to lick his face enthusiastically.  
  
Oh this was going to be interesting.


	5. Puppy Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean meet Gabriel's puppy, Cookie, and Dean gets into trouble before Breakfast but how will Castiel respond to the boys bad behaviour...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!  
> Dean has a small break in this chapter and there is some flashbacks to his past with John. Although John is not technically abusive (given the time frame and the lifestyle they lived), it would be considered abuse now and may still cause some emotional distress. I promise there is a happy finish and Cas is a proper Father to Dean, a good man. I'd have nothing less for the boys. x

Sam awoke the next day to the sounds of giggling and the shutter click of a phone camera, but the biggest surprise was the flat wet tongue that was licking all over his face and the rancid dog breath puffing over his skin. The boys eyes snapped open and he had a wonderful view of the inside of a dogs mouth before he was sitting bolt up right in bed and swiping furiously over his face, trying to wipe off the sticky drool that was coating his face.  
  
"Ewww! Dog breath!" Sam squeaked, pushing the small dog away from him as he tried to dry himself off on his sleeve and that was when he noticed Gabriel standing at the foot of his bed with his phone camera trained on the young boy and a giant grin on his face.  
  
"Morning Sammoose! I see you met Cookie!" Gabriel said as the puppy moved back up the bed towards Sam, determind to snuggle himself into the boys chest and Sam couldn't help but reach out and stroke his fingers through the dogs coat.  
  
"Cookie...seriously? Trust you to have a dog called Cookie..." Dean said as Sam continued to pet all over the puppy and giggle when it pushed up onto his chest and started atatcking his face with kisses again. Dean smiled at his little Brother and watched the kids face light up as Gabriel explained all about Cookie and how he had gotten him. Sam had always wanted a dog when they were growing up but John had been adament that they were not getting one, although for the life of him Dean didn't know why John wouldn't have even considered it. Dean knew that a lot of Hunters travelled with a dog, for protection and back-up when they where out alone, it would have been a great idea to help watch over Sammy when Dad was gone...and perhaps Dean wouldn't have felt so alone...A hand on his shoulder startled Dean out of his thoughts and he turned to find Castiel staring him down with a little frown on his face, a frown that Dean had come to know well. It was the expression the Angel pulled on him when he needed to say "You are a wonderful person and you should not be dwelling on the past!", without actually saying those words and risking a punch in the face from a blushing Dean Winchester. Dean smiled and reached up to pat the Angel's hand before turning back to Sammy who was now rolling around on the bed with the barking dog and laughing hysterically.  
  
"He is super cute, Gabe! Oh, can we take him with us to the Mall? Pretty please!" Sam begged, both kid and puppy turning on the Archangel with the sweetest set of eyes he had ever seen. Dean would have hated to be in Gabriels shoes right about now because there was no way someone like him could withstand the might of the Sam Winchester puppy eyes cranked up to eleven, but luckily for him Castiel stepped in to be the voice of reason.  
  
"No Sam, the dog must stay here. It would not be fair to him to leave him in the car all day and we are not permitted to take him into the stores with us." Castiel said in his best firm voice and Sam huffed, pulling the dog close to his chest and pouting. Dean saw right through his baby brother and he knew that Sam was pulling out the big guns, hoping that Castiel would melt under the force of his pouty lip and give him what he wanted but surprisingly Castiel remained stone-faced and as stoic as ever. After a full minute of staring - a record to rival even the epic Dean/Cas staring matches - Gabriel stepped between the dueling pair and stared down at Sammy.  
  
"I think Castiel is right, Sam. The dog stays here and that is final." Gabriel said in a stern voice that shocked Dean and Castiel, but unseen by either of them Gabriel sent Sam a wink which told the boy to nod along because he was planning something. Sam allowed his head to droop dramatically and he sighed heavily.  
  
"Okay Gabriel, whatever you say." Sam agreed and Dean's jaw almost hit the floor as Gabriel turned to them, smiling smugly. Castiel eyed his Brother thoughtfully for a moment but after some thought he shrugged his shoulders and smiled back, before getting up from Dean's bed where he had been sitting and staring down at the two boys.  
  
"We have a very long day today boys, so I would like you to both wash, dress in the clothes I have left for you in the bathroom and meet us downstairs for some breakfast as soon as possible." Castiel said before placing a hand on Gabriels back and leading him from the room, leaving a very confused Dean staring at his little Brother in disbelief.  
  
"What?!" Sam finally snapped after several uncomfortable minutes of being eye-balled.  
  
"Who are you and what have you done with my Brother?" Dean joked but Sam fixed him with a bitchface and tutted, reaching back behind himself to grab his pillow and throw it at Dean's head.  
  
"You are such a dick sometimes, Dean!" Sam yelled but before Dean could retaliate Sam had jumped out of bed and ran for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and locking it. Dean was right behind him and slammed into the door just as it was closed in his face, growling as he yanked at the handle.  
  
"Damn it, Sammy! You know the rules, First Born First Choice!" Dean yelled through the door but the sound of the water blasting into life had the boy kicking the door in frustration.  
  
"I can't hear you, Dean!" Sam sang from inside the bathroom and Dean huffed, giving up his death grip on the handle.  
  
"You had better not use all the hot water! Bitch!" Dean barked and he heard Sam gasp on the other side of the door.  
  
"Oh, you swore! I'm so telling Cas!" Sam threatened and Dean gawked at the door seperating him from his annoying little Brother - had Sam always been such a little...  
  
"Bastard! Why I oughta..."  
  
"DEAN WINCHESTER!"  
  
Dean whirled around to find a very ticked off Castiel standing in the doorway with a look on his face which told Dean all he needed to know...  
  
He was in so much trouble.  
  
  
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As if hearing Dean swear and call his Brother horrible names had not been enough to render Castiel in a, quote, _'p'd off mood'_ , seeing the mark left on the door from where Dean' had kicked it was enough for the child to find himself in Castiel's bad books. Dean had been told to shower, dress and meet Cas downstairs in the livingroom before breakfast so they could 'talk', but Dean was not stupid and he knew full well that when a grown-up said 'talk' they meant 'tear up your ass with the belt for being an idiot, again!'. When the boy emerged from the bathroom after only five minutes under the water Sam eyed him carefully and opened his mouth to say something but seemed to think better of it and, with a quick nod to Dean, left for the kitchen. Dean was tempted to try and dawdle along and maybe delay them long enough so Cas would have no time to punish him before it was time to leave but he remembered trying that with his Father once - it did not end well.  
  
John had acted all that day like he had forgotten about it and by the time they stopped in at a new motel that night Dean had been in a pretty good mood...until their Dad booked two rooms. That was the first time John had ever used the belt on Dean and he had not wished for Sam to be present for it so he booked the second room, punished Dean and then left to go look after Sam. Dean had spent the night alone in the spare room trying to sleep off most of the hurt but his ass was the least of his worries, it didn't pain him nearly as much as his heart. John had always been stern but that night he had frightened Dean, truly frightened him, so much so that Dean had almost been sure that his Father had been possessed, but of course he was not. He was just John. Plain old, drunken, angry, John Winchester.  
  
While Dean had been lost in his thoughts he had made his way downstairs, but he had not noticed himself walking nor had he noticed that as he drew closer and closer to the livingroom his breathing had started to speed up and stutter, fear overtaking his mind as he ran through all the possible things that Cas might do to him for swearing.  
  
'Maybe it wont be so bad...' His mind tried to reason with him. "Maybe he does just wanna talk..." And just as Dean started to feel a littl easier, a dark part of his mind - which sounded suspiciously like John Winchester - perked up and started to hiss in his ear.  
  
'Oh yeah, he wants to talk alright, thats all this is...he is just pulling you into a whole other part of the house so he can talk to you. Would you listen to yourself? You sound like a damn pussy trying to talk yourself down like that. How about you just man-up for a change and stop acting like such a girl!' John barked in his mind and Dean felt his eyes stinging with tears which he was fighting not to shed as he walked into the livingroom and saw Castiel standing there, staring at him. 'Oh yeah thats a great tactic there, Dean, start crying. Show him how much of a little bitch you are and maybe he'll go easy on you. Hell if it was me I would be too disgusted to even look at you right now, I didn't raise me no girls! Soldier up, boy! Don't be such a fucking baby!!" Dean felt his knees give out and suddenly Castiel's hands were on him, pulling at him and Dean started to scream, lashing out at the stone wall that was Castiel and clawing at his clothes.  
  
"Don't you fucking touch me!!" Dean screamed at the Angel and quite as suddenly as Cas was there he was gone again, crouched some distance away and watching him warily as he slumped to the floor and curled up into a ball, crying. He watched as Castiel's eyes flicked up nervously to a spot somewhere behind Dean, and the Angel shook his head almost impercivably. It was enough to tell Dean that Gabriel and Sam had heard his screaming and come running, and were now standing in the doorway behind him watching his breakdown.  
  
"Whats wrong with, Dee?" Sams soft voice drifted over to the boy and Dean scrunched his eyes closed, wrapping his arms around himself to try and hide from his embarressment.  
  
"Nothing, Sam, he is just upset is all. Come on, lets go make him some breakfast, Castiel's got this..." Gabriel said to Sam in a soothing voice, and Dean heard them retreating down the hallway. After several minutes of silence Dean opened his eyes and found that Castiel had moved and was now sitting cross-legged on the floor several feet from him.  
  
"Dean...when you feel ready to get up, please come here." Cas said in a soft voice which did nothing to calm Dean and the boy cowered down again, shaking his head. "Why? What is it you think is going to happen if you come sit with me?" Castiel asked and when he didn't yell, or push Dean for an answer the boy lifted his head slightly and looked at the Angel.  
  
"You are going to hit me..." Dean managed to whimper, his ass clenching at the thought of Angelic strength behind those kinds of blows, but Castiel's eyes went wide with surprise.  
  
"Why on Earth would I want to hit you, Dean?" Castiel asked, obviously trying hard to raise his voice even in surprise for fear of startling the boy.  
  
"...to punish me..." Dean said, a little confused as to why Castiel was shocked but still too wary to risk pushing him. Cas stared at him for a moment, that kind of gaze that Dean knew meant he was reading his thoughts again, and under normal circumstances that might have annoyed him but right now it felt like a relief not to have to say these things out loud. The Angel's expression darkened as he hit on the memory which Dean had been replaying when he had his panic attack, and the Angel promised himself there and then that if he ever found the soul of John Winchester he would be sure to have some fun with it - Gabriel style fun. Cas waited a few minutes longer before he reached out his hand, palm up and wiggled his fingers a little playfully, watching as the smallest twitch pulled at the corner of Dean's lips.  
  
"Please come here, Dean. If you know me at all you know I would never hurt you that way..." Castiel said and he waited patiently for Dean to pull himself up and crawl over to him, sitting a foot away from him with his eyes still on the floor. "Thank you, Dean. Now, from what I can tell what we have here...is just a terrible misunderstanding." The Angel said and when Dean finally looked up at him, teary-eyed and confused, Castiel continued to speak. "It seems like you and I have very different ideas about what constitutes a punishment...Tell me Dean, what would you think is a suitable punishment for kicking Gabriel's door and yelling obscenities at your younger Brother?" Cas asked and Dean shrugged, lowering his eyes again.  
  
"I dunno...Spanking, I guess..." Dean said, waiting on the inevitably moment when Castiel finally asked him to bend over the sofa and lower his pants.  
  
"Hmm...I was thinking more along the lines of you clean off that mark you left on Gabriel's bathroom door, apologise to him for it and as for swearing at Sam well...perhaps you forgo having pie for your dessert tonight." Cas said and the Angel had to fight not to grin foolishly as he watched Dean struggle to understand what he was feeling. On the one hand he was unbelievably happy that Castiel would not be spanking him or worse, but on the other hand...no pie! "I understand you are feeling conflicted right now, so I would ask that you take five minutes on the sofa to think over your actions today, and when that is done come into the kitchen and give your apologies to Gabriel. After that we can eat breakfast...does that sound good to you, Dean?" Cas asked and when Dean nodded dumbly the Angel smiled, standing up and helping Dean to his feet before backing the boy up and sitting him down on the sofa. He looked up to the clock hanging on the wall and then back at Dean. "Five minutes, Dean." He said before walking out of the room. That was the longest five minutes of Dean's life.  
  
  
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When Dean walked back into the kitchen after his five minutes were up, he walked straight to Gabriel who was sitting beside Sammy and wrapped his arms around the Archangel, stunning everyone at the table into silence.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Gabe...I didn't mean to mark your door." Dean said, a small sob working its way into his voice as he embraced the Archangel, who slowly wrapped his arms around the shaking boy.  
  
"Hey, don't get yourself all upset Kiddo, its nothing a little elbow grease won't fix. We'll get to that later, okay? Its alright, big guy, its okay." Gabriel soothed as he rubbed circles on Dean's back and when the boy finally pulled away with a small smile, Gabe reached out his hand and wiped the tears from his face, tipping him a wink. Dean winked back and laughed softly before turning to Sammy and hung his head, mumbling softly to his feet.  
  
"I'm sorry I called you a bad name, Sammy...You can have the shower first any time you want..." Dean muttered and Sam thought about it for a moment before lunging forward and pulling his Brother into a tight hug, little arms wrapped around his neck. When soft lips brushed over his cheek Dean broke and lifted the boy up in a tight bear hug, laughing when Sammy squealed excitedly.  
  
"Dee! Put me down!" Sam squealed as Dean started to spin him around, listening to the laughter of both the Angels and his baby brother. Once Dean had spun him enough he set Sammy on his feet and everyone laughed as the watched Sam stagger back to his seat, dizzy with the spinning. Once they were sat back down at the table, Castiel pushed a plate of breakfast towards Dean and everyone settled down into normal conversation, Gabriel and Sam discussing plans for the boys bedroom - and Sam had some very big ideas about what he wanted for his new room. Dean sat listening to his Brother going on about the things he wanted and he lost himself in his thoughts, thanking a God he barely believed in that they had this second chance to be normal kids and that Sammy could have the things he never had while growing up. Dean looked up when Cas placed a hand on his shoulder and found the Angel smiling down at him.  
  
"I am very proud of you, Dean." Cas said, his voice soft and sincere, and Dean could barely eat another bite of breakfast as he sat there staring at his plate with a growing smile on his face.  
  
Cas was proud of him.  
  
He was good.


	6. The Shopping Trip From Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Angels attempt to take the Boys shopping but between Booster Seat Meltdowns and Dean being a little shit in front of their Waitress its been a very stressful trip...

Trying to wrangle the two Winchesters into their coats and get them out the door for nine was one of the toughest missions that Castiel had ever partook in, but it was worth it to see the look on Dean's face when Castiel walked him, not to the drivers door where he had been aiming but for the backseat...where two booster seats were waiting for them.  
  
"I am not sitting in that! I am not a child!" Dean barked, backing away from the car quickly and crossing his arms over his chest. Castiel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before fixing Dean with a stern gaze.  
  
"Dean, please do not be difficult about this, the law states..."  
  
"I don't give a rats..." Dean started but the flare in Castiel's eyes had him quickly rethinking his choice of words before speaking again. "I don't care what the law says, Cas, I am not doing it! Its for little kids, I'm not a little kid I'm a...a..." Dean stuttered to a halt, suddenly lost for words and unable to keep eye contact with the firm faced Angel.  
  
"A what, Dean? A child? Because for all intents and purposes you are exactly that, and as your Elder it is my job to look after you, which involves enforcing the rules regardless of your feelings about them. Now I am not saying you do not have a choice in this Dean, you do...you can either get into the seat and buckle up securely or you can come back inside where you and I will spend a rather dull day cleaning Gabriel's home from top to bottom while Gabriel takes Sam out without us." Castiel said, watching Dean carefully as the boy shuffled his feet and scowled at the ground, unhappy with either choice but not willing to speak out again. It was clear he was not going to get his own way in this but that did not mean he had to be happy about it. Finally, after several minutes of pouting in which Castiel merely stared him down and remained silent, Dean got into the damn seat and pulled his seatbelt across, clipping it in place before turning his face to the window and crossing his arms again. Castiel exchanged a wry smile with his Brother before reaching into the car and fiddling with Dean's seatbelt, straightening it out and fixing the boys clothes which were rumpled slightly from the belt. When he was done he reached up and cupped Dean's jaw, gently pulling the boy around to face him.  
  
"Thank you, Dean. I know it is difficult to follow these rules but please remember that I only insist on them because I care very deeply about you. I would hate to be responsible for you becoming injured." Castiel explained and despite himself Dean couldn't help but smile at the Angel, nodding slightly in understanding. Seeing Dean smile made Cas' heart lighten and he leant forward to place a small kiss on his charges forehead before pulling back quickly again and leaving a stunned Dean sitting alone in the backseat.  
  
Once Sam was buckled into his seat by Gabriel, the Angel and the Archangel had a brief staring match over whom was going to be the driver, a battle which Castiel won after Dean joined his side and glared at the Trickster. It was obvious from the boys face that a little rebellion would be the least of their worries if Gabriel were to try and take the drivers seat. So with a pout and a huff Gabriel took the passenger seat and Castiel slid confidently behind the wheel. Dean gulped nervously as Castiel fired up his Baby and he was straining to see into the front seat to make sure that the Angel was doing everything right, but he was too short to see around the seat and the belt was restricting him too tightly. Castiel sensed his distress and looked at him in the rear view mirror, a small smile playing on his lips.  
  
"I know perfectly well what I am doing Dean, please don't worry about it." Castiel said and, unheard by either of the boys, Gabriel snorted.  
  
"Yeah right! Since when do you know how to drive?" Gabriel spoke in Castiel's head and the younger Angel frowned at his Brother, eyes flicking quickly to the mirror to check the boys had not noticed anything strange.  
  
"I have observed Dean drive this contraption several times, how hard can it really be?!" Castiel snapped back, trying to keep his expression neutral as he argued silently with the Archangel. "Come now, what is the worst that can happen..."  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
Dean's knuckles were white and he was gripping the sides of the seat fearfully, teeth gritted and eyes closed, by the time Castiel pulled into the parking lot of the Mall. The Angel was smiling happily and completely oblivious to the utter terror of his passengers, Gabriel included, but the Archangel was blocking the feelings from the boys and himself from reaching out to Castiel to spare the proud Angel's feelings. He had not done anything overtly dangerous but his driver was twitchy and he had a bit of a blind eye for other drivers on the road which meant they had spent much of the trip being yelled at and flipped off by other, very angry road users.  
  
"There, that wasn't so bad was it?" Castiel said after a very nerve wracking parking job, smiling at his Family who all strained to smile back without saying a word. Dean was just desperate to get out and check over his Baby, determined to make it up to her when he got big again. Once this was all over Cas was never getting behind the wheel again.  
  
Fifteen minutes later and the whole Family were entering the Mall, Dean holding Sam's hand tightly so that the boy could not run off excitedly. It was the first time in their whole long lives that they had gone to a Mall with the opportunity to buy -anything- they wanted, and Dean was still a little overwhelmed by the idea. Gabriel had informed them just before entering that they were not to hold back, and if they wanted something they only had to ask and he would buy it for them. Castiel had opted for setting a budget but Gabriel had stared him down, silently reminding him that the boys had never had anything and this was their chance to make it up which Castiel reluctantly agreed with in the end. It wasn't like they could spoil them as grown ups - Adult Dean would have a fit.  
  
"So where to first, Kiddo's?" Gabriel asked, smiling at how excited Sam had gotten since they arrived.  
  
"Toy store! Toy store!" Sam yelled as he jumped up and down beside Dean but Castiel stepped forward and spoke to Gabriel quietly.  
  
"We really should get their clothes first, Gabe...It would be better to do all the 'boring' activities first rather than risk them becoming tired and then having to drag them around clothes shopping." Castiel reasoned and Gabriel nodded in agreement, sighing softly as he looked down at Sam's happy face. He was not eager to lose that smile so quickly but it had to be done.  
  
"Okay Sam, as much as I would like to shop for your Toys first Castiel and I agree that its better to get all the boring stuff done first then we can spend the whole day doing fun stuff to make up for it. So we are going to get your clothes first then we can go have some lunch, and after that we will go do whatever you want okay mini Moose?" Gabriel asked and Sam's smile slid off his face, a tiny little pout appearing on his lips. Dean recognised all the warning signs of a Baby Bitch Fit before the Angels did and he quickly stepped in front of Sam, kneeling down to put himself on Sam's level.  
  
"Hey big guy, I think they are right. Sooner we get the crap done the sooner we can have some fun. I know it sucks but we'll run through it together and then we can eat...and hey, how about Ice Cream..." Dean said but he quickly remembered that he was not in control and looked over his shoulder meekly at Castiel. "We can have Ice Cream if we are good, right Cas?" Dean asked politely and Cas' face lit up at the boys thoughtfulness. He nodded and looked from Dean to Sam, happy to see that the younger Winchester was listening to his big Brother.  
  
"Yes, of course we can. You boys can have anything you like for lunch providing we get everything done without incident. Would you like an Ice Cream with your lunch, Sam?" Castiel asked and Sam smiled once again, all his excitement coming back to him in an easy wave.  
  
"Yeah! Can I have chocolate?!" Sam said, easily slipping his hand into Gabriel's as the group started walking again. Dean watched his Brother go and grinned when Castiel walked up behind him and placed a hand on his back, moving him forward easily and smiling down at him. He wore a look of pride which made Dean's heart swell, and he realised he was growing very fond of making Castiel look at him that way. It was the look he had always wanted from John, and the one look he never got. Cas was proud.  
  
When they made it into the clothing store, a little of Sam's excitement dulled but it didn't last for long as Gabriel started pulling shirts and jeans from the shelf easily, needing only a flicker of interest from Sam to buy the kid whatever he wanted and Sam quickly got excited again. These clothes were not thrift store clothes, they were not cheap and Gabriel was not being picky about them, he was not quibbling about the price. He was just buying them.  
  
"I love this one!" Sam squealed happily when he found a teeny tiny Game Of Thrones Tee with a picture of a Dragon on it and Gabriel immediately found his size, throwing in one for Sam before picking out on for Dean aswell. The elder Winchester was close to objecting before Castiel gave his shoulder a squeeze. Dean was having a much harder time than Sam picking out clothes for himself not because he didn't know what he wanted but because he was scared to pick it and risk taking money from Sam. All his life Dean had put the younger boy first, often at the expense of his own wellbeing. If Sammy was hungry Sam ate, even if it meant Dean starved, and if Sammy needed clothes Sammy got clothes even if it meant Dean was cold - That was just how it had always been and Dean was so used to it by now that even as he stared at a shopful of clothes all he could think of was Sammy. Luckily for him Castiel saw Dean's mental struggle and signaled silently to take Sam to try on his purchases, giving him a chance to speak with Dean alone. The boy was slowly looking through a rack of T-Shirts with dull eyes and Castiel took a moment to compose himself...he just felt so sorry for the kid.  
  
"So have you seen anything that you would like Dean?" Castiel asked once he had managed to control his emotions enough to speak with betraying any emotion. Dean's eyes darted up to meet his for only a moment before he looked away again and gestured half-heartedly to a small pile of clothing sitting on a bench at the side of the aisle.  
  
"Those'll do me." Dean said in a clipped once and Castiel slowly walked up behind him, looking over his shoulder at the T-Shirt in his hands. Castiel recognised the Led Zeppelin logo on the front and smiled, knowing that they were one of Dean's favourite bands and reaching out to take it from him. The Angel's sharp eyes caught the price and although it was much higher than an average T-Shirt - being a branded logo from a well known musical act - but Castiel knew that the boy really wanted the shirt and he was willing to do anything to make Dean smile.  
  
"You know, Dean, you are allowed to have anything you wish...you are allowed to be happy." Castiel said, choosing his words carefully to avoid the child have an adult sized meltdown. Thankfully Dean simply shrugged his shoulders and continued to browse through the clothing, with Castiel following slowly behind him with the boys purchases in his arms. Dean eventually found another shirt that he liked and this time he looked at Castiel from the corner of his eye before handing it over to him. Things got a little better as Dean started to shop, and Castiel allowed him to adjust slowly with little talk so as not to spook him. He knew that right now Dean didn't need talk, and he didn't need praise...he needed time to adjust and to learn that no one was going to pull this away from him. It was real.  
  
Once they had finally walked the full length of the store, Dean had successfully picked out a fair amount of new clothes - including several pairs of Jeans, T-Shirts, Hooded Tops, Socks and (in one of the most embarrassing moments of his life) Boxer Shorts. The boy had a nervous smile on his face as they searched for Gabriel and Sam, whom they found searching through a shelf of shirts. Castiel started to discuss with Gabriel what their options were after they had paid for the clothing and were ready to leave the store, but Dean missed every word of it when he spotted a shirt and jeans combo on a shelf not too far away. The boy checked that none of the family were watching before he walked over and checked it out a little closer, finally smiling and signalling to Sammy to come over. The younger child looked confused but silently gave his Angel the slip to go over to his Brother, whom was holding a bundle of clothes in his arms and grinning like an idiot.  
  
"What are you doing Dean? Those clothes are too big for you now." Sam said, stating the obvious as usual but Dean just handed them over to the boy with a roll of his eyes.  
  
"Well yeah, but they ain't for me are they! Look don't ask me questions right now just get back over there and slip these in under your pile so that Cas doesn't see them, then I want you to get Cas to take you to the bathroom..."  
  
"I don't need him taking me to the bathroom!" Sam said with a pout. "Besides I don't gotta go..." He added quietly, much to Dean's amusement.  
  
"It doesn't matter if you gotta go or not you just gotta pretend you do so that I can talk to Gabe alone for awhile." Dean explained, a little confused when Sam suddenly looked annoyed.  
  
"Why you wanna talk to Gabe?" Sam added with a huff and Dean eyed his little Brother carefully before an evil grin slowly spread over his face.  
  
"Aww whats the matter, Sammy...you scared I might steal your Angel away? You jealous little Brother?" Dean teased and Sam scowled at him, looking like an angry puppy.  
  
"M' not jealous!" Sam mumbled to himself and Dean laughed, giving Sam a light push towards the talking Angels.  
  
"Look just do what I say okay, I'll explain it later no time now...Trust me?" Dean asked, holding out his hand with his palm up much to Sam's astonishment. The boy eyed him carefully before placing his hand over Deans and sliding his palm over his Brothers, a smile creeping onto his face. They hadn't done that in years. With one last glance back Sam made his way back to Castiel and Gabriel, unnoticed by either of them as he snuck the new clothes in under his pile of T-Shirts. Once that was done Dean watched as Sam tugged on Castiel's sleeve and asked him something, to which Castiel nodded and took his hand, walking away with a smile at Gabriel. The Archangel watched them go and then looked around, a small frown touching his lips when he couldn't find Dean but his face cleared when Dean appeared in his sights once again. Dean had a strange grin on his face as he approached Gabriel and the Archangel couldn't help but wonder what the boy had up his sleeve.  
  
"Whats got you grinning, Deano?" Gabriel asked as Dean walked up beside him and pulled back the clothes from the pile, revealing his additions to the horde. The Archangel's eyes flicked between the Jeans/Shirt combo to the grinning boy and slowly a smirk spread over his face.  
  
"I think its about time Cas lost the Holy Tax Accountant look, don't you?"  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
By the time Cas got back with Sam the Angel looked frustrated and ready for snapping at the boy, who was biting his lip and looking up at Cas with big sad eyes.  
  
"I really thought I had to go..." Sam said for the thousandth time and Cas - who couldn't quite stay mad at the boy when he looked so sad - finally smiled down at him and took his hand.  
  
"Its okay, Sam, no harm done. But next time please be sure that you aim correctly...had I not been there that could have been a really bad mess." Cas explained before looking around for Gabriel, whom he found already at the check-out with Dean. The pair were wearing identical smirks as they eyed Castiel and it made the Angel nervous. They were planning something.  
  
"What is that look for?" Cas asked his Brother but Gabriel just quircked his eyebrow at Castiel and patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"All in good time, Brother! All in good time. Now how about some lunch huh guys, I'm starving!" The Archangel suggested much to the delight of both boys who started jumping up and down excitedly as the group left the shop with their purchases. Castiel was still very curious as to what Gabe was planning, but since it seemed that Dean was in on it the Angel assumed it couldn't be that bad...well not all bad at any rate.  
  
Once they had picked a place to eat - some lovely little cafe area that served burgers AND Ice Cream - Gabriel pulled out a shopping bag with some clothes in it and pushed it over to Castiel.  
  
"That boys got you a little something to wear, Cassie..." Gabriel said as Castiel slowly pulled out the clothes and smiled down at them, fingers smoothing gently over the fabric. He turned to look at both boys, lost for words...this shopping trip was meant to be about them and they had taken the time to pick out something special for him to wear also. Castiel couldn't help but feel extremely lucky to have such wonderful boys in his life, and Gabriel to of course.  
  
"I...I do not know what to say..." Castiel said and Gabriel rolled his eyes at his overly emotional little Brother.  
  
"Don't say anything, Bro, just go put it on and let us see how it fits! Go on!" Gabriel ordered, gesturing to the bathroom on the other side of the dining area. Castiel smiled at his Family and took the bag, heading off to change his clothes for the first time in a long time. The boys and Gabriel waited impatiently for him to return, and Gabe ordered their lunch from the sour faced waitress without a second look in her direction. His eyes were pinned to the bathroom door waiting on his Brother reappearing.  
  
When he finally made it back out the whole table went silent as they stared at Cas with open awe. The jeans that Dean had picked out were not very tight but they framed his long legs perfectly and clung to his hips, sitting low enough to show a peek of his gorgeous flat stomach and sharp hip bones every time he moved and the plaid shirt he wore rode up ever so slightly. He had his Trenchcoat slung over his arm and he made straight for their table, missing the lustful look he got from the waitress as she walked behind him with their food. Dean saw how her eyes roamed over Cas' ass with open longing and something fierce roared in his chest as he watched her, a scowl crossing his face as she reached them and placed their plates down on the table.  
  
"Woah Cas, looking good baby bro!" Gabriel said with a grin and Sam nodded along, reaching over to Cas as the Angel sat down and patting down a rumple on his shirt.  
  
"Yeah Cas you look really good, much better than that old suit!" Sam said, agreeing with Gabriel but when everyone looked towards Dean they noticed that he wasn't even looking in Cas' direction. His eyes were locked to the waitress and not with his usual heartbreaker grin...he looked furious.  
  
"I totally agree with your kids, Sir, you look amazing in that shirt..." The girl said, her eyes exploring the Angel's chest and her tongue poking out just slightly to wet her lips.  
  
"Why thank you...Tina..." Cas said as he read her name tag, the Angel oblivious to her flirting and more interested in the burger that was sitting waiting for him, but the dumb girl just wouldn't quit and she leaned in close to the Angel, pushing out her chest and batting her eyelashes at him.  
  
"Your wife is one lucky Lady to have a man like you..." She said, making a show of wiping off the table around him slowly so she had time to talk. Cas smiled politely at her but his confusion was starting to show.  
  
"I do not have a wife..." Cas explained and Tina's face lit up, but she put a hand over her mouth and feigned embarrassment.  
  
"Oh I apologise, I just thought...oh well, more for me..." She said with a giggle and Dean's temper finally broke. The boy was fuming as he got out of his seat and wandered around the table, pushing himself between Tina and Cas with a smirk for her that Cas missed because the boy's back was to him. Slowly, Dean backed up until he was pressed against the Angel and he pushed himself up until he was sitting in Cas' lap, his back against the Angel's chest. He turned his head to smile up at him and said in his softest voice.  
  
"Daddy, why is this girl talking so much..." Dean asked, stunning Sam and Gabe into silence as they watched in disbelief. Sam had never heard the word 'Daddy' come out of Dean's mouth even when they were children, and it was equals parts funny and horrifying to hear it now. The Waitress looked like she wanted to start shouting but the words were caught and she didn't know what to say.  
  
"Dean! What are you doing?" Castiel asked in a hushed voice, voice tense and stiff as he found himself with a lapful of Dean and a very annoyed Waitress watching him.  
  
"Make her go away, Daddy! I don't like her!"  
  
"Dean Winchester! That is not a very nice thing to say!" Castiel snapped, shocked at the boy and his sudden outburst but as he turned to apologise he found the Waitress was already storming away from their table, muttering about 'obnoxious brats' and Castiel turned his furious eyes on Dean. "You and I will be discussing this further when we get Home, Dean! I am very surprised at you!" Castiel said lowly before pushing Dean off his lap turning his attention to his burger. Dean stamped back to his chair and threw himself into it, huffing grumpily and stabbing at his fries with his fork as Sam and Gabe exchanged puzzled looks.  
  
What the Hell just happened?


	7. Toy Store Mania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family finally gets their visit to the toy store and more insanity ensues, but after a long day of shopping and fighting the boys are feeling a little tuckered out. Thank goodness they have their Angels to tuck them into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I updated this not so long ago and I havent updated my others but for some horrible reason I am suffering terrible writers block on my other stories and this was literally the only one I could write without wanting to set myself on fire. I hope you guys like it and please leave me a little comment if you have time, I could use the encouragement right now. I wont go into detail but I had someone be pretty mean about my work a few days ago and since then writing has been increasingly difficult for me...

  
Sam was practically bouncing off the walls by the time they reached the Toy Store, and poor Gabriel was the one who had to deal with him - not that the Archangel was complaining. Castiel had to roll his eyes as he watched his elder Brother running off into the distance with a squealing Sam thrown over his shoulders, the pair off in search of the stuffed toys, leaving Cas alone with Dean who had not stopped pouting since they left the food court. The Angel had taken the boy's hand and warned him to stay by his side for the remainder of the trip, which meant that Dean was not only angry but humiliated also. People kept staring at him and some Mothers with their children had even spoken with Castiel at length about the 'difficulties of raising boys'...it was getting on Dean's nerves.  
  
"Would you care to explain what that little outburst was all about, Dean? That young woman did not deserve your sass." Castiel asked and Dean huffed, shrugging his shoulders. "You are not willing to talk to me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"It would serve you well to not take that tone with me, Dean. I do not appreciate it..."  
  
"So..."  
  
"One more catty remark and I will take you back to the car and you will sit there in silence while Sam finishes his day out. I am not playing around with you, Dean!" Castiel barked, finally silencing the boy beside him and forcing down the urge to apologise for shouting at him. If there was one thing Castiel had learnt from this experience so far it was that being a parent was difficult, and one of the most challenging things was not giving in to the boys demands. Sam had been reasonably easy so far and that meant that a treat like this was acceptable but Dean was pushing at him constantly and that made it harder to deal with him. But the Angel had promised himself one thing...no matter how much he pushed Castiel would not put his hands on him. Physical punishments were out of the question, and he suspected that the reason Dean was pushing so much was to see if Cas would do it or if he would honor his word and keep spankings out of it. He knew that Dean was having a hard time adjusting to this situation and he was waiting for the proverbial rug to be pulled from under his feet but Castiel was refusing to allow it - he would never hurt his friend, not if his life depended on it.  
  
Dean was keeping his eyes on his feet and refusing to look at Cas, but the slump of his shoulders told the Angel that the boy was done fighting him...for the moment.  
  
"I can see you are not ready to talk about it right now but when we get home we will be discussing it at length. Whatever it is that has upset you Dean, whatever the reason was that you lashed out at the Waitress I will listen to openly...that does not mean you will avoid punishment for it, but I promise to listen to you. Now we will put it aside for the moment and go find our Brothers, I would like for you both to pick out some new toys for your bedroom." Cas said, turning to look around the many aisle for any sign of Gabriel but he was stopped when Dean tugged on his hand, pulling him back around.  
  
"I can still get a toy?" Dean asked, his eyes wide and unbelieving.  
  
"Yes of course, Dean. I did not appreciate the scene you made earlier but I would not have brought you in here if I did not intend to allow you to buy something. That would not have been right." Castiel explained to Dean before looking over the boys head and smiling as he spotted Gabriel and Sam in the distance. He started walking towards them, Dean trailing behind as he tried to process what Cas had said. If this had been John he'd never have been allowed...no, if this had been John they would never have BEEN here. There was no way their Father would have wasted money on toys for either of them, whether they had behaved or not, and now that he thought it over he started to feel really bad. The waitress had really annoyed him, and he had felt a horrible surge of jealousy when he saw the way she was leaning into Castiel and trying to catch his attention, but maybe he shouldn't have reacted the way he did. He was still trying to work out how he felt when they reached Gabe and Sam, who were deep in discussion about what was better - the big grey dolphin or the little yellow bee.  
  
"But the dolphin is awesome! Dolphins are way cooler than silly old bees! Cas would you please tell Gabe dolphins are cooler than bees!" Sam whined dramatically, holding up the big dolphin stuffed toy to Cas but the Angel only had eyes for the bee which was sitting on the shelf.  
  
"Sam, bees are amazing creatures, without them the plants wouldn't grow and life on this planet would not function correctly. They are most certainly cooler than Dolphins." Castiel rambled on, missing the bored look that passed between Sam and Gabe, and the way the Archangel feigned a yawn and pretended to fall asleep much to Sam's amusement. Dean wasn't so amused and kicked his little Brother behind Cas' back, glaring at him and taking the bee off the shelf.  
  
"I think you should get the bee, Sam. Its totally better than Dolphins. Dolphins are a girls toy!" Dean said, smirking when Sam scrunched up his face.  
  
"They are not!" Sam yelled but Dean snatched the toy from him and held it above his head.  
  
"They are to, but its cool Sam...you are a girl, remember?" Dean taunted, yelling in surprise when Sam tackled him to the ground and snatched the toy back, whacking him around the head with it.  
  
"I.Am.Not.A.Girl!!" Sam bellowed, still trying to attack his Brother even as Gabriel grabbed him around the middle and lifted him up and away.  
  
"Sam and Dean Winchester! This is not the kind of behaviour I expected from either of you!" Gabriel barked, stunning everyone by being the one shouting for a change. Castiel stood back and watched in awe as his Brother took both boys by the arm and walked them some distance away until they came to a small bench, pushing them both down to sit on it and standing back with his arms crossed.  
  
"But Gabe! It wasn't me!"  
  
"This is so not fair!"  
  
"I don't want to hear it!" Gabriel said, holding his hand up for silence. "Sam you have been so well behaved all day, I did not expect you to act out like that! And Dean? After every chance that Castiel has given you today you still choose to tease your Brother until he lashes out? Are you asking to be grounded, because that is where you are headed, both of you!" Gabriel ranted, staring both boys down until they lowered their eyes, all the fight going out of them. "Now you are going to sit there and think about what you did, and when your time is up you had better be ready to apologise or so help me Father I will pack you both back into the car and take you home right now, do you understand me?" The Archangel asked them, turning away and walking back to Castiel when they nodded in understanding. Cas was standing completely still and staring at his Brother with a strange smile on his face.  
  
"What?!" Gabriel barked and Castiel grinned at him strangely.  
  
"I just never expected to see you being the 'bad cop'..." Cas said, quirking his fingers in air quotes and laughing when Gabriel snorted, holding a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound from the boys. When five minutes had passed Gabriel cleared his throat, fighting down the laughter as he walked back to the boys and stared down at them.  
  
"Dean do you have something you want to say to Sam?" Gabriel asked and Dean mumbled an apology to his little Brother, playing with his hands in his lap. The Archangel smiled and thanked Dean before turning on Sam who was sitting with his arms crossed, still looking very upset. "Sam...anything to say to Dean?"  
  
"Why do I gotta apologise I didn't do anything!" Sam snivelled, fighting down tears as Gabriel held his gaze and finally he murmured to Dean. "I'm sorry, Dee..." The boy sniffed and Dean shuffled over to his little Brother, wrapping an arm around him. Gabriel smiled at them both and waited until they had hugged it out before speaking again.  
  
"Thats good, Boys, I am really proud of you. Now how about you go and pick out some more toys to play with and then we can get home?" Gabriel suggested and Dean took Sam by the hand, the pair running off down one of the aisles and off into the distance. Castiel walked up behind Gabe and placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling down at him.  
  
"Thank you for handling that, Gabe...I don't think I could deal with much more of their shenanigans today." Castiel chuckled but before Gabriel could answer someone tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to find a much older woman smiling at him.  
  
"Young man, I just wanted to say that I saw how you dealt with those boys and I was very impressed...I keep telling people that you kind of boys can keep kids just as easily as a normal couple. Good for you!" She said and without another word she turned and walked away, leaving both Angels stunned and staring at her retreating back. It was several minutes of shocked silence - Gabriel pointing towards her and then looking at Cas, one eyebrow raised in question - before both burst into bouts of hysterical laughter at what they had just heard. By the time they had managed to calm down a solid fifteen minutes had passed and they heard the boys calling to them in the distance. Gabriel wiped the tears from his eyes and stepped to the side, one arm sweeping out dramatically to motion Castiel ahead of him.  
  
"After you, my love?" Gabriel asked, waggling his eyebrows at his brother who rolled his eyes and took the lead.  
  
"Why thank you...dear." Castiel answered, batting his eyes at Gabe from over his shoulder as he made his way towards their boys.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
Between both Sam and Dean the boys had managed to fill up an entire shopping cat easily, and by the time they reached the check out they had managed to pick out several stuffed toys - the dolphin and bee sitting proud on top of the massive horde - a large pile of DVDs, many different kinds of board games and some decorative touches for their rooms. Dean had picked out some really awesome bed sheets with cowboys on them, whereas Sam favoured the Space themed sheets. Sam had taken a liking to a collection of Dinosaur toys, and they were in the cart alongside Dean's bucket of Army men. Both boys had gotten very excited and begged their Angel's until they had been allowed to take home the Tool Bench Play Set, and Dean had slipped a toy Kitchen set underneath it with a small look at Castiel which understood to mean 'please don't tell Sam'. Castiel had never understood why boys were only expected to play with certain toys and he planned to show Dean just how simple it was to play with what he termed 'girls toys' later on tonight, but for now he was happy to keep quiet for the sake of Dean's sanity.  
  
As they ran each of the items through the check-out where the smiling woman kept giggling at Sam and Dean who were running up and down the aisle playing cowboys, Castiel felt a little proud that he was providing toys for his boys. He looked up as the two ran by him again and he couldn't help but smile as he listened to them play, carefree and happy for the first time in a long time...all because of him...  
  
"Get your little butts back here, varmints!" Gabriel yelled as he galloped by Cas on a pretend horse, yipping and yaying to the amusement of all around them. Cas rolled his eyes at his Brothers foolishness but he couldn't keep the grin from his face as he watched his Family having fun.  
  
"You guys are super cute! You're a lucky man..." The clerk said and Castiel turned to smile at her, handing over the card for her to swipe.  
  
"He is my Brother, he is helping me out with the boys..." Castiel explained as he packed up the bags with the help of the young woman.  
  
"Oh!" She said, covering her mouth with an embarrassed look. "I am sorry I thought you were..."  
  
"I am and he...well...I believe the term is 'if it moves'?" Castiel said, smiling as the girl laughed at his joke and handed him back his card. "He is a good Brother though..." The Angel turned to watch as Gabriel was shot down by Dean wielding a small plastic colt and wearing a cowboy hat.  
  
"And a wonderful Uncle it would seem..." She said and he nodded, gathering up the bags and giving her a small smile before he left.  
  
"Come on boys, lets go home! You two Gabe!" Castiel said, giving the Archangel on the floor a light kick as he walked by, laughing and dodging out of the way when Gabriel tried to grab his leg.  
  
By the time they made it back to the car, both boys were hiding yawns behind their hands and the sun was slipping down behind the clouds, throwing the world into a soft evening light. Castiel and Gabriel lifted both the kids into their seats and buckled them in, Sam out like a light by the time Gabe finished fastening him in and Dean following quickly after him. When both Angels took their seats in the front they looked over their shoulders at the youngsters in the back. Sam was lounging to one side with his thumb in his mouth, suckling softly on it, and Dean was slumped forward and snoring gently, his body rising and falling slowly in sleep. The atmosphere was calm in the car and as Castiel fired up the engine he took great care to steer the car slowly and gently, while Gabriel focused all his Grace on keeping the boys from feeling any jolts or bumps - neither Angel nor Archangel wanted to do anything to wake them up now, they looked so peaceful in their sleep.  
  
"We can leave the research for tomorrow right? I mean..." Gabriel said as he watched Sam mumbling in his sleep. "No rush, right?"  
  
"No Gabriel...There is no rush at all." Castiel answered with a small smile as he watched Dean roll to the side and slip his own thumb into his mouth, a contented smile on his lips.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
If it wasn't for Angelic strength, Gabe wasn't sure how the hell they would have gotten both Sam and Dean out of the car never mind up the stairs and into their beds, but they managed it somehow. Castiel had Dean curled up in his arms, and Gabriel was holding Sam damn near draped over his shoulder, but thankfully neither boy woke up. Dean mumbled in his sleep about god damn witches, and Sam told Gabriel that he didn't want a pony ride, but other than that they snored all the way from the car to their beds.  
  
"Weren't you supposed to be 'talking' to Dean when you got him home?" Gabriel joked as Cas stripped Dean down and redressed him in his pajamas.  
  
"I will talk to him tomorrow after breakfast, I don't wish to wake him now...he is far too tired after our long day." Castiel said, laying Dean down and pulling the blanket over him.  
  
"Yeah...and way too cute when he is asleep!" The Archangel smirked as he watched his younger Brother gently stroking the hair out of Dean's eyes.  
  
"Oh quiet Gabe!" Castiel snapped, getting up from Dean's bed and walking around to Sam. He helped Gabriel with Sammy and when the boy was tucked up as securely as his Brother the two Angels left the room as quietly as possible, leaving the door ajar only a small bit so they could hear if either woke during the night.  
  
"Its so strange..." Castiel thought to himself and huffed when Gabriel answered him aloud.  
  
"What is?" The annoying Angel said, loudly enough to draw a cough and groan from behind the bedroom door. When he was sure that no one had woken up Castiel turned on his Brother with a slight frown.  
  
"I didn't think it was possible to love someone this much..." Castiel explained and Gabriel smiled at him, reaching up to place a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"It gets better, Brother...Trust me..." Gabriel said and without another word he made his way down the stairs, followed closely by Castiel.  



	8. Talk To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wakes Dean up and sees more than he'd like to see when he finds out that Dean had been 'enjoying' his dreams the night before. Gabriel takes the time to talk to Dean about how he is feeling and the family enjoy a stunning breakfast made all by Dean and Castiel. Dean learns a little about how Angel's work and the day gets off to a great start...

When Sam awoke the next morning the sun was shining through the window onto his face and he smiled with the knowledge that he was safe in bed and could take his time getting up - not that he wanted to lounge in bed all day, after all he had a whole ton of new toys to play with after yesterdays shopping day. No training, no fear, just a whole day where he and his family could do whatever they wanted! The boy couldn't remember a day when he had felt so carefree and wonderful, and it was all thanks to Gabriel. A blush tinged his cheeks when he thought about the Archangel and he felt a warm tingling in his tummy, the tell-tale signs of the crush that had been growing in him for years but was only now making its presence known...and speaking of unspoken crushes...  
  
Sam rolled onto his side and smiled over at his Brother who was fast asleep in his own bed, rolled up in a fort of blankets and pillows which he had tucked around himself, making him look like a caterpillar in his own little cocoon of warmth. There was a contented smile on Dean's face, and Sam mused that he hadn't seen his Brother look that way not once in his whole life. It was a good feeling knowing that his happiness didn't come at the expense of Dean's and he could enjoy these moments without worrying that his Brother was going to be okay. Now if only he could get Dean to admit his huge crush on Castiel then maybe everything would be alright with the world, because damn it if he had to sit through one more day of Dean and Cas' smooshy heart eyes he'd have to resort to drastic measures a.k.a Gabriel.  
  
The boy finally stretched out in his bed, shaking the last of the sleep from his limbs, and slid out from beneath the covers. He took a moment to let his feet adjust to the colder temperature of the floor before standing up and making his way over to Dean's bed where the boy was still snoring softly. Sam giggled at the noises his Brother was making and reached out to give him a shake, but Dean's arm shot out from under the blankets and he swatted his annoying little Brother away, mumbling nonsense in his half sleep state.  
  
"Dee...come on, get up! Its morning!" Sam said, finally climbing up onto the bed and sitting atop of Dean so he could get a better shot at shaking him awake.  
  
"G'away Sammy..." Dean mumbled, disappearing under the blankets completely much to Sam's annoyance and the boy slid off the bed again before taking a hold of the sheets and yanking at them hard. The sleeping boy grumbled and gripped the sheets, holding them tightly so Sam couldn't pull them off him but after several minutes of tug-o-way Sam managed to dislodge them completely, stumbling backwards and pulling them on top of himself in the process. The bumps and bangs from their play fighting had alerted the Angels and within a minute they appeared in the room, Gabriel yelping when he saw Sammy on the floor struggling to pull himself free of Dean's bedding while Castiel stared in confusion at Dean who was just coming around properly.  
  
"What the h...heck, Sam! I was comfy...why are you staring at me?" Dean mumbled, looking up at Castiel who seemed to blush slightly as he turned his face away.  
  
"Dean perhaps you would like to go to the bathroom and clean yourself off?" Castiel asked and when Gabriel had finally disentangled Sam from the sheets the boy looked up at his Brother and pulled a face.  
  
"Ew Dean, come on!" Sam whined and Gabriel clipped the boy on the back of the head lightly, frowning at him when Sam looked up at him with hurt and shock in his eyes.  
  
"Sam! Thats enough! Come downstairs and leave your Brother alone!" Gabriel snapped, taking Sam's hand and pulling him out of the room much to Dean's confusion. As the last of the sleep left his body he started to realise that he felt a little uncomfortable, and there was a strange warm wetness somewhere around his midsection. His face fell as the realisation hit him and slowly he looked down at the space between his legs...where the front of his boxers were damp and stained with...  
  
Dean remembered with horror the dream he had been having the night before, how good it had made him feel and only now he knew that his body had been enjoying it to without his knowledge. If Sam hadn't been so ready to get him out of bed he might have been able to hide it but now he lay bared to the Angel's scorn and completely unable to pretend it hadn't happened.  
  
"Oh God..." Dean whimpered softly, fighting humiliated tears as he scrambled out of bed and ran for the bathroom, avoiding Castiel's concerned gaze.  
  
"Dean!" Castiel called to him as he made it into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him, sliding down the backside of the door until his butt hit the floor. He buried his face into his knees and wrapped his arms around himself, wishing he could block out the voice of the Angel on the other side of the door.  
  
"Leave me alone!" Dean yelled as the tears finally began to fall, and he sat crying to himself as Castiel tapped lightly on the door behind him.  
  
"Dean...Sweetheart please listen to me, if you won't open the door at least listen to me. This is not your fault, it's a normal thing for a teenage boy to experience...Just tell me what you need me to do." Castiel spoke softly to him, no anger or disgust in his voice but Dean bit his lip and turned to face the door.  
  
 _"Stop being so damn attractive, that would be a start!"_ "Dean thought to himself bitterly but he wouldn't speak those words aloud, something deep inside him would rather face a thousand humiliating wet dreams than lose his Angel. "Just leave me alone, Cas...I just want to be alone." The boy said, his voice barely above a whisper but he knew that Cas had heard him and he heard the retreating footsteps clear as day. Dean crumpled again and sobbed until he had calmed down a little more, and when he started to relax minutely he heard the sound of approaching footsteps once again. There where three knocks on the door and Dean rolled his eyes, glaring at the wood against his back. "Go away, Cas!" Dean barked but this time a different voice spoke back to him.  
  
"I don't want you using that disrespectful tone, Dean! Castiel was only trying to help...now would you please open the door so that I can talk to you face to face." Gabriel said, his voice only slightly annoyed but mostly concerned. Dean looked down at his stained clothing and shook his head, swiping a hand over his face to push the tears back once again.  
  
"I don't think I can..." The boy confessed softly and after a few minutes of silence Gabriel spoke again.  
  
"I know you feel like the world has caved in around you right now, Dean, but trust me if anyone knows what you are going through right now its me. Cas might seem like he doesn't know much about sexual things but he is not as innocent as he seems..." Gabriel explained and Dean groaned - he really didn't need those thoughts in his head right now. "I know, _you don't need to think about that right now_..." Gabriel said, the words only different enough to assure Dean the Archangel wasn't reading his mind but close enough to shock him. Was he so easily read? "Don't worry, Cas doesn't know...but I do and so does Sam and we both want to help you. I'd like to start by giving you some clean clothes and talking to you a bit. Would you please open the door?" Gabriel asked once again and this time Dean relented, getting sluggishly to his feet and turning to open the door for the sweet-faced Archangel.  
  
The pair stared at one another for a moment and finally Dean stepped aside, allowing Gabriel to make his way into the bathroom. When the Archangel was in Dean quickly closed the door again and leant against his, keeping his eyes trained on the floor for fear of looking into the mans eyes and finding disgust there but Gabriel was having none of it and he placed a finger under Dean's chin, gently tilting the boy's head up until he was looking at him.  
  
"Talk to me, big guy...what happened?" Gabriel asked and his voice was so gentle and understanding that Dean couldn't help but trust him.  
  
"I...I was having a dream..about...I couldn't help it!" Dean sobbed, his embarrassment taking hold of him once again, and he slid back down the door until he was sitting on the floor. Gabriel nodded and took a seat down beside him, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and pulling him up against him.  
  
"About Cas?" Gabriel asked and Dean could only nod, his words lost in his cries which Gabriel was muffling against his shirt. "I got news for you, kiddo, that ain't news...Even Sam knows you like him." Gabe explained and Dean looked up at him with horror, his question unasked. "Cas doesn't know, the big galoot is still oblivious. He wouldn't know a crush if it danced naked in front of him." The Archangel joked and Dean groaned, letting his head fall back onto Gabe's body as the man chuckled. "Sorry you probably don't need that image right now, but seriously Dean there are things you need to know. For one, he likes you to has done for Father knows how long now. Get this...he doesn't think he is worthy of you." Dean stared up at him in shock.  
  
"He what?!" Dean squeaked, unable to believe what he was hearing. "But he is like perfect, he is so cool and gorgeous and..." The boy suddenly realised he was rambling and his blush deepened. "He is awesome." Dean finished in a quiet voice.  
  
"Yeah he is that, hardly surprising really he was raised by the best." Gabriel said with pride, chuckling when Dean snorted, rolling his eyes. "Okay so maybe he is just awesome on his own but I gotta take some credit, I raised that Angel since he was smaller than Sammy. He was always a little rebel, but a kinder hearted Fledgling you have never known, and obsessed with Humans? You wouldn't believe! So it wasn't really surprising to anyone when he finally found one to fall in love with...I was just glad that person was you. You might not believe me Dean but you are a great guy and I would be proud to call you my Brother-In-Law. But first things first we gotta get you age appropriate okay? Till then I think the occasional 'incident' is totes fine...And I think after today Sam will be a little less willing to disturb you while you are sleeping so score one for you!" Gabriel said, his casual jokes finally getting to Dean who huffed a little laugh which pleased Gabe completely.  
  
"I feel a bit stupid now..." Dean mumbled and Gabriel sat him up, smiling at him.  
  
"You have nothing to feel stupid about, Dean. No one is gonna say anything..." Gabriel said but Dean didn't look convinced.  
  
"Sammy..." Dean said and Gabe smirked evilly.  
  
"I sat Sammy down and explained to him already that if he continues making fun of his Brother I wont be taking him to the bookstore later today." Gabe said and Dean pulled a breath in through his teeth, whistling softly.  
  
"Ouch, hitting the kid right where it hurts there Gabe!" Dean laughed and Gabriel stood up, pulling Dean to his feet with him. The Archangel took the small bundle of clothes he had brought with him and pushed them into Dean's hands with a smile.  
  
"I brought you these, get yourself a shower and then come down for breakfast...I'm making pancakes." Gabriel said and with that he was gone, leaving Dean feeling much lighter and happier than he had when he had woken up.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
When Dean reappeared downstairs after a long hot shower freshly dressed and looking much happier, the sight that greeted him had him grinning like a maniac. He didn't know how it had happened but Gabriel and Sam were hunched over the table laughing and Castiel was covered from head to toe in flower, glaring at his Brother and the mischievous younger Winchester.  
  
"Cas what the heck, man, what happened?" Dean asked, fighting his own laughter as the Angel turned on him.  
  
"I have an idiot for a Brother!" Cas snapped, turning back to Gabe with a glare when the Archangel snorted at him. "It's not funny, Gabriel! How do you expect me to get this out now?!"  
  
"Hey Cas, its cool just go take a shower or something..." Dean said, getting the feeling he was missing something that was passing between the two Angels. After a moment of pointed silence Gabriel snapped his fingers and Cas was all clean again but it did nothing to sooth the Angel's temper. Castiel seemed to come back to himself when Dean walked up beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle shake. "Cas...you okay?" Dean asked and Castiel turned to him, finally smiling again.  
  
"Yes, Dean I am okay thank you, just the downside of having siblings I suppose." Castiel said, running his hand through Dean's hair playfully.  
  
"Yeah, I hear that..." Dean muttered and Sam turned around to pout at him.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Anyway, you need a hand?" Dean asked, gesturing to the half filled mixing bowl on the counter beside Cas, and the Angel smiled with a nod, stepping aside to allow Dean at the ingredients.  
  
It took all of half an hour to work their way through the process but finally there were hot sweet pancakes making their way onto plates and the family were sitting down to breakfast. Castiel felt proud of himself all over again as he watched the boys tucking into their meal, and he carefully kept his eyes trained away from Gabe who was stuffing his mouth full of bite after bite with almost obscene eagerness.  
  
"Oh my Dad, Castiel, who knew you were such a good cook! See that boys, he takes after me..." Gabe said through a mouth full of pancake.  
  
"After you there isn't much left to take..." Dean mumbled and Castiel gave his hand a swat, but his eyes were full of mirth at the boys joke.  
  
"I can't take all the credit Gabriel, Dean is the master chef around here I merely helped." Castiel said, watching Dean's face light up at the compliment.  
  
Once it was all over Gabe gave a big stretch and flicked open the button on his jeans, sighing happily as he rubbed over his stomach.  
  
"If you are gonna be the chef around here from now on Dean I think I am gonna have to start wearing bigger pants, that was amazing. Kudos big guy!" Gabriel said before patting Sam on the shoulder. "Anyway, you gonna go get ready Sammich, its book store time!" Gabe cheered and Sam leapt up, running off out the door to go and fetch his coat and shoes. "What are you two planning for today?" Gabe asked and Dean shrugged, looking up at Castiel who looked a little fidgeting again.  
  
"I guess we'll just hang out here for a while, maybe set up the bedroom for Sam getting home...that okay with you Cas?" Dean asked and the Angel nodded, rolling his shoulders in an uncomfortable manner.  
  
"That sounds just fine to me but I must go for a shower when I have a moment, I believe I may still have some of that flour lodged in...places...Thanks for that Gabriel." Castiel groaned and Dean tilted his head in confusion, looking between the two Angels again. Gabriel just shrugged and grinned at his Brother.  
  
"Let me know how that works out for you...There you Sammy, you ready to go leave these two bores to their chores?" Gabriel asked and Sam whooped as he appeared in the doorway.  
  
"Yeah! Can we get the Harry Potters? Oh and some Dan Brown? Can we Gabe, can we?" Sam squealed excitedly, jumping up and down on the spot before Gabe took his hand and led him from the room, promising Sam could pick out as many books as he liked.  
  
The air in the kitchen was not as tense as Dean had expected and he finished his breakfast in peace with Castiel watching over him. When it was all done he smiled at the man.  
  
"So you wanna get started on that room?" Dean asked and Castiel thought about  it for a minute.  
  
"If it is all the same to you I would like to take my shower first, until I get all the flour out I am afraid I will not be much company." Castiel explained and Dean frowned, turning to face the Angel head on.  
  
"Cas what is going on, I thought Gabe got it all out for you..." Dean asked, curious as to what it was that was hurting the Angel so much.  
  
"I...much of it has become lodged in my...wings, and unfortunately Grace Cleansing will not work on those. It must be removed manually and my wings must be groomed otherwise it will stick and drive me crazy. It already itches like nothing else." Castiel said, finally letting his guard down a little and reaching behind him to the empty air. He carded his fingers through the air and winced a little. Dean watched curiously and waited to see if something would happen, but nothing did and he had to admit it disappointed him.  
  
"I guess I didn't realise they were actually back there, you know like really real wings..." Dean said, blushing a little at how silly his statement sounded.  
  
"I showed you their shadows in that barn when we met, but I have never revealed them to a human in their pure form. I, for obvious reasons, cannot show them as they are in Heaven but I can bring them out in this plain in a muted form, one that humans can perceive." Castiel explained.  
  
"Why haven't you done that before, there must have been someone you wanted to show them to, you're like how old?" Dean joked with a smirk.  
  
"I don't believe Humans have a number system large enough to properly date my age, but I was born in the springtime if that helps. Gabriel is fond of telling the story."  
  
"You guys are born?!" Dean said, a little shocked at the discovery.  
  
"Yes Dean, we are born and we grow. It is not exactly like your Human birth but it is similar in we have two parental Angels and one carries the combined Grace of them both inside itself until that new life is ready to survive on it's on." Castiel looked up at the clock and got to his feet. "I should get on with my shower if we wish to have any time to properly prepare your room, will you be okay on your own for a while?" Castiel asked and Dean rolled his eyes with a smile.  
  
"Yeah I think I can entertain myself for a while, I'll see whats on TV...Gabriel has Netflix right?!" Dean asked, worried that the answer might be no but Castiel fixed him with a strange look.  
  
"You think I would have agreed to move in if he didn't?" Cas joked before leaving Dean sitting at the table laughing at his retreating back.  
  
"Netflix junkie!" The boy called after him and a smile tinged Cas lips as he wondered to himself;  
  
 _I wonder how he'll react when he finds out Gabriel turned on the Parental Control._


	9. U-Rated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean spend some time relaxing and watching Netflix while Gabriel and Sam go shopping for books to fill their new bookshelf. After a nice shower, Cas needs some help grooming his wings after Gabriel's antics and Dean offers to help, turning the Angel into a puddle of contented moosh!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to Nerdling_Queen for playing Beta to this chapter, hopefully the start of a wonderful arrangement! Thanks hun! x

Dean was not mad when he found out that Gabriel had rigged the Netflix so that he could only get kiddies movies - he was pissed!  
  
He contemplated calling Castiel back downstairs and demanding that he fix it so he could watch some Dr Sexy, but even without the Angel present Dean could hear his gruff voice echoing in his head.  
  
"Gabriel sets the rules for the television, Dean, and you will abide by them..." The invisible Angel growled in his head and Dean threw himself dramatically down on the sofa, flicking through the movie selection until he finally settled on The Lion King. Despite having raised Sammy without the help of his father, neither of the boys had spent much time watching Disney movies. John Winchester thought they were for girls and Dean had it drilled into him at an early age that it was a waste of time, so by the time Sam was a little older Dean was set in his ways and they would just watch whatever happened to be on the TV at the time. Still, despite his learned aversion to all things Disney, Dean couldn't help but feel a little rush as the opening credits rolled and the sun rose over the plains of Africa - at least he assumed it was meant to be Africa.  
  
As the movie progressed into the storyline, Dean found himself being sucked in and he hadn't realised that he was gasping and giggling along with the story like a little kid. He was so enthralled by it in fact that he didn't even realise that Castiel had finished his shower and came downstairs. The Angel was now standing in the doorway wearing only a baggy pair of sweats, and he was holding a towel which he was using to dry off his bare chest as he watched his little Dean enjoying his movie. Castiel watched along with him until he couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer.  
  
"They are aware that no bird would last long in the presence of a Lion, correct?" Castiel spoke and Dean jumped, startled by the sound of the Angels voice. He turned and allowed his eyes to trail over the shirtless man before they returned to his face with a slight blush on his cheeks.  
  
"It's just a movie, Cas, it's made up stories for children." Dean explained. "What's with the Pin-Up look?" The boy asked, indicating Cas' partial nakedness. The Angel frowned as he rolled his shoulders.  
  
"It would appear that this vessel was not quite as flexible as I had first thought...I was able to soak my wings under Gabriel's shower but I could not reach back far enough to groom them properly," Castiel said. Dean grimaced slightly at the Angel's obvious discomfort.  
  
"Aw man, that sucks, sorry...what are you gonna do?" Dean asked and Castiel walked forward, taking a seat on the sofa beside him and fixing his eyes on the screen.  
  
"I shall just have to wait until Gabriel and Sam come home and then ask for Gabriel's assistance with them..." Castiel said, his face darkening. He was clearly not happy with the situation but there was nothing else that could be done. Dean felt a sudden uncomfortable surge of jealousy at the thought of Gabriel playing with Castiel's wings and he shuffled closer to the Angel beside him.  
  
"Couldn't I...well..." Dean mumbled, raising his hand and wiggling his fingers. Castiel looked around at Dean and his expression was curious, not angry as Dean had expected. An Angel's wings were a sensitive issue, that much he knew from the lore he had read and was no doubt the reason why Castiel never exposed them but still...  
  
"I suppose yes you could assistant me with their cleaning...but I would not wish to 'put you out' as you say..." Castiel spoke slowly and Dean smiled, moving closer again.  
  
"It's no trouble, Cas, what are friends for...Here, sit on the floor, legs crossed." Dean instructed and for once Castiel obeyed without question, trusting the boy's judgement on the matter. He took his place between Dean's legs, facing towards the TV and settling down to watch the movie.  
  
"Eh Cas...you kinda gotta let me see them, big guy..." Dean chuckled and Castiel blushed a little, the tinge on his cheeks unseen by the boy behind him.  
  
"My apologies," the Angel muttered and with a flutter Dean found himself with a face full of ebony black feathers. The boy spluttered and coughed as he attempted to untangle himself from the great appendages and from somewhere in front of him he heard the Angel chuckle.  
  
"Oh very frea...very funny, Cas! Would you help me here?!" Dean barked and finally Castiel maneuvered his wings until they were spread out behind him, stretched before Dean and waiting for him to start. The boy took a moment to admire the frankly beautiful wings and he couldn't quite believe that he was being allowed to touch them...it seemed so trusting and he hoped he would not do anything to harm the Angel.  
  
"Dean..." Castiel asked, looking over his shoulder at the boy who shook himself from his thoughts and smiled at his friend.  
  
"Just forming a plan in my head, Cas..." Dean explained and the Angel nodded, turning back to the television.  
  
"I suggest you start at the centre of my back where they start and work your way outwards towards the tips. There is a small gland hidden amongst the feathers, if you work it between your fingers it will leak an oily substance, that's for after you are done cleaning." Castiel spoke softly, a small shiver running through him as he felt Dean's fingertips stroking up his spine and finally into his feathers. It had been a long time since Cas had trusted anyone to really groom him and Dean's touch was a soothing balm on his Grace and within minutes he was loose and pliant in the boys hands. Dean worked at a steady pace, allowing instinct to take over as he worked out any dust and debris he found and straightened the feathers which were out at odd angles. He found the work to be soothing and he smiled when he noticed that Castiel had slumped a little, his breathing relaxed and even as he worked on him.  
  
The movie went on quietly in the background as the pair sat together. When Dean was finally done cleaning and every feather was sitting perfect again, he reached through the wings until he found the little gland that Cas had told him about. Cas gasped a little when he stroked his fingers over it and Dean pulled back sharply, watching Castiel's reaction with fear.  
  
"Crap, I didn't hurt you did I?" Dean asked fearfully but Castiel shook his head and smiled around at him apologetically.  
  
"No its just...I haven't had a grooming in a long time and I forgot how sensitive that gland is...you startled me is all. I apologise for my reaction." Castiel explained and Dean grinned, reaching back to work the gland between his fingers again and chuckling when Cas bit his lip to keep his noise in check. When Dean pulled his hand back it was coated in a slick substance which smelled like...  
  
"Lavender..." Dean muttered, and Castiel didn't dare to believe he had heard it but he had no time to react before Dean was working his feathers through again. He spread the oil through with expert precision and Cas couldn't help but roll his head back at the pleasure coursing through him. Humans might liken the experience to a really good message, and it easily worked out every stress and worry he had been carrying on his shoulders. When Dean deemed that every single square inch of Castiel's wings had been groomed to a high standard he leaned down and placed a kiss on the skin between his shoulder blades.  
  
"All done!" Dean said and Castiel slumped back against the sofa, tilting his head back so he could look up at Dean. The Angel wore a dopey grin on his face and Dean could help but reach down to stroke the hair from his face with a contented smile.  
  
"Thank you so much, Dean. You cannot know how good it feels to have your wings cleaned." Castiel sighed happily and stretched out. He was happy to remain exactly where he was with Dean stroking his hair absent-mindedly. The pair remained there for the next hour watching the movie together, not speaking but not having to speak to be comfortable. Dean couldn't remember a time in his life when he had felt this good, and he hoped that it would never end.  
  
"BUENOS DIAS, BITCHES!"  
  
Dean sighed and looked down at Castiel who was glaring at the door.  
  
"DO NOT SWEAR GABRIEL!" Castiel yelled out the door at his playful Brother and Dean couldn't help but grin a little as the pair started to bicker amongst themselves.  
  
Turns out even arguments could make him smile. Life was good.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
Sam talked their ears off for hours about all the cool books he and Gabe had bought together while at the store, and the whole family spent the rest of the day organising the boys bedroom for them. It was a task that Gabriel moaned over because Castiel and Dean were supposed to have done it already.  
  
"What the Hell were you two doing all morning?!" Gabriel griped and both Dean and Castiel shared a secret smile that Gabriel missed when Sam pulled all the books he had just jammed into the bookshelf back out onto the floor. "Hey! I just organised that you little butt!" Gabe moaned and Sam rolled his eyes at the Archangel's antics.  
  
"You call that organising?!" Sam laughed and Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.  
  
"They were on the damn shelf weren't they?" Gabriel said and Sam shook his head, sighing heavily before starting to arrange the books neatly together.  
  
"You got to sort them by size so they look nice and neat!" Sam explained and Gabriel looked over at Dean with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Hey, don't look at me he was always a little weirdo...OW!" Dean yelled when Castiel clipped him gently on the ear. "Hey, no fair! What did I do?" The boy mumbled at a stern-faced Castiel.  
  
"Do not call your Brother names, Dean!" Castiel scolded him, missing Sam who stuck his tongue out at Dean behind the Angel's back.  
  
"So what's on the agenda for tonight, guys?" Gabriel asked as he handed Sam more books for the boy to arrange on his own.  
  
"I was hoping we could watch some movies together, Dean and I watched one earlier involving a Pride of Lions and I must admit it was most interesting, despite its many inaccuracies." Castiel said and everyone was agreeable to the idea.  
  
"Sounds good to me, I could use some R'n'R after that bookstore session..." Gabriel said, reaching out to ruffle Sam's hair playfully. "This one ran me ragged!" The group laughed as Sam swatted the Archangel's hands away and shot him a baby bitchface.  
  
"Quit playing with my hair, Gabe! God you are so annoying!" Sammy pouted and Dean laughed but Gabriel looked at him seriously.  
  
"Oh fine then, I guess you won't be wanting any of my stellar popcorn with the movie tonight since you think I am _sooo_ annoying." Gabriel said, getting to his feet and disappearing out the door quickly followed by a babbling Sam.  
  
"Popcorn?! Wait up, Gabe! You're not that annoying!" Sam yelled after him but Gabe had taken off running, faking a sob and throwing his arms up dramatically.  
  
"No no no, you made your bed you sleep in it, Sam! I guess I'll just have to eat it all on my lonesome!" Gabriel joked and Sam kept right on chasing him as they made their way down the stairs.  
  
"So...what'd you fancy watching next, Cas?" Dean asked as he put the last of the toys away with a smile. He was itching to start playing with the army men which sat in their bucket on his bedside table - so they could watch over him while he slept, not that he was telling anyone that was the reason for their placement.  
  
"I was hoping we could start with Pinocchio, I remember hearing that story years ago and I must admit I am intrigued by the idea of the movie. Have you seen it?" Castiel asked and Dean shook his head, admiring the work they had done on the room.  
  
"Nah. We never got any time to watch kids shows when we were young..." Dean said, hoping Castiel would not ask too many uncomfortable questions. Thankfully, the Angel didn't have to ask, he already knew that the boys had not had all the advantages of other children their age and he was determined to change that.  
  
"Well then I am glad we shall be discovering it together..." Castiel said and he turned to leave with Dean following close behind him, a dopey smile plastered on his face.


	10. The Magic Of Disney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its movie night for the family and it doesn't go as well as expected...or does it? Chuck help Walt Disney if Castiel ever gets his hands on him!

Dinner was a revelation for Dean, since the boy had little to no experience of proper family dinners. He had still been very young the last time he had eaten at a table with his mother and father, and since his father had been becoming frequently more and more absent the closer it came to the night of the fire those rare occasions when everyone would dine together had been virtually none existent. Sam on the other had been way too young back then too remember being at a table at all, and although Dean had always tried to encourage him to eat at the small table in the crappy motels they'd stay at while dad was off doing God only knows what, this was the first time he'd had a proper sit down meal. Both boys were loving every single minute of it.  
  
Gabriel had spent the better part of the afternoon putting together an amazing meal of roast potatoes, gammon steak and greens - the latter of which Dean was doing his best to avoid eating - and for dessert there was a homemade apple pie cooling on the kitchen counter top. Cookie was curled up under Sam's chair and happily munching on whatever scraps of meat that Sam was able to sneak him, and Gabriel was pretending that he didn't notice - it was making him far too happy to see his Sammy smiling again. Dean was picking away at his vegetables and Castiel was giving him a stern look which told him he wasn't getting away with not eating them, a fact which was causing Dean to pout in the most adorable way.  
  
Finally, when the last of the dinner had been cleared away and the dessert was long gone, Dean leant back in his chair and burped loudly.  
  
"Dean!" Sam squeaked as Gabriel put a hand over his mouth to stifle his own laughter.  
  
"Mind your manners, young man!" Castiel scolded him and Dean raised his eyebrow at the Angel sitting beside him.  
  
"Did you seriously just call me that...old man..." Dean joked and Castiel tried not to smile as both Sam and Gabriel started to laugh out loud.  
  
"That is _not_ funny, Dean!" Castiel said, but it was no use. A smile was breaking out on his face and within minutes he was laughing right along with his family, the whole situation suddenly seeming absurd to him.  
  
"How does it feel to be the Daddy figure, Cassie?" Gabriel laughed and Castiel grinned back at him.  
  
"I don't know what you're laughing at Gabriel...if I am a 'Daddy' figure, then you are reaching 'Grandpa' age." Castiel said, easily wiping the smile from Gabriel's face as both boys turned to gape at him.  
  
"I am not that old!"  
  
"Oh yes you are..."  
  
Dean waved over to Sam to catch his attention and raised his hands in the air, gesturing as though he were pulling at invisible strings attached to the Angels.  
  
_"Puppet Master!"_ Dean mouthed the words carefully and Sam hid his face in his hands to muffle his frantic laughter.  
  
The angels continued to argue all the way into the livingroom as everyone moved to the sofa, and Gabriel set up the DVD player before taking his seat beside Sam and clapping his hands to turn out the lights. Two very large bowls of popcorn appeared, one for each boy to share with their Angel and slowly they settled in to the night as the opening credits of Pinocchio started rolling.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
Apart from a very frightened Sam burying his face into Gabriel's side when Pinocchio's friend started to transform into a donkey, the movie went amazingly well - it went so well in fact that both boys begged and pleaded with the Angels to allow them one more before bedtime, and Dean even swore he would go right to sleep without complaint if they would be allowed just one more. Finally both Gabriel and Castiel caved, unable to stand up against the full might of the Winchester's puppy eyes.  
  
Castiel choose the next movie, another Disney called Bambi with a picture of a fawn on the cover and several other woodland creatures - it looked like fun.  
  
It was not fun.  
  
Things started out fine but as the scenes changed and there came a moment when Bambi and his mother were grazing in the snow, having found a small patch of tufted grass. Castiel watched with growing dread as the doe lifted her head at a small noise in the distance and the music grew dark. She spoke to her son in a hushed voice, frantic with concern, urging him to run for the thicket and suddenly there came a loud bang which startled everyone including the two boys who were curled up between their Angels. Bambi's mother yelled for him to keep running and not to look back, urging him on faster and faster and then another shot was heard. The young fawn kept right on running but now he was alone...his mother was not behind him.  
  
A quiet sob and a shudder pulled Castiel from his own horror and he looked down to find Sam curled up against Deans chest and Dean holding onto him desperately with tears streaming down his face.  
  
"Gabriel, turn it off!" Castiel barked, and the Archangel turned to see the boys in distress and snapping his fingers instantly to shut off the TV. Castiel gathered Dean into his arms and Gabriel took Sam, the pair shuffling close together on the couch so the whole group could cuddle up together.  
  
"Shhh its okay boys, its done now, I am so sorry I didn't think..." Gabriel tried to calm the kids, stroking his fingers through Sammy's hair as Castiel rubbed Dean's back.  
  
"...mommy..." Dean sobbed harshly against Castiel's chest and the Angel exchanged a shocked look with his brother as he continued to hush the boy who was shuddering in his arms. "I want my mommy..."  
  
It took three hours to calm both of the Winchesters into sleep and even then neither Castiel nor Gabriel wanted to let them go. They sat silently on the sofa, cradling them in their arms and finally Cas broke the silence.  
  
"Its getting worse. Whatever this curse is, it's getting stronger. Gabriel we can't risk this anymore, we need to find a cure...before its too late." Castiel whispered, mindful not to speak too loudly for fear of waking them up. Gabriel sat silently, his face illuminated by a small streak of moonlight which had found its way through a crack in the curtains, and slowly he nodded his head and placed a gentle kiss on the top of Sammy's head.  
  
"I know, Cas...looks like playtime is over."  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
When Dean awoke the next morning he found himself not in his own bed but curled up on the sofa with Sammy pressed against his chest, and he took a moment to take in his surroundings. Sometime during the night someone had rearranged them and covered them over in a thick comforting blanket, and somehow they had gotten a pillow under their heads without waking them up.  
  
_"Angel mojo"_ Dean thought to himself, and as he listened he could hear the sounds of talking in the kitchen. As gently and quietly as he could manage he worked his way out from under the blanket and managed to tuck Sam back in without waking him - the last thing he wanted was to wake the boy up now, he just looked so peaceful lying there. The boy crept across the floor until he was standing just outside the kitchen door, pressed against the wall and listening to the sounds of the Angels on the other side.  
  
"...what kind of sick company makes movies like that! My poor Dean, I never want to see him like that again...hasn't he suffered enough without having children's movies trying to scare him!" Castiel's voice came in a harsh whisper and Dean's heart fluttered. It was somehow nice to hear the Angel being so protective of him.  
  
"I know, Castiel, I know its despicable I mean what is the world coming to..." Gabriel said, but his voice was less concerned and more bored and sarcastic which had Dean assuming that Castiel had been going on about it for a long time. Castiel for his part didn't notice the tone.  
  
"I ought to find this _Walt Disney_ and wring his neck! _Family Friendly Entertainment! MY LEFT UROPYGIAL!_ " Castiel yelled and Dean had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing too loudly.  
  
"Castiel! I'm surprised at you, using that language!" Gabriel snarked at his brother, but a small snort from beyond the doorway had him smirking at the door. He motioned to Castiel to keep talking and the younger Angel looked at him strangely as he started to walk silently towards the entryway. "You know there really is nothing worse...than a sneaky..." Suddenly the Archangel dove around the door and snagged a squealing and laughing Dean in his grip. "WINCHESTER!"  
  
"Let me go, you fluffy winged butthead!" Dean squealed, struggling in Gabriel's grip but laughing the whole time as the Archangel slung him over his shoulder and carried him into the kitchen. He plopped Dean down on Castiels lap after much tickling and play scolding for eavesdropping, and the young boy smiled up at Castiel, breathless and red-faced.  
  
"Hello, Dean. Are you feeling better this morning?" Castiel asked as he smoothed back Dean's rumpled hair and the boy leant into his touch.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay now...I'm sor..." Dean started but Castiel took a hold of him tightly and hugged him to his chest, shushing him gently.  
  
"Don't apologise, Dean, there is nothing to be sorry about. I should be apologising to you I had no idea that the movie would be so...so..."  
  
"I know." Dean said, stopping the Angel's frantic stuttering. "Its okay, you didn't know. It's just with Dad, after the fire I couldn't...I wasn't allowed to, I had to be strong for Sammy..." Dean said, talking quietly and playing with Castiel's tie absent-mindedly. Gabriel came over and placed a glass of juice on the table for Dean and a mug of coffee for Castiel, sitting beside the pair and placing a hand on Dean's back.  
  
"You are strong, Dean. A lot stronger than even you know but you are allowed to be sad if you want to be...No one is going to think less of you for crying, and Sam will love you no less for it. Would you think less of him if he cried?" Gabriel asked softly and Dean looked up, eyes filled with fire.  
  
"No way! I'd love him anyway, he's my brother!" Dean said.  
  
"And you are his...If you don't believe us, ask him yourself." Gabriel said, nodding towards the doorway where Sam was standing rubbing his tired eyes. The little boy padded across the floor towards Dean and scrambled up onto Castiel's other knee, awkwardly curling in until he was pressed up against Dean again.  
  
"It's okay to be sad Dee...I'm sad to...But its okay cause I have you. And we have Cas and Gabe and they'll always look after us. Right?" Sam looked up at both the Angel's who were smiling at the brothers. Dean peered up at them also, his eyes a little more unsure.  
  
"Sam's right, Dean. We'll always watch over you..." Castiel promised and with that Dean put his head against the Angel's chest and slowly the tears started to flow.  
  
It felt good.


	11. The Archives Of Creation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Gabriel hit a deadend with their research and find themselves in need further information, the kind which can only be obtained by Angels. An old familar face is recruited to help them when it becomes neccesary for them to leave Sam and Dean behind but how will he react to being disturbed.

  
Gabriel set to work preparing breakfast for the family while Castiel rocked Dean slowly in his arms, calming the young boy with soothing words and reassurances. Sam had shuffled off of Castiel's lap to allow the Angel to cradle Dean more easily but he hadn't gone far, pulling a chair up beside the pair and placing his little hand on Dean's knee. He wanted his brother to know he was still with him and when Dean reached out to clasp Sam's hand in his own the younger boy smiled feeling more hopeful that Dean was going to be okay.  
  
By the time Gabriel placed the breakfast plates - sausages, bacon, eggs and pancakes - on the table, Dean's crying had tapered off and the boy was eyeing the food with interest. Castiel patted his back and helped him down off of his lap so Dean could take his own seat and pull his plate towards him. The Angels exchanged pleased looks when both boys started wolfing down their breakfasts without further chat and they took that as their cue to start their own food without any interruptions.  
  
When they were finished up Castiel asked the boys to clear away the table while he and Gabriel adjourned to the library to begin researching cures for the boys, but after several hours - with multiple breaks to wrangle the boys back to their rooms, and a few times when Castiel had to drag Gabe away from the pillow fort Sam had built - they had to admit defeat. Despite the Men Of Letters extensive knowledge and stellar archiving skills, even they had little to no information on what the particulars of the spell had been. The only mention of it that they had managed to find was a warning label written in a scrawl which suggested the writer had been fairly annoyed while he had written it.  
  
 _"Warning: This bottle contains an old world spell which will cause rapid de-aging and despite our best efforts we have been unable to find a cure. Prolonged exposure will cause mental regression and eventual stagnation causing the sufferer to relive their childhood._  
  
 _Case Study 93_  
  
 _July 24 1963: Brother Damian partook of the elixir in a selfless attempt to study the effects from a first hand perspective, despite the best efforts of the Brotherhood to discourage him. I have agreed to act as scribe to the experiment and guardian to the child while he conducts his research, although I will admit that it has been most difficult to get any work done as 'Dami' would rather play with his blocks. Other than a change in his physical age, there seems to be no other adverse side effects - unless you count childish frolicking to be a symptom. Further analysis is required._  
  
 _July 29 1963: As the days progress I find Damian mental state to be a cause for concern, prompting me to alert the high council to the changes. He has lost all interest in his research and seems to be finding it difficult to recall his teachings, but events from his childhood are clear in his mind and seem to be a sore point. From a recent discussion we shared I have discovered that the child's Father - a Brother Michael - was not the man we thought he was, and would regularly beat both Damian and his mother. These unresolved issues seem to be causing the child a great deal of stress and the more he stresses the worse the effects of the spell seem to become. There may be some correlation between these memories and spell. It would be worth looking into, perhaps therein lies the answer to curing Damian._  
  
 _Personal Note: I worry for my Brother. I feel like I am losing him to this wretched curse and I rue the day I allowed him to drink that blasted liquid. God forgive me._  
  
 _August 5 1963: No significant changes. A therapist has been arranged for the child so as he may work out his past trauma, but as yet there has been no change in his overall condition._  
  
 _Personal Note: I am seriously considering hiring a nursemaid. How do woman do this on a daily basis? My wife has two young ones at home and until now I never realised just how hard it was to raise them. Perhaps a gift is in order? I feel suddenly very contrite for my lack of acknowledgement for her contribution to our family. Women like flowers? It seems so long since I gave my wife flowers, she used to love orchids. I hope she still does._  
  
 _August 16 1963: The experiment is at an end. Although the therapist made some head way with Damian he was unable to find the root of the issue and there has been no improvement made to his physical body. Damian Myers is scheduled to have his memories wiped later today and from tomorrow he will be placed into the care of the state. The remaining liquid - U.S 1139 - will be stored away in the Archives where it can do no further harm and perhaps sometime in the future another Brother will be able to make a breakthrough that we could simply could not achieve._  
  
 _Personal Note: I have been given a leave of absence due to my attachment to this case and to Brother Damian, and the council believe that some time away to mourn is in order. My wife still likes Orchids, and my children have grown so much in such a short space of time. How did I miss it? Where did the time go? Working with Damian has caused me to realise just how short our time is and how quickly one can go from having the world at their feet to nothing. I weep for my Brother, and I wish with all my heart that I could be the one to raise him but the Council believe that he should be kept as far from the truth as possible if we wish for him to live a normal life. My dearest hope is that he gets the life he should have had the first time around...no one should have this weight thrust upon them._  
  
A final piece of paper was stuffed in behind the case files and Castiel was not surprised by what he found written on it.  
  
 _Brother Alexander Mormott - Declared officially AWOL as of the first day of September Nineteen Sixty Three. All attempts at contact have thus far failed and his family home has been abandoned._  
  
 _The Council has ordered that our missing Brother be found ASAP and brought back for official dismissal and memory eradication._  
  
 _Case Closed: Sept 1 1963_  
  
  
Gabriel and Castiel exchanged nervous looks when they had finished reading through the extensive notes, and from above their heads they could hear the sounds of their boys wreaking utter havoc in their bedroom. They had not thought about it until now but it was seeming very strange that Dean would take to playing make-believe so easily, and that Sam was not fighting harder against the effects of the spell. Both boys had accepted their fate far too quickly, and both Gabriel and Castiel had been too preoccupied with raising them right that they had not noticed just how strange the circumstances had been.  
  
"So what do we do now?" Gabriel asked hesitantly, knowing the answer but feeling loathed to admit it out loud.  
  
"You know what we must do, Gabriel. There is only one other place that we might possibly find the answer and although I am not keen on going back there I will if it means saving them. Are you with me on this?" Castiel placed a hand on Gabes shoulder, bracing him gently and the Archangel gave his brother a weary smile.  
  
"Hey if it means getting my Sammoose back, I'm willing to try anything." Gabriel said, sighing as he stood up and snapped his fingers to clear away the books from the table. "Only problem now is what are we gonna do about the boys? You know they can't come with us, not where we are going. The journey alone could kill them." Castiel scowled at the thought. On the one hand he knew it would be impossible for the Winchesters to accompany them to the Heavenly Archives but on the other hand he was loathed to leave them behind. He knew how Dean would react to the abandonment and that was not something he was willing to do to his boy...the boy.  
  
"We can not leave them behind, Gabriel. We swore to them we would never do that!" Castiel reminded his brother and Gabriel thought for a moment before a triumphant grin spread across his face.  
  
"What we need...is a babysitter...And I know just the right man for the job!"  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
Bobby opened the door to his refrigerator with a grin and reached for the dish of peach cobbler and the bowl of fresh whipped cream, his mouth already watering at the thought of the delicious treat. So far Heaven had been one of the best experiences of his lif...ever, and he had to admit it was nice that he no longer had any responsibilities weighing him down.  
  
He fixed himself a plate of the sweet dessert and took his seat at the kitchen table, smiling as he thought over his new-found freedom. No more Hunting...no more fake FBI...He speared himself a large helping onto his fork and raised it to his mouth...  
  
And no more Idjits!  
  
 _Ding Dong_  
  
Bobby barely had time to wonder who the hell was ringing his doorbell before he was knocked sideways off his chair and onto the floor by two tiny boys that he recognised almost immediately, even though he could hardly believe his own eyes.  
  
"UNCLE BOBBY!!!"  
  
"...Sam...Dean?" Bobby gasped as the boys crawled on top of him and wrapped their tiny arms around his neck, and the old man could only hug them back as he tried to process what the hell was going on. The elder Hunter looked over the shoulders of the two boys in his arms and found Castiel and Gabriel standing in his kitchen doorway and looking sheepishly at their feet.  
  
"What the hell did you two idjits do this time?!" Bobby snapped, finally managing to pull himself to his feet but not succeeding in ridding himself of Sam and Dean, who decided to cling to his legs playfully, almost knocking him off-balance again.  
  
"Well Bob-Cat, that's an awful long story..." Gabriel said, dropping himself into a chair at the table with a grin. "Oh is that cobbler?!" Bobby sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was going to be another long day.  



	12. The Source

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby has some bonding time with the boys while Castiel and Gabriel search the archives for any mention of the curse and how to break it...their findings are unexpected, and might be the end of the line for Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll apologise now for the lateness of my updates, but I am sure you all know how busy Christmas and New Year can be. I've tried to make my chapters a little longer to make up for it.

Bobby listened carefully to the Angel's story without interrupting, and although Sam spent the whole time sitting on his lap it did not escape his notice that Dean kept close to Castiel the entire time, a nervous look upon his face.  
  
"So what did you manage to dig up on this spell? Any ideas on where it came from?" Bobby asked when Castiel finished speaking but he knew they would not be here of all places if they had even the slightest clue about what they were dealing with and how to fix it.  
  
"unfortunately no, we did not manage to find any relevent information..." Castiel began but Bobby cut him off with a pointed look.  
  
"Any information is relevent, boy. We humans have a saying...'The devil is in the details.' so 'fess up...what have you got?" Bobby asked again and this time it was Gabriel who spoke up.  
  
"Near as we could tell the Brother who was conducting the spell had only one similarity to the boys here...his Father was a bastard." Gabriel said and although Dean pursed his lips and looked ready to jump to Johns defence once again, one stern look from Castiel was enough to silence him. Bobby envied him. "Seems the son-of-a-bitch was abusive and the kid had some psychological issues because of it. They pulled in a psychiatrist to talk to him but he couldn't get to the bottom of it and the experiment was pulled before anything else could go wrong. You think it means something?" Gabe asked and Bobby thought about it for a moment while Sam shifted around on his lap to look up at him.  
  
"I guess anything is possible, I don't think we should rule it out though until we are sure. That why you boys are coming to visit me all of a sudden? You think I might be able to work this out? Cause I gotta tell ya I am a bit rusty with the ol' hunting business...retirement got me soft." Bobby said with a chuckle and Dean grinned at his Uncle.  
  
"You were always soft, old man..." Dean joked and Sam giggled at his brother, prodding Bobby's belly and ducking away when the older hunter swatted at him.  
  
"Bite your tongue, boy, I've still got more wits about me than you!" Bobby scolded him but there was no real heat in his voice, and despite how screwed up this situation was he couldn't help but reach out to run a hand through Sam's shaggy hair. He had missed the boys so much since he had come to Heaven, and to see them now not as they were when he left but as the children he had grown to love like his own well...It felt like Heaven.  
  
"Anyway, moving back to the point...No we aren't here to tap your wells of knowledge, bottomless though they may be..." Gabriel said with a sarcastic tone which Castiel caught and was clearly not happy with in the least.  
  
"Gabriel! We are here for his help with the boys, you will not insult him like that!" Castiel snapped, silencing his brother easily and turning a much softer gaze to Bobby who was chuckling in his seat. "We were hoping that you might help us by watching the boys for a short time." The Angel asked politely and Bobby's eyes widened at the strange request.  
  
"You...need a babysitter?" Bobby clarified but he got no further as suddenly Dean seemed to catch up with the conversation and he leapt to his feet, backing away from Castiel with a hurt expression on his face.  
  
"No! Cas you swore you wouldn't leave! You swore it to Sammy you said you'd never leave us!" Dean babbled and he looked ready to run but Castiel caught him quickly by the wrist and pulled him back to his seat.  
  
"Yes, Dean, I swore I would never leave you and I promise you I am not but the location where we must travel is not safe for humans, and it is likely you would not survive the journey. So in order to make this as painless as possible for both you and me, we decided to bring you to Bobby. We are going to be less than a mile from here, and even if you could come with us I doubt you'd want to...Its Heavens most extensive collection of knowledge about the universe and all its contents...so ask yourself would you rather come with us and help us navigate the worlds largest library...or spend the day here with Bobby?" Castiel asked and Dean looked torn, on the one hand he wanted to stay by Cas' side but on the other he hadn't seen Bobby in a long time and he really wanted to spend time with his surrogate Father. Finally he conceded and slumped in his chair, a full pout on his lips which Bobby couldn't help but laugh about.  
  
"Hey, don't look so glum boy. I ain't that boring to be around, am I?" Bobby asked and Dean shrugged.  
  
"Depends. You gonna make us watch chick flicks and paint your toenails, cause I know how much you love a pedicure..." Dean joked, and Bobby snatched up a spoon from the table and flicked it at the boy's head, both laughing as Dean dodged out-of-the-way and dived behind Castiel for cover. "Wow, gotta be faster than that old man..." The boy said before taking off running in the other direction, quickly followed by his beloved Uncle and his laughing little Brother.  
  
Cas and Gabe exchanged smiles as they listened to the boys playing outside with their Uncle and they decided silently that they should leave now, while Sam and Dean were too distracted too much too much of a fuss. As they made their way out into the yard Castiel took one last look back, worrying creasing his face and Gabriel put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.  
  
"They'll be safe here, little bro, Bobby's got this..." Gabriel said and Castiel gave him a smile before they both flew off together.  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
It was only fifteen minutes later that both Dean and Sam discovered that the Angels had left without saying goodbye...and all Hell had broken loose. Dean had stormed out of the house and disappeared into the junkyard, and was now sitting silently pouting on the hood of a broken down old `Pontiac. Bobby would have come out after him and told him to get his damned ass back in the house but he was far too busy trying to coax a hysterical Sam out of the bathroom.  
  
"He lied to me, he swore he wouldn't leave!" Sam yelled through the door as Bobby searched all through the drawers in the hall sideboard trying to locate anything that he could use as a lock pick.  
  
"Sam, they had to go otherwise they can't fix you now stop this and open the door!" Bobby growled back, pounding his hand against the wood as he stormed by it.  
  
"No!" Sam screamed and Bobby sighed heavily as he leant back against the door frame, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He didn't remember the boys being this much trouble whenever John would drop them off but now that he thought about it John never did as much with them as Castiel and Gabriel had clearly done. When they showed up at his door he could hardly believe it was the same kids, they just looked so clean and happy, and like they had no troubles at all...the way kids were supposed to look.  
  
"Sam I am not playing around here, if you don't come out right this second I will be calling Gabriel to come back and take you straight home!"  
  
"Good! Call him!"  
  
"Oh I will, and you better believe it when I saw he will not be happy with you!" Bobby seemed to have hit the nail on the head with that comment because suddenly Sam was very quiet. Slowly, the door began to creak open and the boys tearstricken face appeared in the crack.  
  
"...He'll be mad at me?" Sam asked in a tiny voice and Bobby had to use every bit of strength he had not to crumple at the pathetic look on the boys face. He fought to keep his expression stern and his voice steady.  
  
"You really think he'll be pleased to hear you were acting this way after he brought you here to have a nice day with your Uncle Bobby...a nice day that I was really looking forward to, by the way! I've spent all this time up here missing you boys and now that I actually get to see you again you would rather spend all day in the bathroom screaming like a baby?" Bobby asked and Sam scowled at him.  
  
"I'm no baby..." The boy muttered and Bobby huffed.  
  
"Well you are sure acting like one..." Bobby barked but when Sam jumped he softened his expression and got down onto his knees so he was eye level with the kid. "I know you miss him, and I know you're worried that something bad will happen if he leaves you alone but ask yourself this boy...have I ever allowed you to come to harm?" The elder Hunter asked and something like hurt flashed across young Sammy's face. Finally, after several moments of thinking Sam slowly opened the door but kept his eyes fixed on the floor.  
  
"I'm sorry I acted like a brat, Uncle Bobby...are you gonna tell Gabe?" Sam asked, flashing his best puppy eyes at his Uncle and Bobby couldn't help but chuckle - it was a classic Sammy move, and one which he could not help but fall for all over again.  
  
"I guess we can keep this one between us, kiddo. Now how about we go weed out that idiot brother of yours, eh?"  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
Dean heard them coming from the moment they left the house but he refused to meet them halfway or even acknowledge them when they stopped only a few feet from where he was perched on the hood of the junked car. Bobby gave him a moment but when it became apparent that he was ignoring them the old man spoke up.  
  
"You gonna sulk there all day, boy? 'Cause frankly I got better things to do with my time than to stand around waiting for you to wisen up..." Dean didn't even flinch so Bobby sighed and tried another tactic. "Come on, Dean, you and I both know there is something more here. So how about we get it out in the open then we can move past it, huh?" Bobby asked and finally Dean looked around at him. There were tears in his eyes.  
  
"...Everybody always leaves me...and I never get to say goodbye to them." Dean confessed quietly, and Bobby finally understood why the Angels were so worried for Sam and Dean. If it hadn't been for this curse, that fear would have remained buried deep inside until Deans dying day but now he was a child he had no strength to hold it back. Bobby sighed heavily and walked forward, taking a seat on the car beside his nephew.  
  
"Sometimes people can't help that, kid. When you gotta go you gotta go but I'm telling you right now it's not 'you' they are leaving. You think Castiel wants to leave you behind? Hell, that damned Archangel practically had to drag him out of here but he went because he knows he has to...if he ever wants to save you." The elder man explained and Dean sniffed, wiping his face with his hand and shaking his head.  
  
"I'm past saving..."  
  
"No! You are not and don't you ever let me hear you saying that!" Bobby snapped but Sam's small hand swatted him on his thigh and he gave his Uncle a stern look so Bobby changed his tone. "There is not a one of us that thinks you are beyond saving, boy, and we would all move Heaven and Hell to help you - s'matter of fact we have done on a couple of occasions." That earned a small laugh from both boys and Bobby smiled again, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Now how about we head inside and see if we can't find that damn mutt of mine! Can't hardly go hunting rabbits without him now can we?"  
  
"We're going hunting?! Like actual hunting, like we used to?" Dean said, looking happier than he had done in a long time but unfortunately Sammy didn't look so convinced.  
  
"I don't wanna kill rabbits!" The younger boy whined but Bobby just smiled at him.  
  
"Well that's the beauty of being in Heaven, Sam...they're not real, so they can't die." Bobby explained and Sam managed a hesitant smile.  
  
"Oh okay then I guess that's fine." Sam said and Dean rolled his eyes at his little brother, hopping off the car and onto his feet.  
  
"Yeah well now that we got 'Sammy's Seal Of Approval' can we get on with it! I haven't been hunting in years!"  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
Castiel and Gabriel arrived at the heavenly archives and got straight down to the task of searching for any possible reference to de-aging curses and their counter-curses but it was slow work at best. Finally Gabriel gave a whoop from one of the back passages and Castiel ran to him, dropping several ancient books as he ran.  
  
"What is it? Have you found something?" He called out as he skidded around the corner and came face to face with the gleeful Archangel.  
  
"Jackpot!" Gabriel said, holding up the book he had been reading.  
  
"The Fountain Of Youth - A Guide To Spells And Curses From The Waters Of Life"  
  
Castiel took the book from Gabriel rather harshly and read through the highlighted passage.  
  
 _"In the fifth century a group of spiritual warriors were able to locate the fabled 'Fountain Of Youth' and - with the help of their magic - they managed to extract several bottles from the spring. One bottle was given to each of the group members and they were tasked with creating a powerful spell from their own portion, but one was not best pleased with his share. Argroth Melbroke felt that he should be allowed a greater share of the water as he was the wisest and most proficient among them, and when his companions refused him he left them in a fury. On his return to his homeland he shut himself away from many months, taking only what little food and water he needed to survive and calling upon every God he knew, demanding retribution for the insults by his friends. It is then rumoured that when the Gods refused to answer he called upon something far worse. Reports from the townsfolk tell of strange winds which whipped the buildings, uprooted trees and lifted full-grown men and their horses into the skies only to drop them many miles away in a bloody heap as though something in the winds had feasted on their flesh and left not but bones and mangled flesh behind. A strong unpleasant smell hung over the town, and many feared the end of days had finally come upon them. After man nights of terror, a horrific screaming was heard coming on the winds from Argoth's home, and when the screaming finally stopped they rushed in to find him dead on the floor and the winds ceased as though they to had died. A man was found standing over the corpse, but he had no weapon and wore only a torn robe, and a twisted smile which chilled the blood of everyone who laid eyes on him. A young writer at the time was among the crowds and later wrote that the man spoke to them._  
  
 _"See here, humans, a man who allowed his anger to make a child of him and so shall be his fate. It is my will. He who holds fast to his anger shall never again be a man. It is only when you give up your childish woes that you will grow once more. This is my word, and it will keep from now until the end of time itself."_  
  
 _The man, whomever he might be, then disappeared and was never seen again, leaving behind only the childs body for burial and a small bottle of liquid on the table. All else was in ruins._  
  
Castiel finished reading and lowered the book, sharing a worried look with his brother.  
  
"So...all we have to do is get Dean Winchester to let go of his anger?" Castiel asked, to stunned to say anything more.  
  
"Yeah, I know right? Why couldn't they have asked us to solve world hunger or turn the universe inside-out...you know something easy?" Gabriel joked but Castiel quickly to an end to his mockery by slamming the book back onto the shelf and storming away. The Archangel winced and ran after his brother, catching up to him at the entryway to the archives where he was leaning against the doorway with his hands over his face.  
  
"How can I help him now?" Castiel said, more to himself than to Gabriel but the older Angel placed a hand on his back and patted him gently.  
  
"We can't, but we can at least offer him a helping hand. Its up to him to help himself now..."


	13. The Good Ol' Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby spends the day with the boys, and when the Angels return things get a little competitive!

After Bobby had managed to wrestle both boys into their coats and boots the trio walked out the back door...and straight into a sun lit field which Dean was sure had not been in Bobby's backyard a moment ago. The boy lifted his hand to shield his eyes from the blazing sun and off in the distance he could see the dense wooded area that was their destination. If Dean remembered correctly they'd be hunting Eastern Cottontails and Bobby had a small rifle slung on his back, but he'd refused to allow them to bring one of their own.  
  
"That Angel would tan my hide if he saw you carrying, boy! You think I wanna die...again..." Bobby had said and Dean had finally conceded. If Castiel was uncomfortable with Dean handling a knife then it was safe to say he'd lose his mind if he saw Dean carrying a gun. He and Sam had pouted quite a bit when they were told they would not be allowed to take a gun, but when Bobby had promised to let them take a few shots under his strict supervision they had relaxed again - A few shots where better than nothing.  
  
Dean nudged Sam roughly on the shoulder and took off running, laughing when his little brother whined at him and chased after him. Bobby saw no harm in allowing them to run free for awhile, and he followed them at a slower pace, watching Sam and his little legs trying to keep up with his big brother. It felt good to watch them playing so freely, and Bobby sent a silent prayer to Castiel and Gabriel - a thank you for bringing them back to him.  
  
A sudden booming bark rattled Bobby's senses and a second later a dark streak almost knocked him off of his feat. Rumsfeld had finally made it out of the door and was running full pelt towards the boys, barking happily in reply to their encouraging shouts. He might have made it to them if it hadn't been for the small cluster of rabbits which had been startled out of hiding by the dog's barking, and Bobby whistled for the mutts attention. Sam and Dean came running back to see what all the commotion was and Sam squealed with excitement when he saw the rabbits, prompting Dean to hit his arm sharply and motion for him to be quiet. The old hunter signaled for the boys to get down and keep quiet and raised his gun, taking careful aim and firing.  
  
Bullseye!  
  
He nailed the small animal perfectly and the others scampered away quickly, shocked by the sudden noise. Sam clapped a hand over his mouth and looked up at Bobby with a betrayed look on his face but the man just smiled and pointed a finger towards the rabbit, signaling that Sam should look back. When the small boy did he was shocked to see the little bunny leap back to its feet and run off to join its brothers and sisters, completely unharmed.  
  
"...But...I saw you hit it, it went down!" Sam said, looking confused and Bobby chuckled, ruffling his hair.  
  
"I told you kid, its different up here. Nothing dies, not really. Its not real." Bobby explained and Sam still looked a little conflicted but Dean was beaming from ear to ear.  
  
"So you say...but I think you're just losing your touch, old man." Dean said and Bobby turned to scowl at him.  
  
"Oh yeah...lets see you do better!"  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
By the end of the day the score was settled at Dean: Four, Bobby: Three and Sammy...Six. Both Dean and Bobby stormed back into the house, throwing dirty looks at the youngest hunter who strolled in happily with a tiny squirming bunny held tightly in his arms and Rumsfeld trotting in at his side.  
  
"Well I think that went well, don't you?" Sam said, scratching behind the bunny's ears and smirking broadly when his two companions grumbled.  
  
"Lucky!" Bobby growled lightly.  
  
"Oh bite me, Sam!" Dean barked but nothing could dampen the kids mood, and Bobby had to admit he was damn proud of the kid. He'd out shot both of them and he'd won fair and square, plus he got a new friend out of the deal so alls well that ends well.  
  
Dean searched through the rooms of the old house, calling out for Castiel but when it became apparent that the Angels had not yet returned he lost his flair quickly and Bobby had to jump in to stop a full scale riot breaking out.  
  
"So, what do you two say to pizza?" Bobby asked and that put a little spring back in Dean's step.  
  
"Pepperoni!"  
  
"Pineapple!"  
  
The boys had yelled out at the same time then turned on one another, arguing amongst themselves as Bobby went to the kitchen to start the dinner and listen to them trying to out do one another.  
  
"Dude, you don't put fruit on a damn pizza!"  
  
"You can to put fruit on a pizza! Its pizza! You can put anything on it!"  
  
"You're so gross, Sammy!"  
  
"Nuh-huh! BOBBY!"  
  
"Dean, leave your brother alone!" Bobby yelled at them but when the fighting escalated into grappling on the floor the older man sighed heavily and rushed into the living room to separate them.  
  
"Enough! Can't you two ever play nice?" Bobby griped and the pair suddenly got devilish looks on their faces. It was enough to make the mans blood run cold.  
  
"Oh no...please...anything but that!"  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
An hour later Bobby was spared his turn by the buzzer on the oven going off, and he left Sam and Dean spread out on the living room floor arguing about the rent prices on Park Avenue.  
  
If there was one thing Robert Singer hated with a burning passion, it was freakin' Monopoly!  
  
He cut up the pizza into perfect slices - taking extra time to get it right so he wouldn't have to go back to the board and have his ass kicked by a teenager and a pre-teen whiz kid, both of whom took this game way too seriously. Thankfully, just as he was serving up the plates a rush of wings sounded from the hallway and duel squeals of excitement echoed through the house.  
  
"CAS!"  
  
"GABE!"  
  
Bobby came out into the hall just in time to see both Angel's knocked off their feet by two plaid wearing blurs that were Sam and Dean Winchester. The old man watched from the doorway as the Angels and Hunters laughed, cuddling for several minutes before he finally had to clear his throat to get their attention.  
  
"If you kids are through with your cuddle-pile, I got hot pizza here and some cold beers for you guys..." Bobby said, motioning to Cas and Gabe. Dean scowled.  
  
"What about me?" The boy asked with his arms crossed huffily over his chest.  
  
"You're too young!" Castiel scowled and Dean made a face, muttering about rule-crazy angels and turning to head back into the living room. Sammy was too happy to see Gabriel to be bothered with his brother, and the kid all but dragged the Archangel into the living room to see their game.  
  
"Gabe! We're playing Monopoly! Play with us?" Sammy asked and Gabriel grinned widely.  
  
"Hells yeah, I'm in! Cassie, you up for a game?" The Archangel called out and Castiel approached the board cautiously, eyeing it like it was the strangest thing he had ever seen.  
  
"What is it?" The Angel asked and everyone including Bobby snorted with laughter, but Dean sobered quickly and pulled Castiel down beside him.  
  
"Its a game, Cas. You sit here with me and I'll show you how to play, I'm totally the best player." Dean boasted and Sam made a strangled noise.  
  
"You liar, you are worse than Bobby and thats saying something!" Sam yelped and Gabriel almost choked on the slice of pizza he had stolen from the kids plate as he laughed at the look on the eldest hunters face.  
  
"Oh thats it, you little brat, deal me in! I ain't having my skills questioned by a pint sized little..." Bobby ranted but Dean quickly cut across him.  
  
"Hey hey, easy old timer, you'll bust your ticker if you work yourself up." Dean teased and Bobby glared at him before turning to Gabriel.  
  
"Here's the deal. You and Sam, Cas and Dean...against me." Bobby offered and Gabriel raised his eyebrow.  
  
"You really think you can take us all on?" Gabriel said in a disbelieving tone and Bobby's eyes twinkled with mischief.  
  
"Oh I know it...and just to make things interesting, how about we make a little wager. If I win, you idjits owe me one week of slave labour..." Bobby said and Gabriel looked ready to accept that deal but the man continued talking. "Sans mojo! You do it the human way, good ol' fashioned elbow grease!" Gabriel's face fell and he thought about it for a moment, before an evil smirk graced his features and he looked sideways at Sam and Dean.  
  
"Okay, how's this...If you win, we're all yours. But if WE win...you give up all the dirt on these two?" Gabriel said, jerking his thumb in the direction of the boys. "Every embarrassing moment, every blackmail picture you ever took, the whole nine yards." Gabriel offered and Bobby quickly got to his feet, disappearing to the back of the living room and digging around in an old chest. The group watched him carefully and Gabriel craned up to try and see what he was doing. "You searching for buried treasure back there?" The Archangel asked and Bobby laughed softly.  
  
"You could say that...AH-HA! Jackpot!" Bobby yelled, slamming the lid of the chest closed and making his way back to the group, his eyes fixed on Gabe.  
  
"If you win...I'll give you this..." Bobby said, holding up an old battered video cassette tape and Gabriel eyed it carefully.  
  
"What is it?" Gabe asked and Bobby smirked evilly.  
  
"This is the holy grail of Winchester dirt. Dean's first school play, Sam's first girlfriend...the things I caught them doing when they thought no one was watching them. Everything they ever did while here that I could get on camera. All yours...providing you can beat me." Bobby said, yanking the tape out of Gabriel's reach as the Archangel made a dive for it. Sam and Dean looked scandalized but it was too late to speak up, because Castiel stunned them all by reaching across the board and taking the hunters extended hand.  
  
"Deal!"  
  
  
\----------  
  
  
Gabriel didn't understand how it happened...he had used every trick in the book short of actually cheating to win the game, but in the end Bobby flattened them, leaving all four of the boys stunned and staring.  
  
"Okay seriously, what the hell?!" Dean barked, still shocked that the old man had been hiding some mad Monopoly skills.  
  
"Never underestimate your opponent, Dean." Castiel said, sounding a little smug considering he would be working as Bobby's slave for a whole week.  
  
"You think I don't know how to whip your ass, boy?" Bobby asked and Dean shook his head in disbelief.  
  
"Nah, I ain't buying it. Level with us...you sold your soul again right? Crowley's been to visit, looking for another smooch?" Dean asked and Bobby flicked a hotel at his head.  
  
"Just admit defeat, already. Its about time for y'all to get to bed." Bobby said, chancing a look at the clock and finding it was far later than he had thought.  
  
"Aren't we going home? Are you leaving again?" Sam asked quickly, whipping his head around to look pleadingly at Cas and Gabe.  
  
"No, Sam, we are not leaving you again, but I am sure Bobby would like to know what we found at the Archives and we would appreciate a look at his own library if that would be possible?" Castiel asked, turning to Bobby who nodded and struggled to his feet, stretching out his stiff muscles.  
  
"Whatever you need, Cas, but first things first. You two...bed." Bobby said and a chorus of groans and protests filled the air as he walked the boys from the room. Just before they reached the stairs they turned and ran around him, quickly making it back to the Angel's and hugging them tightly.  
  
"Goodnight Gabe, night Cas." Sammy said, giving both of them a tight hug but Dean startled them when he not only hugged Gabriel...but gave Castiel a quick peck on the cheek.  
  
"Night." The elder boy muttered before running up the stairs and out of sight, leaving everyone stunned into silence, including Castiel himself. The Angel watched the boy disappear out of sight and touched his fingers lightly against his cheek, feeling the warmth on his skin where Dean's lips had met his skin.  
  
"Well...that was different." Bobby said, staring at the Angel with a strange look on his face.  
  
By the time Sam had been ferried up the stairs and the pair where settled down for the night, Bobby joined the Angels in the kitchen and pulled a couple of cold beers from the fridge, cracking each of them open and handing one each to Gabriel and Castiel before taking his seat across from them.  
  
"Alright. Fill me in, what you got?" The hunter asked and Castiel spoke up for the first time since Dean had kissed him.  
  
"The boys have to let go of their anger or they'll be stuck as children forever..."  
  
Bobby sighed heavily and slowly lowered his head to the table.  
  
It was going to be a long ass night.


	14. Cruel To Be Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby gets the run down on what the Angels found in the Archives, and together they come up with a plan to save the boys, but will the be able to see it through to the end?

The Hunter and both Angels talked long into the night, working their way through Bobby's beers as they tried and failed to come up with a fool-proof way to get the boys to work through their issues.  
  
"As far as I am aware the only time Dean has come even close to an emotional breakthrough - and rather close to an emotional breakdown, for that matter - was when he was dying in that coma after the car crash with Sam and John." Castiel said, thinking back on the time when he had simply watched over Dean from a distance, unthinking and uncaring. It seemed strange to him that he had once felt so little for the man who had quickly become his whole life.  
  
"Why, what happened?" Bobby asked, wondering how it was possible that he'd never heard about it before now.  
  
"Sam and his father were arguing once again - Sam was desperate to rescue Dean and John was far more interested in his hunt." Cas explained, biting back the anger that surged up at the memory. "Dean was in his spirit form and unable to do anything to stop them and he was becoming very angry. When it became clear to him that his father was going to do nothing to help him he started to shout. Of course John could not hear him...if only he could. Perhaps he would have finally realised just how much pain he caused his own son." The Angel's grip tightened dangerously on his beer bottle and it smashed under the pressure, sending the liquid flying in every direction. Gabriel got up quickly - using his Grace to clean up the mess - and pulled his brother into a hug. Bobby, so used to the antics of angels, barely noticed the commotion as he was too lost in his own memories.  
  
"There was that other time he had a good breakthrough, remember bro? When he took the dreamroot?" Gabriel reminded Castiel and the younger Angel gave him a strangely penetrating look.  
  
"I didn't realise you were also watching over them, Gabriel..." Castiel said and Gabriel blushed, lowering his eyes to the floor and hoping Cas wouldn't ask him any awkward questions. There was a lot of things that he didn't know about Gabriel, and a lot of hurtful memories that Gabriel would rather not think about, but thankfully Castiel let the subject drop. "Of course you are right, the dreamroot was a real revelation for Dean. When one is confronted with oneself in such a manner it is very difficult to 'sweep under the rug' as they say..."  
  
"Maybe that's just what he needs..." Bobby spoke suddenly, his voice soft but the Angels caught every word. The Hunter looked up at them slowly. "Maybe he needs to face this thing head on." Silence followed the statement, and none of them wanted to contemplate going to such an extreme.  
  
"Okay say that's what we had to do...how would we do it?" Gabriel asked tentatively.  
  
"Couldn't we contact John and just let Dean have at it?" Bobby asked but Castiel shook his head.  
  
"I'm afraid that is impossible. John Winchesters soul has been lost to the world since he worked his way out of hell." The Angel explained and Bobby scowled slightly.  
  
"You're telling me you don't know where he went? How is that even possible?" The Hunter asked and both Angels shared an amused smile.  
  
"Let me ask you this, Bobo, when an Angel dies - like really dies, no backsies kinda deal - where does it go?" Gabriel asked and Bobby shook his head.  
  
"I don't know." He admitted finally and Gabriel grinned.  
  
"Well neither do we. We're not too different from humans in that way, none of us really know what happens when we die. We don't know if we wink out of existence or 'move on'." Gabriel quircked his fingers in quotation. "Its one of the great mysteries of the universe, and even Angels don't know everything." The Archangel said and a heavy silence fell over the table again. Bobby was back to thinking, and it seemed like forever before he spoke again.  
  
"So...summoning John is out of the window but...does it really need to be him?" Bobby asked and Gabriel raised a skeptical eyebrow at the man.  
  
"I'm not following..." He said and Bobby rolled his eyes, standing and walking to the refrigerator to get more beers.  
  
"When I went into my coma I wound up facing off against a Reaper, some tight assed asshole with an attitude problem, and I kept trying to tell him I couldn't move on yet. Sam and Dean needed me, they needed to know what I knew." Bobby said, finding it easier to explain his death than he had expected. "So I find out that if I wanna go back to my body I gotta go through all my worst memories and I'll tell you now there were some dark rooms my coconut...rooms I'd rather had never saw the light of day if you know what I mean." Gabriel nodded in understanding but Castiel was a bit confused by the Hunters terminology, though he didn't interrupt him. "So what if we did something similar with the boys? You're an Archangel, yeah, but you're also a Trickster. I've known you to create some pretty realistic worlds just for shits and giggles. Could you give them the same experience I had? All their worst moments, everyone who ever screwed them over? The works." Gabriel looked as though he was going to smite the man.  
  
"Do you know what you're asking of me, Bobby? You're asking me to torture them! No! I won't do it!" Gabriel snapped, but Castiel placed a hand on his brothers shoulder and turned him so they were facing one another.  
  
"Gabriel...Could you do it?" Castiel asked gently and the Archangel growled softly.  
  
"Of course I could! That doesn't mean I will!" Gabriel said, his voice deadly and dripping with rage. "You're seriously considering this?! Do you know what that would do to them?!"  
  
"I do know!" Castiel yelled, lowering his voice when he realised he was shouting and might wake the children sleeping upstairs. "I know what it could do to them but I also know what will happen if we don't! They can not stay this way forever, Gabriel! How would you feel knowing that you could never have Sam back? How do you think I would feel knowing that I would never have Dean again, that I'd never be able to tell him I..." The Angel cut himself off quickly, breath coming in sharp pants as his eyes brimmed with tears. "I know you're hurting Gabriel, and I know how much this is to ask but we must ask it of you. For their own good, we have to act. You love humans so much Gabriel, you should know their saying...'Sometimes you must be cruel to be kind'..." Castiel finished and Gabriel slumped over in his chair, putting his face in his hands, and for a long time no one spoke. The silence was overpowering.  
  
"How are we going to tell them?" Gabriel finally asked, his voice a hoarse whisper and Castiel's eyes wandered up the stairs where the two children slept on, not knowing the pain of the adults in the room below them.  
  
"We'll do it together...tomorrow. Let them sleep now. They will need their strength."  
  
But time was already making a fool of all of them, and on the distant horizon the sun was turning the sky from black to pink. Morning was coming, and there was nothing they could do to stop the rising of the sun.  
  
It was time.


	15. Welcome To My Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Gabriel explain to the boys what is needed to break the curse and Dean accidently stumbles into his worst nightmare...but what will he do when he is confronted by his own fears...

When Dean woke up he was staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling that was way too clean to be the one in Bobby’s spare room. He lay for a long time, listening carefully to his surroundings and he could easily make out the sounds of Sam’s quiet snoring from somewhere to his left, and that at least put him somewhat at ease. When he finally decided it was safe to sit up he found himself in a beautiful bedroom, decorated with soft blue wallpaper and a white carpet. The furniture was light wood and basic, the kind you would see in a decently priced Hotel bedroom, and none of it looked as though it was in use so Dean crept out of bed and made his way over to the chest of drawers, opening it up and peering inside. It was just as he thought - empty inside.   
  
Dean shut the drawer and snuck over to Sammy’s bed, giving his younger brother a gentle shake to wake him up. The kid mumbled in his sleep and slowly cracked open his eyes, smiling when he saw Dean staring down at him.   
  
“Hey De...Where are we?” Sam yelped as he noticed the strange room they were in and sat bolt upright in bed. Dean had to clap his hand over Sam’s mouth so the kid wouldn’t yell in surprise, and he wasn’t yet sure if they were safe enough to make noise.   
  
“Shhh, I don’t know Sam but we’re going to find out okay?” Dean reassured Sam before slowly taking his hand away from the boy’s mouth.   
  
“Where are Gabe and Cas? Have they...have they left us?” Sam asked in a small, frightened voice, and before Dean could answer, the sound of fluttering wings alerted them to the Angels presence.   
  
“Oh Sam, you know I’d never leave you right?” Gabe said from the bottom of Sam’s bed, where he was seated on the edge and looking down at Sam with sad eyes. The younger Winchester beamed at the Archangel and quickly made his way down the bed towards him, crawling into his lap and easily accepting Gabriel’s embrace. Castiel was standing by Dean, and he put his hand on the boy’s shoulder with a forced smile.   
  
“Hello, Dean.” He said and Dean couldn’t help but smile at what was becoming the Angel’s signature phrase.   
  
“Hey, Cas. What’s going on? Where are we?” Dean asked, a little wary of the answer since the Angel looked so down.   
  
“We are in your dreams.” Cas answered simply, startling Dean who wasn’t expecting that.   
  
“Okay, can I ask why?” Dean ventured carefully, getting very anxious at the quiet behaviour of both Angels - he didn’t know what was going on, but he knew it couldn’t be good.   
  
Castiel and Gabriel exchanged a sorrowful look and Gabriel held Sammy even tighter as Castiel turned back to Dean to explain.   
  
“We felt that our next course of action would be better served if we were right at the source of the problem...we know how to cure you.” Castiel said and Dean gave a hesitant smile.   
  
“Okay, so what’s the problem then? Why do you two looked like someone kicked your puppy?”   
  
“...In order to be cured, you will have to confront your demons and make peace with your pain…” Castiel muttered, keeping his eyes on the floor as he waited for Dean to explode.   
  
“I’m sorry, I must’ve misheard you...You want me to do what now?” Dean asked, voice dripping with sarcasm as Castiel shuffled his feet nervously.   
  
“We have to take you back through your worst memories and allow you to properly process your feelings.” Gabriel said, hating the betrayed look on Sammy’s face as the boy squirmed in his grip.   
  
“Dean, please understand, this is not something we decided on lightly...if there were any other way we would take it.” Castiel babbled as Dean shook his head and backed away from both the Angels.   
  
“No. No you can’t make me do this shit! Do you have any idea what you are asking me to do, the things you are asking me to relive?! No!” Dean yelled darting for the door and forgetting for the moment the many horrible things which could lie behind it. Too late he heard Castiel yell for him to stop, and he was through the door to the horror that awaited him.   
  
Now trapped inside a burning room, Dean heard the door slam closed behind him. He was alone.   
  
\----------   
  
  
The room was hot and filled with acrid smoke which burnt his mouth, throat and lungs as he struggled to breathe through it. Everything was lit up in vivid red and yellow as the flames consumed the furnishings around him, and vaguely he recognised the building for what it was...He was home.   
  
A scream pierced the air from somewhere above his head, and he heard the sound of a baby crying.   
  
Sammy.   
  
Dean darted for the stairs, climbing them as fast as he could but it was difficult, and slowly he began to realise that he was a lot smaller than he had been only moments ago. His whole body was tiny, short legs stretching out to take out step upwards, and onto the blackened hallway.   
  
When he reached the landing he dropped to his knees, coughing himself to sickness and wiping the tears from his eyes. Once he was able to look up again his heart leapt with hope. A strong, tall figure was rushing down the hall towards him carrying the screaming baby Sam in his arms.   
  
It was his Father.   
  
Dean’s relief however was short lived, because as his Father reached him and Dean stretched out his arms for help...Sam was thrust into his hands, and for a moment he thought that he would drop him but he managed to adjust his grip.   
  
“Take your Brother outside as fast as you can...NOW DEAN, GO!” John yelled at him, and Dean watched for only a moment as his hero turned his back on him and ran back into the flames, leaving Dean to carry his brother back through the house and out of the front door.   
  
When Dean burst through the front door to the house, expecting to find himself out on the front lawn with the neighbours all gathered to watch as his life went up in flames, he found himself instead standing on a deserted street with only a tiny squirming baby for company.   
  
The world had gone silent around him, and when he turned to look back he found the ruins of his home smouldering away - just like it had been hours after the fire had been put out, when the firemen had carried his Mother’s body from the building. There were no firemen now though, no police or paramedics either. Dean was alone with Sam, and he slumped down onto the grass, grasping the child close to his chest as he cried.   
  
He felt as though a millennium had passed before a voice spoke to him from the road.   
  
“You felt abandoned by him.” Castiel said, watching Dean as he rocked back and forward with the baby, just as he always did when he wanted Sammy to go to sleep.   
  
“He was only doing what he thought was right…” Dean said, but something inside him was building, a tidal wave of hot rage which was spilling over Dean’s carefully constructed walls.   
  
“What he did, and what he thought he was doing, are irrelevant. You felt abandoned. He was not always the most attentive of Father’s but right when you needed him the most...he turned his back on you in favour of your Mother. You were hurt.” Castiel was not asking Dean questions now, he was stating what he knew was true, and Dean finally broke down.   
  
“I was a child. This house was coming down around me, I could hear mommy screaming and I was scared!” Dean cried into Baby Sammy’s shoulder, shaking all over from barely concealed rage. “I wanted him to pick me up, why wouldn’t he just…” Dean sobbed on the grass, and when the warm weight of Castiel appeared by his side he leant into him, eagerly accepting the comfort of his friend.   
  
“And instead of picking you up and caring for you he started a trend this night which would continue for the rest of your life. He forced his responsibilities onto your shoulders and gave you nothing in return. I do not doubt he thought his actions were for the best, but you and I know better than anyone that it is not the road to heaven which is paved with good intentions.” Castiel was rubbing slow circles on Dean’s back, soothing the boy gently as he cried. “Can’t you see Dean how these feelings are killing you? You have to face them now, or you’ll be trapped this way forever.” Dean shuddered gently and finally he peered up from over the baby in his arms.   
  
“What do I have to do?” Dean muttered and Castiel smiled, happy that he was finally getting through the boy’s defenses.   
  
“Firstly...You have to let go.” Cas said, and when Dean looked confused the Angel placed on hand on the baby which was curled up against Dean’s chest. The boy squeaked and clutched at the child tightly, shaking his head.   
  
“No, I can’t! He needs me...can’t you see he needs me, he doesn’t have anyone else.” Dean cried, shaking from head to toe.   
  
“Oh my Dean, this was never your burden to bear.” Castiel said, stroking his hand through Dean’s hair. “But you did bear it, and he did an amazing job. That child grew up a long time ago, and yes he will always need you...but he no longer needs you to carry him. Sam Winchester is a full grown man. An amazing person who saved the world and it’s all thanks to the brother who gave up his own comforts to care for him. He will always love you for that. Letting him go now will not change that love, it will make it better.” The Angel held out his arms for the bundle of blankets. “Let him go, Dean.”   
  
Dean looked down into the smiling face of his baby brother and sighed, leaning in to kiss him on the forehead. The baby squealed happily and reached out its tiny hand to paw at Dean’s face, tracing its little fingers through the tears on Dean’s cheeks.   
  
“You know I’ll always love you, right Sammy? I’ve loved you since the day mom brought you home. She always used to say to me ‘You gotta be a good boy Dean, cause little Sammy is looking up to you…’ and I was...at least when she was watching.” Dean laughed a little through his tears, and the baby cuddled in closer to his chest, yawning as its little eyes fluttered closed. “Dad always told me ‘Watch out for Sammy’, and I know I wasn’t always the best at my job but I tried, Sammy, God knows I tried so hard to keep you safe and happy. But Cas is right...You’re not my little baby boy anymore, and I have to let you go now. You wanna know a secret kid? You grow up to be an amazing guy. You’re smart, healthy and funny...well, you  _ think _ you are funny! I know I make fun of you a lot but I am being honest now, I am so damned proud of you. There is not a day goes by that I don’t think just how lucky I am to have you.” Dean stroked his fingers down Sammy’s face and smiled as the kid snored gently in his arms. “Night, Sammy.”   
  
With another heartbroken sob, Dean handed the baby to Castiel, whimpering when the weight of the child left his grasp. He stared down at his empty hands with a confused feeling in his chest...relief. For the first time in his life he felt lighter, and Cas held the baby so gently that it was impossible for Dean to worry about him getting hurt. Dean had never trusted anyone to carry Sammy when they were young, and he had stuck by him like a guard dog, never letting people too close but now...He was able to breathe again.   
  
Castiel took the small bundle and stood up, smiling at the sleeping baby in his arms before walking out into the empty road. Dean watched as the Angel leant in close to the baby, whispering something which he could not hear, and with a final soft kiss to Sam’s head they were both gone.   
  
Dean knew he should be afraid, but he wasn’t. Something inside him knew that Castiel hadn’t really left him, he was just waiting for him on the other side of the coin. The Hunter got to his feet and dusted himself off, taking one final look at his family home - which was now restored and looking exactly as it had before it had burnt to the ground.   
  
The sound of a squeaky hinge creaking had Dean turning back around to look down the street, where a door had appeared in the middle of the road, standing slightly ajar and waiting for him.   
  
Dean didn’t know what he would be facing next, but whatever it was he would handle.   
  
Afterall, as his Mother had always promised... Angels were watching over him.


	16. It's A Wonderful Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is forced to meet his own reflection head on and deal with the fear and memories he'd rather had remained lost. What exactly do you say to the frightened child in you when life never got any better?

**Chapter 16** ****  
**It’s A Wonderful Life**   
  
  
Sam saw his Brother disappear beyond the door, heard Castiel cry out for him to stop and then Dean and Angel were gone, leaving Sam alone in the bedroom with Gabriel.   
  
The young boy leapt to his feet and ran full pelt towards the door, but he found his pathway suddenly blocked by a frightened looking Archangel.   
  
“I can’t let you do that Sam.” Gabriel said, his voice low and full of sorrow.   
  
“Get out of my way, Gabriel!” Sam raged, throwing himself at the Archangel and trying to yank him away from the door but Gabriel was like steel under his grip - even if he had been a full grown adult he would have had a hard time moving him, but now it was completely impossible. Gabriel stood still as a statue and allowed the boy to pull at him, push at him and even when Sam’s small fists began to fall - striking any place he could reach - Gabriel remained unmoved. The only thing that told Sam that the Archangel was still there and had not been replaced by a lump of stone was the tears which were falling from his cheeks. Gabriel was crying.   
  
“I can’t let you do that Sam...I am sorry but Dean is gone.” Gabriel said, speaking softly even as the kid wailed and continued to beat his tiny hands against his chest. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Sam’s strength left him and he slid to his knees in front of Gabe, sobbing brokenly.   
  
“You have to take me to him, Gabe, he needs me.” Sam sobbed, clinging to Gabriel’s leg desperately and the poor Archangel couldn’t take anymore of it. He reached down and lifted the boy into his arms, ignoring his feeble protesting and simply holding him until he went limp in his arms.   
  
“I can’t Sammy. Dean needs to face these things on his own, same as you need to face yours. Castiel is with him though…” Gabe added, hoping the presence of the Angel would be a small comfort to Sam. The one thing Gabriel did not expect was for Sam to go stiff under his grasp.   
  
“Yeah but for how long…” Sam muttered, more to himself than to Gabriel, and the Archangel pushed him back a little so he could look at him in the eye.   
  
“What do you mean by that?” Gabriel asked, trying not to raise his voice and spook the boy.   
  
“Well that’s what he does, isn’t it? Leaves him...He’ll be there till the jobs done...then he’ll leave again.” Sam said in a bitter tone which Gabriel longed to unhear but couldn’t.   
  
“You listen to me, Sam Winchester, and you listen good...My brother is a good Angel, and he cares for your brother more than he cares for anything else.”   
  
“Well he’s got a funny way of showing it!” Sam barked, crossing his small arms over his chest. “That’s why I gotta be there for him, cause Castiel certainly isn’t going to be...not when it’s all over, anyway. He’ll go back to Heaven again and Dean will be alone. If he’d just stick around long enough maybe Dean would finally tell him that he…” Sam stopped suddenly, cutting off his own words quickly but it was too late, he’d already said too much.   
  
“...Finally tell him what, Sam?” Gabriel asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear the words from the boys own mouth.   
  
“That he loves him.” Sam said in a soft voice, eyes fixed on the floor. “Dean loves him, but he won’t tell him cause he knows that Cas is just gonna leave him behind again. What’s the point in telling someone you care about them if they don’t care about you enough to stay with you when you need them.” Gabriel sighed heavily and wondered just how much of this was about Dean and Cas, and how much was about Sam and himself. When this was all over the Archangel really needed to sit his friend down and have a long talk with him...but for now.   
  
“Castiel does love him Sam and he wants to stay with him…” Gabriel started to speak but Sam cut him off with a glare.   
  
“Then why does he always leave him?” The kid barked, eyes boring holes into Gabriel’s.   
  
“Because he thinks he is nothing more than a weapon to Dean. Something to be used and put aside again. He doesn’t think Dean cares about him like that…” Gabe explained, trying to hide his satisfied smirk when Sam’s eyes went wide with shocked understanding. “So maybe when this shit-storm is over you and I will need to find a way to bang their stupid heads together...but for now there are other issues to deal with and don’t think for one moment I don’t know that part of the reason you brought this up is because you are too scared to face what’s waiting for you on the other side of that door.” Sam’s eyes flicked nervously to the doorway and back to the floor, avoiding the Archangel’s knowing stare. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Sam I can’t promise that it’s going to be a dream back there but I can promise you this much. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.” Gabriel watched the boy shifting in his seat and slowly reached out his hand, offering it to Sam. “Please trust me…”   
  
After several minutes Sam looked up at him and finally took his hand, allowing Gabriel to pull him gently to his feet. The Trickster took the submission with a grateful smile and lead the boy slowly towards the door. When the reached it they stood on the threshold and Sam drew in a steadying breath before pushing the door open with a creak which was unnerving, like the build up to an old horror movie. The kid was half expecting something horrible to leap out at him but when the door swung open it revealed only darkness on the other side, a black fog which was too thick to see through. Sam took a moment to look up at Gabriel, and the Archangel smiled back down at him reassuringly but even Sam could see that it was a strained look. The kid looked back down at his feet and with a whole lot of effort he managed to step forward, walking through the door with his Angel by his side.   
  
It was time to face the music.   
  
  
\----------   
  
  
The Motel room where they found themselves was nothing special, and it certainly didn’t stand out in Sam’s memory as anywhere significant which confused the kid to begin with - he’d have thought that whatever dark feelings he would be dealing with would be the ones which were front and centre in his mind, but this place was ringing no alarm bells. It actually looked kinda peaceful at the moment.   
  
There were two beds, a TV and around the room there was signs of life such as their backpacks on the floor and a couple of Sam’s old school books lying on one of the beds. Sam made his way over to the bed and sat down, picking up the pile of books and smiling as he ran his fingers gently over the covers, as though he was worried that they might crumble under his touch.   
  
“We didn’t always get to go to school...moving around a lot, sometimes it just wasn’t worth enrolling us and by the time Dean was a teenager he was out with Dad more often than not but...I still had my books.” Sam said as he read through the titles, turning each book over in his hands. When he reached the bottom of the pile he stopped, a small gasp escaping his lips. The book in his hands was not a school book but a children’s story, and it was one he had not thought about in years.   
  
“You always loved Curious George.” Gabriel said with a smile, chuckling when Sam looked up at him with a grin.   
  
“I hid this one from Dad cause he’d have never understood it…He didn’t think much of ‘kids stuff’.” Sam explained, his grin faltering a little as he remembered his Father, and a silence fell over the room again...but it didn’t last.   
  
The door flew open suddenly and Sam leapt to his feet, backing up against the wall as he watched two figures entering the room. A quick look at Gabriel reassured him that everything was fine, and from the way the two newcomers ignored them Sam could tell that he was invisible to them...a ghostly watcher, and nothing more.   
  
“Dean what do you mean, what’s happened to Dad?!” A young Sam bawled as he came running into the room behind his storming brother.   
  
“Nothing, Dad’s fine it’s that damn partner of his, Alvares or whatever his name is! He’s in the hospital and Dad’s running solo...I gotta get out to him pronto and help him out.” Dean said as he began throwing his stuff into a bag and searching for his knife.   
  
“Alright so what, he wants us out there with him?” Sam asked, a little excited as he started to pack up his own bag only to be stopped in his tracks by Dean.   
  
“I didn’t say that...You aren’t coming. You’re staying here.” Dean said, unable to keep his eyes on Sam’s for too long as the younger boys face crumpled.   
  
“You...You’re leaving me behind?! You can’t do that!” Sam yelled but Dean wasn’t listening to him and was instead pulling the spare cash out from his bedside table and counting it. “What the hell am I supposed to do here by myself?!” Sam barked, getting angry at his brother and from the wall the ghostly Sam turned his face away, knowing all too well what was coming.   
  
“How the hell am I supposed to know? Look you’ll be fine for christ sakes, you don’t need me holding your hand! Man up, Sam!” Dean yelled but he instantly regretted it. Sam’s face paled and the hand which had reached out to grip at Dean’s arm pulled away sharply, as though burned. The pair stood in silence and finally Sam’s face morphed, turning from saddened and hurt to snide in a moment.   
  
“Oh gee, thanks for that Dad! You know Dean, you are just like him!” Sam screamed, facing up to Dean with a menace that his brother had never seen before.   
  
“What’s wrong with that, he’s a great man, a hero!” Dean screamed back, unable to believe that his own brother was trying to bring him down.   
  
“He’s a lonely, bitter, drunken BASTARD!” Sam screamed and Dean saw red, whipping his hand back before Sam could react and bringing his palm crashing down across Sam’s cheek. The younger boy squealed and stumbled backwards, catching his knees on the bed and tumbling onto it. He reached up to cup his cheek and stared up at Dean with a look of horror which was matched only by Dean’s own look of guilt and remorse.   
  
“Shit...Sammy...I…” Dean stuttered but as he reached forward to comfort Sam the younger boy jerked away, slapping Dean’s hand away from him with a disgusted look.   
  
“Just go…” Sam said, his voice soft but full of venom. Dean sighed heavily and backed off, putting his hands in the air.   
  
“I don’t have a choice, Sammy. People are dying.” Dean pleaded, trying to make Sam see sense.   
  
“People die, Dean! That’s life.” Sam said, refusing to look at his brother in the eye.   
  
“Dad might die to!”   
  
“So what?!”   
  
Dean’s mouth fell open in shock and for a moment he couldn’t bring himself to speak.   
  
“You don’t mean that.” Dean said, trying to control the tremble in his voice as he felt his anger starting to rise again.   
  
“Yes I do. Look I know you worship the ground he walks on but I don’t give a shit about him! I care about you! If you leave you might die and then what would I do?! This is his fault! If he hadn’t called you, none of this would be happening! He’s taking you away from me!”   
  
Dean fell silent again and turned away from Sam, putting his back to him so that the boy wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes. He quickly threw the last of his stuff into his bag and threw the money down onto the table.   
  
“We’ll be home in a few days...stay out of trouble.” Dean said, and without a backwards glance he walked out of the door, leaving the sobbing figure of Sam lying on the bed with his hands over his face.   
  
Sam kept his eyes glued to the mirror image of himself on the bed, and he watched as it began to fade into nothing, growing more and more faint until only the echoing sounds of his crying could be heard. He felt the last of his strength leave him as he slid down the wall and curled in on himself. A hand on his shoulder and a warmth by his side told him Gabriel had come to him, and he felt himself leaning into the comfort of the Archangel’s embrace.   
  
“I hated him…” Sam finally said in a tiny voice and Gabriel couldn’t help but pull him tighter against himself.   
  
“Dean?” Gabriel asked but Sam shook his head.   
  
“Our Dad...It was like taking away my life, my friends and my school wasn’t enough for him! No he had to go and take away my Dean...I spent a whole week in this room watching for them...I thought they were dead! Every time Dean walked out that damn door I thought this was the last time I’d ever see him. When I started hunting it wasn’t cause I wanted to help people Gabe and I know that’s horrible but it’s the truth! I started hunting because of Dean…”   
  
“Because you wanted to protect him…” Gabriel said, filling in what Sam was too broken to say for himself. “Sammy...my Sammy. There was nothing you could have done to save Dean from your Father, not back then. Dean had to come to his own mind about it. You were just a kid, what could you have done?”   
  
“I could have fought for him! I could have stood up to Dad, I could have made Dean see sense! I should have tried harder!” Sam bawled, shaking all over from the weight of his guilt.   
  
“But don’t you see Sammy? That should never have been your burden! Your Father should never have called in Dean to help him! He was meant to be protecting you, not forcing you closer to the evil in the world. This was not your fault!” Gabriel said, becoming more and more angry as he thought about all the shit that Sam had went through over the years.   
  
“...Why did he make this our life Gabe?” Sam finally asked. “We didn’t deserve this bullshit.” Gabe didn’t answer, but instead nudged Sam until he looked up and found that the figure of himself was standing in the middle of the room, staring down at him.   
  
There was a strip of masking tape over his mouth.   
  
“You blame yourself for not speaking up in your brother’s defense...but the truth is Sam there was nothing you could say. Things would have played out this way no matter what. But regardless of that you feel silenced...go talk to him...You need to let this out, Sam.”   
  
The kid got to his feet slowly and approached the figure, standing face to face with himself and feeling a sense of calm washing over him.   
  
“Tell him, Sam.” Gabriel said and finally Sam spoke.   
  
“This wasn’t our fault. We didn’t deserve this.” Sam said, reaching out to pull the tape from his doubles mouth. The voice that spoke back to him was one he barely recognised, and it sounded frightened.   
  
_ “I’m scared…” _   
  
“Don’t be scared…” Sam said to himself, closing his eyes against the lonely figure of himself.   
  
_ “Do we ever get out…” _   
  
Sam thought back to his time at Stanford, and all the wonderful time he spent with Jess...but those memories were marred by the countless times he had seen dark figures from the corner of his eye, or thought he’d smelt sulfur in the air...and the nightmares.   
  
“No.” He answered finally, tears stinging his eyes once again.   
  
_ “...Dean…” _ Sam opened his eyes to find his reflection crying with him.   
  
“He is always there for us.” Sam said, a smile finally pulling at his lips. “He always comes back for us.” The figure thinks about this for a moment and suddenly launches forward, pulling Sam into a tight embrace.   
  
_ “I wanna go home…” _ And with that the small memory of Sam Winchester begins to shine, glowing brightly in the real Sam’s arms and slowly passing through into his body, making them one again. A feeling of warmth grows inside Sam and he collapses to the floor, narrowly missing the bed as Gabriel catches him on the way down.   
  
“We are home…” Sam answers, and closes his eyes once again, falling into unconsciousness in Gabriel’s arms.


	17. Uncle Bobby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean confronts his past with Bobby and relives the day that John pulled them apart for the last time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to leave a quick note on this chapter. Although Dean was angry at Bobby for not having their back it is not because he hates him, its just a memory that hurt him badly and I was in no way bringing Bobby down. Personally speaking I think I have made my views on John Winchester clear as crystal. I hope no one takes offense to this chapter, cause it certainly wasn't mant that way. BOBBY RULES!

Dean closed his eyes as he stepped through the doorway which had appeared in the road, and it was only once he heard the door shut behind him that he opened his eyes...he almost wished he hadn’t.   
  
The hallway was familiar, dusty and untidy, but so very much a part of Dean’s heart that he couldn’t help but recognise it. He was standing in Bobby’s house.   
  
He took a moment to breath in the scent of the house - it was like being in a really old library and he’d be damned to hell if he’d ever admit that he actually enjoyed the smell of old books. Sammy would have a field day if he found out about that little quirk.   
  
The sound of laughter reached his ears and Dean followed it, more on instinct than from any real desire, but once he reached the screen door at the back of Bobby’s kitchen he saw a sight which made him smile.   
  
Bobby - looking far younger than he had the last time Dean saw him - was being chased around the back yard by the tiny figure of Sam while Dean cheered him on from the sidelines. Sam was holding a water gun in his hands and every time he got near Bobby he would soak the old man all over again, leaving him drenched and panting when he finally fell to his knees in the dirt and held up his hands for Sam to see.   
  
“I surrender! I surrender! No more…” Bobby wheezed, laughing when Sam whooped and started dancing victoriously around the old man.   
  
“I reign supreme! No one can defeat me!” Sam yelled, finally stopping his dance long enough to pull a very tired Bobby to his feet. The elder Hunter grinned widely at the tiny boy before him and clapped him on the shoulder.   
  
“Yeah yeah, not bad kid...Anyone ever tell you it’s wrong to pick on the elderly?” Bobby asked and Sam scrunched up his face in confusion.   
  
“You’re not  _ that _ old, Uncle Bobby…” Sam said, with so much sincerity that Dean could have sworn he saw Bobby’s eyes tearing up just a little. He didn’t say anything, just ruffled the boy’s overly long hair with a fond chuckle.   
  
“I wouldn’t go  _ that _ far Sammy…” Dean said, only slightly mocking Sam’s baby voice. “Give him a couple of more years and we’ll be selling him the museum.” Bobby whipped around so fast that Dean had to back up several inches to avoid being knocked on his ass.   
  
“Oh that’s it boy, you’re going down...Sammy, gun!” Bobby yelled, taking the water gun from Sam’s hand and aiming it at Dean. The older boy took off running for his life, closely followed by his Uncle and his little brother, who was laughing so hard he could barely keep it.   
  
“Face it, old man! You’ve never caught me, and you never will!” Dean yelled back over his shoulder, running around the side of the house to avoid the terrible twosome behind him but when he made it out to the front he stopped dead in his tracks.   
  
Pulling up the driveway, some distance away but still close enough to be easily recognised...was a sleek black 1967 Chevy Impala...Dad was back.   
  
The real Dean - who had been watching his alter ego from some distance away - swallowed hard as he watched himself slump, all the fun seeming to drain away at the sight of that car pulling into the drive. It was like someone had taken a pin and punctured him, leaving a deflated and tired looking husk behind them.   
  
John Winchester parked the car and stepped out of it, his eyes fixed on Dean with a strange bitterness which made the dream Dean recoil, and when John reached him he stared down at the boy in silence. Bobby and Sam had stopped a few feet from the house and were watching the whole scene play out before them, but after several minutes without a word passing between Father and Son, Bobby cleared his throat to get John’s attention.   
  
“Hey John, how’d the hunt go?” Bobby asked, walking up to stand just behind Dean and place a hand on his shoulder. John’s eyes burned for just a moment before he locked his gaze on Bobby.   
  
“Fine, bit of trouble finding it but I got the bastard in the end...What’s going on here?” John asked, eyes flicking between the three figures standing before him as though he were surveying a bomb site.   
  
“Oh this eh, nothing much just having a little play time, ya know?” Bobby said, trying to lighten the mood but his words only seemed to increase the pinched look on John’s face. Dean cringed at the words and lowered his gaze to his feet, not wanting to look his father in the eyes anymore.   
  
“Boys I need to talk to your Uncle Bobby alone for a minute...go pack your stuff and I’ll call you when it’s time to leave.” John ordered and Dean turned to walk away, readily obeying his Father but Sam was another matter. The kid, who had been hovering behind Bobby the entire time, now stepped out with a determined look on his face and glared at their Father.   
  
“I don’t want to leave!” Sam barked, earning a shocked look from Dean and Bobby, but John only rolled his eyes.   
  
“Sam I am in no mood for your crap today, go get your stuff!” John said, putting enough force in his voice to scare most people into doing as they were told...but not Sam.   
  
“No! I don’t wanna go! I wanna stay here with Bobby!” Sam yelled and John took a step forward, clearly ready for a proper fight but Dean quickly launched himself into the middle of them.   
  
“Hey Sam, come on let’s go upstairs just now and let Dad and Bobby talk okay?” Dean said, coaxing Sam away from the men gently, but the kid was nothing if not persistent.   
  
“You won’t make us leave, will you Uncle Bobby? Tell him he can’t take us away again!” Sam yelled over his shoulder as Dean ushered him away, leading him back into the house and away from the inevitable fight.   
  
When they were safely out of earshot, John rounded on Bobby with a scowl.   
  
“What the hell have you been saying to my kids?!” John barked, stunning Bobby with his words.   
  
“I ain’t said anything to them! What the hell makes you think that?!” Bobby yelled back, hoping to God that the boys were too busy packing to overhear them both.   
  
“Bullshit! Every damn time I bring them here it’s the same bloody fight getting them to leave! I asked you to babysit them, not fill their heads with crap!” John looked ready to punch Bobby, but the old man wasn’t backing down to him.   
  
“Oh yeah, I guess it’s much better to fill their heads with monsters!” Bobby snapped sarcastically, glaring daggers at his friend and not caring one bit that John was seeing red. “You listen to me, John Winchester, and you listen good! When you dropped those boys off here I agree to watch out for them...but I am not their bloody drill sergeant! I am not you! I don’t mind teaching them a bit of lore, or letting them help me out with the guns but I am not gonna sit there and terrify them to death! They are just kids!” Bobby yelled, feeling like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders as he let loose on John.   
  
“Yeah they are kids...they are  _ my _ kids!” John snapped back but Bobby laughed in his face.   
  
“You’d barely know it with the way you dump them off on people any chance you get, and don’t think I don’t know that you leave them behind in frickin’ motel rooms for weeks on end while you’re out hunting whatever monster of the week you’ve got hooked on this time! If they are such a God damn inconvenience to you, leave them here! Hell, you’d be doing them a favour! Those kids don’t need an asshole like you messing with their heads!”   
  
The words were barely out of his mouth and John growled loudly, pulling his fist back and pummeling it forward, striking Bobby square in the face. The old man went down with a yell and before John knew what was happening, Sam and Dean were running across the yard yelling for their Uncle. Bobby was already on his feet by the time Dean and Sam made it to him, but he brushed off their attempts to help him and stormed over to his truck, grabbing a gun from the passenger seat. The three Winchesters stood frozen in the yard as Bobby cocked the gun and aimed at it John, growling a warning at him.   
  
“You get the hell off my property and don’t you dare come back!” Bobby said, his voice low but they heard every word of it. Sam began to cry when John rushed up behind the boys and grabbed them both, dragging them towards the car.   
  
“No! Uncle Bobby! Tell him to leave us, we wanna stay!” Sam cried out and Dean was too stunned by everything to raise his own voice, but inside his head he was pleading with Bobby to come and take them back inside. He didn’t wanna go with his dad...he wanted to stay here where it was safe.   
  
“Sam, move it!” John snapped, pushing the boy towards the car and finally managing to force him inside. Dean took one final look back at Bobby, his eyes wide and fearful, but he couldn’t see anything but the gun in Bobby’s hand.   
  
He got in the car and let his Father drive them away, Sam crying the in backseat the whole way.   
  
It was years before they would see their Uncle Bobby again.   
  
  
\----------   
  
Dean watched as the car and Bobby faded slowly away and he sighed heavily, walking slowly to the front of the house where he took a seat on the front porch. After a while, Castiel sat down beside him, appearing from nowhere in typical Angel fashion.   
  
“It wasn’t only your Father you were angry with…” Castiel said and Dean didn’t have the strength to argue with him. “You felt a great deal of anger towards Bobby Singer...Why?”   
  
“It’s stupid…” Dean muttered to himself “There was nothing he could have done.”   
  
“Dean, I told you before. This is not about what they could have done or how they were feeling...this is about you. It’s okay to be selfish with your feelings for once. Tell me why you were upset with Bobby? Castiel asked again, and Dean peered up at him with worried eyes.   
  
“He didn’t try to help us...You heard him back there, he knew what Dad was doing, leaving us alone and dropping us off whenever he could...but when we were here it was like ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ you know?” Dean swiped his hand over his face, trying to wipe the tears away before they fell. “If he’d ever learned the whole truth I don’t know what he’d have done but sometimes I wish he’d stood his ground and then maybe Sammy and I might have had a proper life.” Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean’s shoulders and let the boy lean up against him, unmindful of the tears which were staining his coat.   
  
“Bobby Singer loves you more than anything, Dean.” Castiel said when the boy had finally calmed down enough to hear him out. “I am sure if he had thought he’d stood a chance against your Father then he would have kept you here with him...but I am afraid it just would not have worked out that way. He knew that, in his heart, and he didn’t want to cause you any more pain than you had already suffered. In his own way he really was looking out for you...sometimes that man is too nice for his own good.” Cas explained and Dean nodded into his side, sighing softly as he played with the sash around Cas’ middle.   
  
“I know. I know what’s real and what’s in my head but sometimes it still hurts thinking about the ‘What Ifs’, you know?” Dean asked and Cas nodded, knowing exactly how it felt to look back on the past and wondering what you could have done differently.   
  
The sat for a long time as the sky darkened into night and finally, when Dean’s thoughts became calm once again, Cas nudged him gently to get him to look up. There was another door waiting for him in the middle of the yard, and Dean whimpered gently, burying his face back into Cas’ jacket.   
  
“How many more?” Dean asked softly.   
  
“If I were to hazard I guess...I would say two. Can you do that for me Dean?” Castiel asked and he felt the slightest of nods against his side. He helped the boy to his feet and together they approached the doorway.


	18. The Stanford Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam re-lives the night he left for Stanford, and the memories of his fathers hatred are more than he can bare.

Sam came to slowly still wrapped up tightly in Gabriel’s arms, and the boy at first panicked because of the crushing darkness all around him until he felt the gentle caress of feathers against his skin. The Archangel had wrapped his wings around the boy and was blocking out the view around him, as though he were unconsciously shielding him from any more pain.   
  
“Gabe? Where are we now?” Sam asked, almost too scared to hear the answer but knowing he had to ask. He felt Gabriel tense up all around him.   
  
“The night you left for Stanford…” Gabriel answered, tightening his grip on Sam when the boy whimpered and buried his face into the Archangels shirt.   
  
“I don’t wanna do this anymore.” Sam muttered, and Gabriel wished with all his heart that he could take the kid away and spare him any more pain and suffering, but he couldn’t. No matter how horrible this all was, it was for the best, and Sam needed him to be strong. It was with a heavy heart that Gabe gripped Sam by the forearms and pushed him back a little, forcing a smile onto his face to hide his fear from the boy.   
  
“I know you don’t kiddo but the sooner we get this over with the sooner we can find Dean and go home. And let me tell you when this is all done with I am so whisking us off for a holiday...Dad knows we need one, don’t we?” Gabe said and Sam lowered his eyes to the ground but nodded his agreement, reaching up on hand and waiting for Gabe to take it. The Archangel smiled and a traitorous thought wormed its way into his head, forcing him to shake himself to clear it away.   
  
_ “I’m gonna miss him when he’s gone…” _   
  
Gabriel wasn’t giving up, and he really did want  _ his _ Sammy back, but he knew that when this was all said and done Sam wouldn’t be the way he was now. He wouldn’t rush to him for a cuddle just because he wanted one, and he wouldn’t have that sweet innocence that allowed him to cry freely when he was hurt. He would turn hard and cold again, and Gabriel would mourn for the loss of his sweet and easy smile but...at least Sam would be Sam again, and he’d be happy...in his own way.   
  
The Archangel took his offered hand and steered him around to face the run-down old house which faced onto the road where they were standing, and with a heavy sigh he lead them up to the front door and through it.   
  
“We were staying here...well we were ‘squatting’ here while Dad took care of a hunt and I got my acceptance letter while I was at school. I think the councillors at the school knew roughly how we were living but they never pushed me for more information...but they encouraged me to go for a place and I did. I didn’t think I’d get a reply, and certainly not before we’d up’d and moved on again but I did. I brought it back and I was so sure Dad would finally be proud of me but…” Sam trailed off with a choked sob, shaking his head as he stared at the floor, unable to say anymore. As it turned out he didn’t need to explain anyway...his thoughts were doing it for him.   
  
The door flew open and the ghosts of John Winchester, Dean and Sam came barreling through it. John was red faced and livid, dragging a young Sam by the arm and throwing him through the door of the living room. The boy stumbled back and tripped over his own feet, crashing to the floor with a pain yelped. Dean yelled out at his Dad to stop and dove between his brother and his father, putting himself face to face with John.   
  
“Dad, calm down! Sam can explain this okay, just let him explain!” Dean yelled but he didn’t get to finish as his Dad reached out and grabbed him, pushing him to the side without a second look.   
  
“Sam! I can’t believe you would go and do something like this behind my back! What the hell were you thinking?!” John yelled and the Sam on the floor saw red, scrambling to his feet and storming up to his father.   
  
“That I finally had a chance to get out and do something with my life, something important!” Sam screamed in John’s face, not backing down when John growled and clenched his fists by his side.   
  
“Hunting monsters isn’t important to you?! We save the world doing what we do, and that isn’t enough for you?!” John growled but Sam sneered in his face, rolling his eyes at the man before him.   
  
“Don’t you lay that crap on me! This has nothing to do with saving the world, this is about you and your stupid crusade to avenge mom's death! You think she’d want this for us?! You think she’d want us to live this way?!”   
  
“Don’t you dare bring her into this! You didn’t even know her!”   
  
“You’re right, I didn’t know her! But I know this...she’d take one look at how you are now and she’d hate you! You are risking her sons dying like she did because you are too selfish to let us have a life of our own! Well guess what dad, you can’t tell me what to do anymore I won’t let you! You are not a father, you are a monster!!” Sam screamed, his voice breaking as he let out everything that had been building inside him for years and John broke under his words. The older man bellowed like a bull and launched at his son, but somewhere along the road he forgot that Sam was not a scared little kid anymore. Sam was a man, fully grown and hardened by years of training, and he was more than a match for his aging father. Sam sidestepped John and grabbed him as he stumbled past him, whipping him around and slamming him up against the wall. John gave as good as he took, throwing his head back and slamming it into Sam’s nose, using Sam’s surprise to work his arm loose and throw his elbow back into Sam’s gut. Sam woofed in surprise, all the air forcing its way out of his lungs, but he recovered quickly and managed to trip John up as the man rushed at him again. The pair were rolling around on the ground, throwing punches and trying to pin the other when a third body landed on top of them. It was Dean. In the midst of the chaos they had missed Dean’s screaming, and he had forced himself in amongst them to drag them apart. In that moment, both John and Sam - too caught up in their own fight to recognise the man pulling at them desperatly - each throw a punch at the other but missed, their blows landing instead on Dean, hitting him squarely in the face.   
  
A silence fell over them as they watched Dean fall, his frantic expression changing from upset to stunned and finally to pained all in a matter of seconds. He collapsed between them and lay on the floor, staring up at them with his face a bloody mess from their blows. It had only taken one punch, but Dean looked more broken then than he had ever looked before.   
  
Both Sam and John scrambled to pull the boy up, each apologising for their mistake, but Dean flinched away from them and darted away, getting to his feet quickly and backing up from them both. They stood now facing each other, and their worry morphed into hate one again but this time there were no blows to land and no words to scream. It was over, and they both knew it.   
  
“So this is it?” John asked, his voice clipped and full of disgust. “After all your brother and I have done for you, you’re just gonna walk out on us?” Sam felt his anger boiling over again - how dare John bring Dean into this - but he put a lid on it for now. He was leaving and that was all that mattered.   
  
“I am leaving. That is all there is to it. You can’t guilt me, you can’t force me...and you can’t stop me.” Sam said, and without a second look he strode past John, making quick work of packing what little items he had into his duffle bag. He didn’t have to leave now, there was still time before he was due at college but he knew if he didn’t walk out now he never would. John might not be able to stop him but Dean would grind him down in time, and he couldn’t let that happen. This was his only chance.   
  
“If you walk out that door, you are cut off do you hear me?” John barked when Sam put his hand on the doorknob. “If you walk out that door, don’t you ever come back! I swear to God Sam, we will leave your ass behind.”   
  
The real Sam shuddered at the words, and remembered all the times he had heard his own Dean echo them back at him. It always hurt him so bad when Dean mimicked their father, whether his brother meant to do it or not.   
  
The ghost Sam turned to face the room where his father and his brother stood, one panting with rage and the other slumped in defeat. He forced himself to smirk, but it felt unnatural on his face.   
  
“That’s what I want you to do.”   
  
The real Sam put his head in his hands and started to weep as the figures around him started to dissolve into nothing.   
  
  
\----------   
  
  
Gabriel helped hold Sam up as the boy cried himself out, rambling on about how he just wanted his dad to be proud of him.   
  
“I went into law so I could help people! It’s all I wanted to do was help people and he acted like I was dooming the world by leaving!” Sam wailed, shaking from head to toe with the power of his sobs. “He hated me...he hated me, my dad hated me!” Gabriel wished to his own father that he could tell Sam it wasn’t true, that his father hadn’t hated him but somewhere deep down John had resented Sam a little. He had never admitted it aloud, not even in the depths of his drunken despair had he said those words, but inside the apple was rotting away and the worms were eating at him. He loved his son, he really did, but his fear and anger built and through time he started to blame Sam unconsciously for what had happened to Mary. He would find himself thinking that perhaps if Sam had not been born, Mary would not have been targeted, and he knew that there was something growing in the boy which was not natural. Whatever it was that festered in him was the reason why his wife was killed, and that thought brought with it feelings of hatred no matter how hard he tried to deny them. Psychology was never John Winchester’s strong suit but he knew that the issue was with him, and Sam was paying the price for his anger. He did feel remorse, and he visited Sam a lot while he was at college...but he never let the boy know he was there. Dean would be welcome in Sam’s life any time he wanted, and that was another fear that grew in John’s heart. It had been hard for him to lose Sam but to lose Dean too...that thought was too hard to bare.   
  
“Your father was hurting.” Gabriel hated the words the moment they were out of his mouth and Sam obviously felt the same. The boy growled and pushed Gabriel away roughly, glaring daggers at the Archangel.   
  
“ _ He _ was hurting! He did nothing but hurt me his whole life! Dragging me away from school, my friends, my life, isolating me constantly and telling me I had to hold the world on my shoulders! Why?! Why did I have to be the one to do it! He acted like every life on the planet was our responsibility and it was our fault when someone died! Do you know what that is like?! Feeling like a murderer every time some monster crawls out of the woodwork and kills a bunch of innocent people?! I was just a kid!!” Sam screamed himself hoarse and collapsed to his knees, panting and wrapping his arms around himself. Gabriel gave him a few minutes to compose himself and finally he inched forward, kneeling down in front of the boy again and letting him rest his head against his chest. “I just wanted to stop hurting, Gabriel...I wanted to live a normal life. I couldn’t make him proud as a hunter, I couldn’t bare the pain of watching people die. I hated lying to them, and I hated the fact that I envied them. At least they could cling to something normal, Gabe, I couldn’t even pretend that the world was a happy place not when I knew what was out there in the dark. I just wanted it all to go away.” Sam finally muttered, his sobs dying out slightly as Gabe pulled him close again and embraced him.   
  
“You’re right, Sam. You didn’t deserve what he did to you, neither you nor your brother deserved it, but please look at yourself now...you became an amazing person. Everything you are now stems from your decisions - not what your father did, not what Dean did, but what  _ you _ did. You stood up to him, you stepped out on your own and made your own life. Okay, so it didn’t pan out exactly as you planned but when does it ever? You had destiny written all over your ass from the moment you were born and you know what you did…” Sam peered up at him softly. “You said ‘screw that’ and did it your own way. I know for a fact your father would be proud of you now...and he’d be ashamed of himself for how he acted. Hindsight is a kicker, huh? Whoever thought of that one needs an angel blade up the ass.” Sam grimaced a little but couldn’t hide his amused smirk and he laid his head against Gabe’s chest again, closing his eyes and willing himself to calm down as he listened to the Archangels heartbeat.   
  
“What do we do now?” Sam asked when he had finally relaxed enough to speak clearly.   
  
“We just move right on down the road, Sammy, one step at a time. Just let yourself move on…” Gabriel said with a smile, brushing Sam’s hair out of his red eyes, and as they stared at one another they heard the sound of the front door creaking open.   
  
It was time to move on.


	19. Forsaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's memories turn to fear which has to be overcome before he can face his final challenge, but will he be able to forgive the one person he hates the most...

It was dark. Dean felt his breath stop short in his lungs and he held onto that one puff of air for the longest time, listening intently for any noise which might give away the game. He had no idea where he was or what was happening but he knew he needed to find Castiel and get this god damned memory over with as quickly as possible. He raised both his hands out in front of him and felt nothing but the air before him, so, as slowly as possible, he started to inch forward, not daring to move too fast in case he collided with something solid. Finally, after several tense minutes, his hands pressed against something wooden, and a little feeling around easily located a handle...it was another door. He turned the handle and pushed the door open, breathing a sigh of relief when he found himself standing on the threshold of Bobby’s panic room, but his relief was short lived...in the centre of the dimly lit room was a bed...and sitting on the bed with his back to Dean, was a dark-haired, trenchcoated man. He had found Castiel.   
  
“Cas…” Dean asked tentatively, taking careful steps forward even though he could see just fine now. Something inside him tugged uncomfortably and he knew without having to look that something wasn’t right with his friend. As he worked his way around the bed to face the angel, his lungs stopped working altogether.   
  
Castiel was a mess. He was hunched over with his face buried in his hands, his hair matted and greasy, sticking up in odd directions as though he had run his hands through it repeatedly. His trench coat was covered in blood and grime, and a pale silvery blue liquid that Dean recognised instantly as Grace, which was spreading slowly over his clothes and onto the bed, pooling on the mattress grotesquely. Dean leapt forward and took a hold of Cas’ shoulders, panic seeping through his veins as he determined to find the source of the Angel’s injury but as he made contact he screamed in pain, his hands clenching up around his friends thin -  _too thin_ \- arms and locking in place so he couldn’t have let go even though he desperately wanted to do just that. Cas’ whole body shuddered at the touch and slowly he raised his face from his hands, dull eyes locking with Dean’s own and mouth opening slowly to speak. Dean screamed again when a flood of blood and grace poured from Cas’ mouth and soaked his chin, neck and shirt.   
  
“Dean…” Cas spluttered, choking on his own essence. “Why?! Why would you do this to me?” The angel cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. Dean shook his head and tried to pull away but he couldn’t let go, and his palms had started to burn like hellfire. “Why can’t you just let me go?  _I rebelled for this?!_ ” Dean snapped his eyes shut as he watched a replay of the beating Cas had once given him in the alleyway, but even as the darkness fell again behind his eyelids the movie rolled on, breaking him with images of every time Cas had been hurt by his hands. Dean hadn’t even realised that amidst his screaming he was pleading with the Angel, begging him to forgive him. It was all slurred into one broken noise which refused to quit, and the hunter hadn’t even realised that another voice had joined the ruckus.   
  
“Dean! You have to listen to me Dean, please, that isn’t me!” The voice pleaded with him, but his attention was locked to the broken shell on the bed.   
  
_“How could you let me become this, Dean?”_   
  
“I did this all for you! I wanted this! It was not your fault!”   
  
_“I gave up everything for you, and you turned me away!”_   
  
“You had no choice, Dean, don’t listen to it!”   
  
_“Why, Dean? Don’t you love me?”_ The voice had turned mocking, and Dean’s eyes finally snapped open to reveal his own face only inches away, his own body sitting where Cas had been only minutes before. The hunter thought he was going to pass out from fear.  _“Don’t you love him, Dean? It’s okay you can say it, I know...I’m you! I’ve seen it all and boy I gotta tell you, you are one sick fucking puppy! I mean after everything you’ve done, all the people you tortured and all the times you ruined someone’s life...you managed to top yourself by making a freakin’ angel fall for you...and then turning your back on him?”_ The thing wearing his face whistled and chuckled darkly.  _“That, my friend, was harsh even by our standards. What would your daddy think of you? Oh, yeah sorry, I forgot...he’d think you were a fuckin’ faggot! He’d be ashamed  if he saw the way you beat off every morning thinking about that angel fucking your ass...dirty fuckin’ sissy boy! You’re disgusting! You should have stayed in hell, Dean, cause it’s where you belong! If you’d have just stayed put none of this would have happened! Sammy would have went back to Stanford and made a happy life for himself. Castiel wouldn’t have lost his family and his home and his reputation because of you and your problems. Ellen and Joe? They’d still be alive. Ash. Bobby...Do I need to go on? Just think for a minute about how many people are dead because of you? Why don’t you just do the right thing and kill yourself now? People would mourn for awhile but they’d get over it and they’d move on, they’d have a chance to be happy without you and your self worth issues pulling them down. Go on, Dean, do it! For once in your pathetic life, be a man and kill yourself!!”_   
  
“ENOUGH!!” The real Castiel screamed, his hands flying out to grab the fake Dean by the face and suddenly it exploded into black smoke, leaving nothing but the faint smell of sulfur in the air. Dean, finally free from his death grip, sank to the floor in a heap without even attempting to catch himself and Castiel remained on his feet, looming over the trembling man before him.   
  
“Is that really what you think of yourself?” Castiel said in a deadly whisper, and Dean flinched as though he had yelled at the top of his lungs.   
  
“No…” Dean answered him without looking up. “That’s about three seconds of what I think on a daily basis...there is more but it’s too much to say out loud.” Castiel growled softly at his words and turned his back, breathing heavily as he clenched and unclenched his fists. “What was that thing?” Dean asked, waiting on edge for an answer. He had expected another memory but not this...whatever it was that he’d just seen.   
  
“A fear.” Castiel finally said, his voice strained and slightly hoarse which caused Dean to finally peer up at him. “I should have known this might happen, I apologise...you see when memories become so deeply ingrained and painful to deal with the mind tries to set up defences against it, but in some cases those memories can all meld together and become one concentrated mass which is almost pure fear. It is made up of everything, your worst nightmares, your most horrible memories, every single emotional blow you were ever dealt or dealt yourself...It can be soul destroying to encounter so much hate and fear all at once.” Castiel finally turned to face him once again, and his face was tightened into a frown. “Yours is particularly potent.” Dean huffed, smirking unpleasantly.   
  
“Well, let it never be said I wasn’t good at hating myself.” Dean muttered, cringing backwards when the angel snarled and advanced on him menacingly.   
  
“Do  _not_ talk about yourself that way, Dean Winchester! What has happened in your past was the direct result of what was done  _to_ you by others…” Cas snapped and Dean rolled his eyes, unable to help himself even though his mind was screaming at him not to anger his friend any further. “Answer me this, Dean...Would you have pulled Sam away from his studies if you had not feared for your Father’s life?” Cas asked and Dean bit his lip nervously, averting his eyes. “And would you have sold your soul for anything other than the life of your brother? Riches, power, sexual prowess...these things mean nothing to you, but his life meant everything. How about the souls you tortured in hell...would you have done that if you hadn’t feared the pain you would endure if you refused?”   
  
“That doesn’t make it right, Cas, I should have stayed strong!” Dean snapped, finally pulling himself to his feet to face off against the angel.   
  
“No Dean! No! You could not have remained strong, hell is designed to break you! Angels would have broke quicker than you did! You lasted thirty years under their master torturer, they feared you because of it!” Dean’s mouth dropped open and Castiel smirked slightly at his friends shock. “You didn’t know that, did you? That they were, what is it you say,  _scared shitless_ ? Alistair became more violent with you day by day, not because he was upping his game, but because he was angry and afraid. You outlasted their best, and you still would not break! But Dean, you were not made of stone…” Cas seemed to have shouted himself out, and his voice became softer, shaking slightly as he surveyed Dean with watery eyes. “You couldn’t have done more, Dean, you couldn’t have carried on...and it is not your fault...it was mine.” Dean’s head snapped up and he stared at Castiel in shock.   
  
“What do you mean...I don’t underst…”   
  
“I should have gotten to you sooner...I should have been stronger and quicker, I was supposed to save you before you broke! You should never have been subjected to such torture, but they wanted you to break before I could get to you so they slowed me up. I didn’t know it at the time, but they were holding me back throwing obstacles in my path, Dean I should have seen it and tried harder! You were my mission, my charge, and I failed you as I have continued to do so time and time again and for that I am sorry...Dean, I am so sorry!” Castiel was babbling, tears coming thick and fast as he spoke and Dean couldn’t bear to watch it any longer. Without thinking, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around the angel, pulling him close and tight into his arms, whispering gently in his ear.   
  
“Shh, Cas, you can’t blame yourself for that, you had both sides working against you and you couldn’t have known what they were going to do! This wasn’t your fault!” Dean said, trying to comfort Castiel but as he spoke and the Angel’s sobbing ebbed away, he found himself being pushed back gently until he was standing once again facing his friend.   
  
“Dean...why do you find it so easy to forgive others when you can’t find it in your heart to forgive yourself?” Castiel asked gently, hating himself to his core for cutting right to the heart of Dean’s fear, but knowing he had no choice if he wanted to save his friend. Dean had no time to answer, because Castiel’s eyes went wide again and stared down at something behind the hunter. Whipping around, Dean was stunned to see the figure of himself now sitting in front of him, down on the floor at his feet as though when he had stood up only a moment ago he had left his body behind him. It was one of the oddest things Dean had ever seen. A hand on his shoulder brought his attention back to Castiel, and he looked over his shoulder at the Angel, fearful of what was coming next. “You have to forgive yourself, Dean...otherwise you will never be able to move forward.”   
  
The thing on the floor lifted its head to them, and although Dean knew it was him he had a hard time looking at himself. His mouth was twisted into a carnival style grin, almost painted on and fake, and his eyes were black.   
  
_“What could you possibly offer someone like him?_ ” It asked and Dean took a deep breath, stepping forward slowly.   
  
“He’s family. I’ll give him whatever he wants.” Dean answered, sounding more confident than he felt inside.   
  
_“Oh, I just bet you will! Anything so he’ll stay with you right, Dean? Anything so you won’t have to be alone.”_   
  
“No. I’d rather be alone than hurt anyone…”   
  
_“But you have hurt people. You hurt people every day.”_   
  
“That’s...not my fault. I can’t help everyone.” Dean said, casting his mind back to every conversation he’d had with Sammy and Cas...every time they’d tried to knock some sense into him. It seemed to work in keeping him calm, and slowly the face on the monster was changing. It seemed to be softening.   
  
_“Don’t lie to yourself, Dean! You are worth nothing! You’re a liar, a thief, a whore...and a murderer!”_ The thing screamed, but it was twisting in on itself, the eyes flickering rapidly between black and green as Dean stood his ground above it.   
  
“I have lied when I have needed to…” Dean said, taking a deep steadying breath. “I’ve stolen to feed my brother when he was hungry...I’ve sold myself to men to keep Sam and I alive when Dad abandoned us again...and I’ve killed a million times over, and tomorrow I’ll wake up and do it all over again. All of these things I’ve done I can’t change that now, but I wish I could. If I could change it all then maybe we could have had a life that didn’t force me to lie, steal and…” Dean shuddered, trying to block out the memories of his childhood and fighting to keep himself on his feet. He had to stay strong, he couldn’t break this time. “If I could change it, I would. I can’t...but I can’t keep living in guilt over what I’ve done. I said I was sorry! I paid my debt!” The monster on the floor writhed in pain, screaming loud and louder the longer Dean spoke and finally it crumpled to the floor, laying there in a whimpering heap as the real Dean knelt down beside it and placed a gentle hand on its back.   
  
_“Please…”_ It croaked, looking up at its twin with broken eyes.  _“Kill me?”_   
  
“No.” Dean said with a small smile which didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re a real bastard, Dean Winchester...but you don’t deserve to die.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I forgive you.”   
  
When Dean opened his eyes again, his double was gone, and all that was left was the steady weight of Castiel at his back, holding onto him as he sobbed with relief. It felt like someone had opened his veins and slowly but surely all the poison in his life was flowing out of him. Castiel was muttering in his ear how proud he was of him, and hushing him as he tried to speak, wanting to know why his body felt like it was on fire.   
  
“Hush, Dean, it is all going to be alright...you are changing…” Castiel said, unable or unwilling to keep the excitement out of his voice. Dean lifted his hand and watched in awe as his fingers began to lengthen, and pain rippled through him as his bone started to stretch and pull, but Castiel kept a tight hold on him, whispering to him comfortingly until the change started to ease off before disappearing completely. Dean collapsed back into Cas’ arms and allowed himself to be wrapped up against his friend, body curled up against Cas’ and head tucked under his chin.   
  
“Cas...Thank you…” Dean whispered and Castiel chuckled, hesitating for only a second before pressing his lips against the top of Dean’s head, kissing him lightly.   
  
“You’re welcome.” Dean smiled to himself and pressed his own lips against Cas’ neck, before closing his eyes and falling asleep.


	20. Our Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys face their final hurdle and Dean's repressed emotions finally break free of their chains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It physically hurt me to write this chapter, and I needed to take several breaks while writing just to calm myself before continuing on. I know not everyone will have the same reaction that I did but since I am so used to writing fluff and stuff, angst on this level effects me a lot. I hope everyone likes it, and I just wanna say any hardcore John lovers in the audience, no disrespect meant but in this story he is not a nice person and thats just how I wrote it. If you don't like the idea of an evil John, turn back now.

Dean came slowly back to full consciousness, fully aware that he was still being cradled in the warm embrace of his angel but now there were other figures hovering at the edge of his vision, just out of sight and blurred so he couldn’t make out who they were or what they were doing. He tensed suddenly, ready to fight if he needed to, but Cas tightened his hold and leant over him, his lips brushing the shell of Dean’s ear.   
  
“Hush, Dean. There is no reason to be afraid, it is only Sam and Gabriel.” Castiel said, smiling when Dean’s eyes snapped opened, suddenly wide and alert. He squirmed a little more in Castiel’s grip, a blush tinging his cheeks at the thought of being held so intimately in front of his brother and his...brother-in-law? A small chuckle from Gabriel brought him out of his thoughts.   
  
“Chill, Deano, we’re not here to judge. Hell  _ I _ am the last person who should be judging others...Besides, you look downright cute from where I’m standing.” Gabriel jeered, laughing outright when Dean turned around to scowl at the Archangel, flipping him off but no longer squirming to extract himself from Cas’ grip. It was a lost cause anyway, the Angel was way too strong and if he wanted Dean to stay then who was Dean to fight him on it.   
  
“He has a point, Dean. You do look rather adorable.” Castiel said, smiling down at Dean even as the hunter scowled back. Dean huffed and did his best to glare frighteningly at Cas but he had a suspicion that it was coming off as more of a pout than a bone chilling look of terror, and if Castiel’s amused expression was anything to go by the Angel was finding it all kinds of cute.   
  
“Not to break up this cozy little reunion or anything, but what the hell are we all doing here?” Gabriel asked, his question snapping Castiel and Dean out of what was sure to be another epic staring match.   
  
“I was thinking the same thing, how come we are all here together this time? Is that it, is it over?” Sam asked almost hopefully but even as Dean got to his feet and stared around at the empty room, he could not bring himself to hope that they were finally done with this whole ordeal. By his logic they still had one more hurdle to overcome, one last rotten hunk of past to carve out of their bodies before they would be poison free, and it was going to be the toughest one yet.   
  
“I am afraid not, Sam, but I do believe we are close to the end now. It would seem that whatever this last event is, whatever pain you must overcome now, is a shared one. I could offer you my opinion on what that would be but I doubt you need much prompting to guess…” Castiel explained, his gaze flicking almost nervously between the two brothers as they shared a worried look.   
  
“Dad...we need to face off with Dad, right?” Dean asked, his heart hammering in his chest and plummeting to the pit of his stomach when Castiel nodded. Sam growled softly and stared at the floor, his face contorted into a look of rage but Dean could only stare off into the empty space between himself and the wall, too preoccupied in his own thoughts to really hear the comforting words Castiel was trying to say.   
  
_ “...be with you the whole time...never let anything happen to you...one last pain and it’s all over with...you’ll be free!” _   
  
Free. Dean couldn’t even fathom the word. Cas might as well have been speaking in Enochian because nothing he was saying was making any sense to Dean. The hunter tried and failed to imagine what it would be like to feel free, to be completely cleansed off all his pain and suffering, and to be able to say and do the things he had wanted for so long without his mind biting back at him. For as long as Dean could remember, every decision he made was done so only after the ghost of John Winchester had voiced its opinion, a sneering, taunting voice which existed only in Dean’s head but could force his hand into action and hold him back if it wanted. No action was taken without John’s say so, and any move made against his wishes was paid for most heavily when Dean lay in bed at night, alone with only his thoughts. Alcohol helped, so did sex, but that voice was only ever postponed never beaten, never gone for good. Fighting him was like fighting the tides, no matter how hard you raged against it, the tide would eventually come in and wash away all traces of your presence on the beach. That was how Dean felt sometimes, like whatever footprints he left in the sand would be destroyed the moment John came to wash him away, and the parts of Dean which had once been strong like stone were slowly being eroded by the ever present tide. You couldn’t beat the tide, the tide beat you. It might take a century, or two or three, but eventually...it would come to get you, and you would be powerless against its silent, creeping wrath.   
  
A hand came down on Dean’s shoulder, causing him to yelp and flinch away in fright, but it was only Castiel; beautiful, strong, fearless Castiel. The angel who had saved him from the darkness of the pit, the one who had stood by him come hell or high water...Castiel, who could hold back the tide if he wanted. Dean smiled at him and the angel smiled back, never wavering in his happiness even as he scanned the hunter’s mind and saw his uneasy thoughts. That was one of the things Dean liked about him, because he saw all there was to Dean and still he did not look away, didn’t cower under his self-hatred and didn’t shy away from his sins. Castiel understood, and he loved Dean regardless of his faults. Even though Dean had told the angel several times not to go snooping inside his head he knew that it wasn’t always something Cas did voluntarily and so he gave him a free pass...most of the time...because Castiel didn’t judge him on what he found inside of him, no matter how tainted those thoughts may be.   
  
“Are you ready to face your Father, Dean?” Castiel asked and Dean gulped, nodding finally when he found he could not trust his own voice. The Angel helped him to his feet and steered him around, walking him towards another door which had appeared in the wall. They stopped just outside and Cas’ grip became very tight on Dean’s shoulder. “I will be right here with you, Dean.” The corner of Dean’s mouth twitched, which was about as close to a smile as he was capable of getting at this moment, and the hunter took one last look over his shoulder to where Sammy and Gabriel were standing, waiting on him to make his first move. Dean took a deep steadying breath, and slowly pushed the door open, stepping over the threshold to face whatever was waiting on the other side. He was ready.   
  
  
\----------   
  
  
The room they entered was circular, dark and smelt strongly of burnt flesh and sulfur, a smell Sam and Dean knew all too well, and the Angels at their backs recoiled at the overwhelming scents around them. Dean stopped dead in his tracks and placed his hand over his face, willing himself to breath through his mouth as much as possible to save himself from the smell but it wasn’t working - Hell had a way of tainting your entire being from the inside out the moment you stepped into its depths, and everything from the heat to the smell invaded your body as though being sucked in through the very pores in your skin. It was disgusting.   
  
Cas’ placed a hand on Dean’s back, rubbing slow circles to calm him and after a moment the hunter felt able to walk again, though his steps were clumsy and slow. They wandered further into the dark, the room vast and seemingly never-ending, but finally through the darkness they saw a figure gradually appearing in the distance. As they moved closer to it, Sam noticed it was a man, sitting cross-legged and hunched over on the floor, oblivious to their presence. He was muttering to himself.   
  
_ “Wouldn’t have happened...Shouldn’t have...I had a plan! I had it all worked out...never listened, spiteful, arrogant...spared the rod, too soft on them…” _ Sam and Dean had stopped several feet away and were staring down at the man on the floor, the younger Winchester too stunned to speak.   
  
“...Dad?” Dean asked, finally breaking the silence which had grown thick around them like a swamp, trying to suck them down into the dark. The figure twitched and raised its head, eyes bloodshot and blurry as it tried to focus on them. A look of leering recognition passed over its face and only a small part of Dean registered this thing as his father - all familial resemblance seemed to have been worn away, leaving only a clown’s mask of familiarity about it, a parody of humanity. It seemed to Dean that this was not his father anymore, but only a wooden lookalike, craved by a creature who had only a little idea of what John Winchester had looked like when he was alive. Dean’s brain was struggling to make sense of it, his two minds warring with one another on whether or not this thing was John or Not-John, a battle which was wearing him down second by second. The thing opened its mouth and began to speak, and if nothing else about this creature rang true at least it sounded like his father.   
  
“...I gave you  _ one _ job to do, boy. One job. What was it?” John asked, slowly getting to his feet and dislodging an empty bottle of what looked like whiskey from his lap, the clink and rattle as it hit the floor echoing around the room. Dean wanted more than anything to break his eye contact with John but fear kept him locked in the staring match, old instinct telling him not to look away...only cowards and sissy boys looked away.   
  
“Watch out for Sammy.” Dean said, his voice low and quivering despite his best efforts to keep it steady.   
  
“Watch out for Sammy.” John nodded, a smirk playing on his lips as his eyes flicked to Sam for only a moment then back to his shaking son. “Was it too difficult for you, or something? Did I overestimate your ability to keep your damn mind in the game?” John barked, stepping forward and moving slowly towards Dean.   
  
“I tried…” Dean said, the only words he seemed capable of saying as John stepped up to him and put himself face to face with his boy.   
  
“You tried. You failed. My useless piece of shit son failed at the only job I ever gave him...and it wasn’t even a man’s job! I gave you the woman’s work and you couldn’t even get that right!” John’s eyes flickered to the point on Dean’s shoulder where Castiel’s hand was gripping him tightly, grounding him even as he shook and fought with himself to stay standing. “Then again I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything less from a little faggot like you…” Dean flinched and finally lowered his head, hiding his tear stained face from his father. “Sneaking off to suck cock always was more important to you than watching out for your little brother right? You think I didn’t know what you were doing the day Sam ran off? Or the night he was attacked? He was left in danger because his brother was a whore, because you left him to go walk the streets until some trucker was willing to pay for your ass!” John scoffed, hand darting out to grab Dean by the face and yank him up to look at him. “Some brother...no wonder the little bastard turned to demons...I’d have done the same. I’d have done anything to get rid of you. If I had felt for one moment that it was safe to leave that little monster alone with humans, I’d have dropped you off on the side of the road and never looked back. You were just a babysitter to me, Dean, a cheap and easy guard dog for the monster I spawned with your mother. You meant nothing to me.”   
  
“ENOUGH!” Sam screamed, distracting John from Dean long enough for the elder hunter to pull himself out of his father’s grip and stumble backwards into Castiel’s arms. The angel held him tightly as he sobbed, the weight of his father’s words pulling him down and closing like a vice around his heart. John leered at Sammy and started towards him now, unconcerned about the son he was leaving behind.   
  
“Sammy. Long time no see...How’s Stanford treating you, and that pretty little blonde you hooked up with? I heard that idea went up in flames!” John joked, chuckling even as Sam stiffened, the mention of Jess cutting through him like a knife. “Well I can’t say I was surprised to hear about it, I mean let’s be honest Sam this whole thing was your fault after all. Did you honestly think that some hell-spawn like you was gonna live the apple pie life...college, job, wife kids? White picket fence and all? Maybe a little dog running around the yard? You didn’t really think you were going to have all of that did you? No. You weren’t going to have that life Sam, you didn’t deserve that life. Even if Azazel hadn’t come after Jess to get to you, I’d have done it myself...There was no way in hell I was letting you get off so easily, not after what you did to Mary. You killed my wife, your own mother, it’s  _ your _ fault she is dead...and I’d have made you pay for that one way or the other.”   
  
“...stop it…”   
  
“Tell me, how did it feel Sam? Coming home and finding the love of your life pinned to the ceiling, finally coming face to face with the truth, watching her burn, hearing her scream? How did it feel? You wanna know how I felt when it happened to Mary?”   
  
“Shut up!”   
  
“Oh, you don’t wanna know how you killed your own father inside, broke him in every possible way? You know, the one thought that plagued me more than anything else in the years after she died...was that if I hadn’t have gotten drunk that night, if I hadn’t have come home and fucked your mother, then you’d have never been born in the first place and I’d still be at home with my family. You took that from me the day you were born. You were an accident waiting to happen and I wish you’d have died before you had the chance to hurt her.   
  
“SHUT UP!” Sam screamed, launching himself forward and tackling his father to the ground. The older man was stunned for a moment but quickly caught up with his boy, rolling the pair around until he was on top. He lashed out at Sam with his fists, punching at every inch of him even as Sam grappled with him, trying to buck him off and reaching out to wrap his hands around John’s throat.   
  
“SAM!” The younger Winchester heard his brother scream and only a moment later he felt the weight of John leaving him as Dean appeared behind the man and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, heaving him backwards and away from his brother.   
  
It was chaos.   
  
Dean had lost whatever sense had been left him, holding him back, and now that it was loose he was taking no prisoners. John was slammed up against the wall with force enough to snap his neck, but even that was not enough to kill this ugly memory of him. Dean had him pinned and was lashing out at him with the fierceness of a wild animal, all the while screaming in his face as he landed blow after blow onto his father’s body.   
  
“You selfish no good son of a bitch!!” Dean pummeled his fist into John’s gut, winding the man in an instant. “You always do this! You always blamed us for her death, you always blamed Sammy for killing her and me for not doing enough!! Did you ever love us?! Did you ever care?! Our whole lives you tossed us aside, always off fighting to avenge her, never caring about the kids you left behind!! You cared more about Adam than you did about us!! You left us to be with him and never once let me know you were okay!! I spent my life starving…” Dean punched him again, his free hand around John’s neck the only thing holding the man up. “Freezing!” Another blow broke John’s nose, splattering Dean’s face in blood but the hunter was too gone to notice. “Whoring to make money to feed Sam…” Dean’s knee came up, smashing into John’s groin without mercy. “And you still found a way to put me down for not doing enough?! I did everything for that kid!! I did more for him than you ever did for me!! I LOVE MY BROTHER, I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU EVIL SELFISH BASTARD, WHY WON’T YOU JUST FUCKING DIE!” Dean felt hands on his shoulders, several people pulling him away even as he fought to keep punching his father, but the angels and his brother were stronger than he was and managed to yank him away. Castiel took over, easily pulling Dean into his arms and locking him in place, not caring one bit that the hunter was now venting his frustrations on his best friend. Blows rained down on Cas’ chest but the Angel remained still and silent, stroking Dean’s back, and eventually the blows got softer, finally dying out completely with one heartbroken wail.   
  
John had slumped down the wall in a broken and bloody heap, and slowly he managed to move himself around, dragging his limp body across the floor until he was seated back where he started, hunched over on the floor and muttering to himself once again. It was like the whole scene had been reset.   
  
Sam was standing off to one side, eyes darting nervously between John and Dean but neither seemed to be making a move to get at one another again, and the silence descended once again. When Sam finally felt capable of moving he shuffled over to where his brother was standing, cradled in Cas’ arms, and gently he pressed a hand into Dean’s back.   
  
“Dean...Nothing he said was true...this whole thing, our entire lives, this was not our fault! You have to believe me…” Sam looked pleadingly up at Castiel who nodded and reached down to stroke Dean’s hair away from his face.   
  
“It’s true, Dean, none of this was your doing...you have been played with all your live by one force or another, each intent on using you for their own purposes. Heaven, Hell, your father, all of them wanted a puppet, there was nothing you could have done to stop the tide.” Dean flinched at the analogy, suddenly feeling vulnerable to the Angel’s gaze, but another hand on his shoulder brought his attention around to Gabriel.   
  
“You weren’t supposed to be as strong as you have turned out to be, kiddo, you really threw them for a loop when you started to rebel against the  _ plan _ ...but when it comes to  _ that _ …” The Archangel jerked his head towards the thing on the floor behind him. “You were emotionally blackmailed by the idea of family, too institutionalised by his ideals to even think of disobeying him. This was not your fault...none of it was your fault, and you did the best you could with the shit you were given.  _ You  _ raised this amazing guy right here.” Gabriel’s free hand reached out to pat Sammy on the shoulder. “ _ You _ provided for him, kept him safe and warm and fed, and you were the one kept on fighting no matter what life threw at you. No one could have handled that better than you did, Dean Winchester, and I know for a fact that the few people in this life who are really family - Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Kevin, Charlie...they all admire you so much for how strong you have been. Now you have to be strong again, and end this cycle before it kills you both...You can’t hold crap like this in anymore, it’s too much. You have to let it go now Dean.” Dean let his eyes wander over to his father once again but he couldn’t look for too long, unable to handle the sight of him broken and bleeding on the floor.   
  
“I don’t know how. I can’t forgive him, guys, I just can’t do it! He never once showed any remorse for it, how can I forgive him for something like that...I can’t, I can’t do it!” Dean whined softly, burying his face into Cas’ chest.   
  
“Maybe you don’t have to forgive him…” Cas said quietly, allowing Dean to cry freely as he spoke gently to him. “You are holding onto so much hate right now, but sometimes Dean forgiveness is not the answer. Many people are unable to forgive others...but it doesn’t mean they have to allow their hatred rule their lives. Perhaps, in this case, it is better to simply bid your father goodbye and to walk away...Leave this burden behind and never look back.”   
  
“...is that even possible…” Dean muttered, more to himself than to anyone else, but he felt the warmth of his family around him, blanketing him with their bodies and holding him tightly to reassure him. Finally, with a deep sigh, he pushed himself back from Castiel, making sure to keep a tight hold on the Angel’s hand so Cas knew this was not a rejection...but this was something he would have to do alone. With a final smile at his angel and the others, he turned to face his father.   
  
“I gave you one job to do, Dean…” His father muttered, but the man was not looking at Dean anymore, this was just a record stuck in a loop, screeching out the same old crap that had been played so many times before and Dean was no longer listening to it.   
  
“You told me to watch out for Sam, and I did it, but I didn’t do it because you told me to, Dad. I watched over Sammy every day of my life because that was the right thing to do, because I loved my brother more than I loved anything else...because I loved him the way you were supposed to love us. I gave Sammy everything I could give him and when we ran low I gave him mine, because that’s what a father is supposed to do, and we didn’t have a father. We just had you. Don’t get me wrong, Dad, I defended you constantly to everyone that tried to say a bad word against you because I loved you despite everything you did to me but you never made it easy to love you. You pushed us away, ran off for months on end on some new hunt but let’s be honest here Dad, the hunt didn’t matter by the end did it? You just wanted to be as far away from us as you could so you didn’t have to look into our eyes and see our mother staring back at you. You couldn’t stand seeing her and wondering what she would think of you if she ever found out that you raised us to be the exact thing she had tried so hard to avoid for us. It was a betrayal to her memory, you raising us as hunters, and you knew that...so you ran from it every chance you had, and you drank yourself into a coma every night you had to spend with us. The only thing you ever did with me was try to whip me into being just like you, because you’d rather see me as a clone of you than a clone of her, but that could never have worked out because there is one major difference between you and me...know what that is dad?” The figure on the floor finally stared up at Dean, its eyes lost and broken. “You put the whole damned world ahead of your own children...but I have always and will always put Sammy first, and the world can go and fuck itself.” Dean pointed towards his brother and growled lowly. “He  _ is _ my world! I will do  _ anything _ to protect him. You called me weak? I have taken on Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, and every single supernatural creature that came from them and I have done all of it for him! If I can save people along the way then great, but if not it will always be his gigantor ass that I pull out of the flames. That’s the difference between us, Dad. I actually know what family means but you...you never knew the meaning of the word.” Dean took a deep breath and walked forward again, kneeling down in front of his father and reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry things had to happen the way they did, and I am sorry you couldn’t pick yourself back up after mom died...but that was not our fault.  _ You _ pushed people away,  _ you _ choose to drink instead of take care of your boys, and it’s no ones fault but your own that at least one of your sons hated you. I tried so hard not to Dad, I really did...and even now I love you just as much as I hate you...but I can’t do this to myself anymore. I have a family to care for and a world to look after when I am done taking care of their dumb asses...I have no room in my heart left for your hatred. I’m sorry.” Dean got to his feet and turned his back on John, walking towards the exit without looking back.   
  
“Goodbye, John.”


	21. Time For Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Gabriel deal with the aftermath of the curse...but will it really be as bad as they are expecting or will the boys surprise them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Ladies and Gentleman, this is it! Final chapter! There will be one more after this, a sort of Epilogue but all in all that is the main story complete. I've had a few people so far request that I do a sequel to this one and I am seriously considering it but if you all would like a second part to this verse please let me know down in the comments. Don't forget to click that kudos button if you enjoyed my work, and please leave me some love in the comments section if you feel inclined to do so! I have to admit I loved the reaction I got from people, and this fic has fast become my most viewed and most loved fic on A03, but it is by no means my only fic so if you are looking for more fun just give my page a visit and see if you find something else to your liking.
> 
> Thank you for everything guys, I love each and every one of you with all my heart! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Dean was silent as Castiel and Gabriel escorted both himself and Sammy back into the house and straight up the stairs to bed, completely bypassing Cookie who had come running up to them the moment the door opened and began barking for attention. Sammy was the only one who showed a glimmer of recognition, reaching down to pat the dog on the head but not speaking a word or looking down at the pup as he did so, making the action more automatic than anything else. Castiel could barely contain his worry as he lay Dean back on the bed and started to remove his clothing, dressing him for bed which he knew in his heart was something the hunter would have raged against had he been in his right mind. Now, as he looked over the man’s prone and all but lifeless body, he bit his lip and shared a concerned look with his brother, who was having the same issue with Sam the next bed over. Dean didn’t make a sound as Castiel pulled his pajama pants up, lifting his legs to help ease them up like he would with a baby, and finally sat him up so he could pull a shirt over his head. Once the pair were laid out in bed and tucked in, the Angels crept from the room to leave them to sleep off the worst of their adventures.    
  
“I’m worried about them, Gabriel. Dean would never have allowed me to manhandle him so if he were not completely traumatised...what if he doesn’t come out of it? What if he is stuck this way?” Castiel raved when they finally made it back to the kitchen and well out of earshot of the boys. Gabriel made a beeline for the coffee maker and started putting together a cup, desperate to get some caffeine into his system but too drained by the alternate reality he’d just created to snap any up for himself and Cas.   
  
“He’ll be fine once he gets some sleep, Cassie, Sam to, they just need to sleep it off.” Gabriel said, refusing to look at his brother for fear of showing just how frightened he really was despite his strong words.   
  
“Who are you trying to convince, Gabriel, me or yourself? Let’s face the facts here, we know little to nothing about the long term effects of that spell, and even if they are now somehow purged of their soul destroying memories what does that leave of their personalities? Human beings are built on their experiences, it is what makes them who they are as people, and to attempt to physically remove those from their minds...It was reckless and downright dangerous! How could we have gone ahead with it!” Castiel ranted, pacing back and forth across the kitchen and barely noticing the mug of coffee that was thrust into his hands. “If we have hurt them in any way, I swear I will…”   
  
“You’ll what, Cas? Kill yourself? Yeah cause that would make  _ everything _ better right?” Gabriel said in a snarky tone, snapping unconsciously as he stared down into the dark depths of his mug. Castiel finally stopped pacing and stared around at Gabriel with a hurt look in his eyes, causing Gabriel to sigh heavily and slam his coffee down on the counter, slumping forward to place his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Cas, I don’t mean to snap but damn it I am worried to okay! I can’t stand the thought of hurting them anymore but fuck what the hell were we supposed to do! We couldn’t just leave them that way and we didn’t have any better options! They’d have done the same thing! Isn’t that the ‘Winchester Way’...when in doubt take a shot in the dark? Damn it, what else could we do, Cas?” Gabriel said, his voice defeated and forlong. Castiel sighed and took a seat beside Gabriel, throwing an arm around his shoulder and pulling him in for a close hug.   
  
“I’m sorry I upset you, Gabriel, I am just so worried for them both. I do not wish to be the bringer of more suffering in their lives…” Castiel admitted, smiling softly when Gabriel looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.   
  
“Are you planning on releasing Hell on Earth or creating a whole new species of Supernatural nasty on the world? Cause if not I’d say you and I are in the clear…” Gabriel said, smirking when Castiel laughed softly.   
  
“Yeah I suppose you are correct...seriously though, what are we going to do if the worst really does happen?” Castiel asked, biting his lip nervously.   
  
“I guess we stick to the second rule of the ‘Winchester Way’ and cross that bridge when we come to it. What else can we do?” Gabriel asked, the pair falling silent as they stared up the stairs to where their charges were slumbering peacefully.   
  
  
\----------   
  
  
When Dean awoke from his sleep it was already light out, and his head felt blurry and filled with wool, as though he had been asleep for a fairly long time. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept so long or so deeply, but one good thing was that there had been no nightmares this time around - Or at least none that he could remember, but a win was a win was a win.   
  
He swung his legs out of bed and frowned, staring confusedly at the cowboy print pajamas he was wearing, and a quick check in the mirror above the dresser confirmed that he was once again a full grown man and in no way supposed to be wearing kids pajamas. He wracked his brain trying to remember how he got to bed last night, and a terrible memory resurfaced of him lying flat on his back being dressed by Castiel. A blush crept over his face and he pushed the memory away quickly, trying not to think too hard on the sight he must have made being dressed like a baby by their Daddy while he laid there and just let the Angel work. He must have been pretty out of it not to make any kind of fuss but after the night he had been through, he guessed it wasn’t too unusual to be a little worse for wear. A quick search of the room and Dean found his clothes, thankfully, and he took them into the bathroom with him, deciding on a long hot shower before he dressed. As he passed by Sammy’s bed he saw the kid was still snoozing, little huffs of air puffing out the hair which had fallen over his face and he couldn’t resist stopping to give his brothers locks a quick ruffle before moving off to the bathroom with a smile on his face. If this experience had been good for anything it was the fact that Sam had finally seen him at his worst and he hadn’t walked out on him...not yet at least but Dean would cross that bridge when he came to it. For now it was nice just to know that when the chips were down Sam had come to his aid, lashing out against his father when Dean was too broken to do it himself. Dean would take that image to heart and keep it forever if he could, with a smile on his face.   
  
Once he was under the hot spray of the shower things started to feel much clearer and better, the way a hot shower always does to a fuzzy mind, and slowly but surely all his tense muscles started to ease off again. As he combed through the memories of the night before he found the strangest thing kept occurring to him...they weren’t hurting as much as they had once done. He could remember them all clear as day but now it was as if he were viewing them from someone else’s perspective, like he was merely an onlooker of the memory rather than the subject of them. It weirded him out a little but at the same time he couldn’t find it in himself to care, not when the weight he had been carrying on his shoulders since the age of four was suddenly gone and he felt lighter than he had done in years. Even his recent embarrassing kiddie act with Cas and Gabe couldn’t really taint the overwhelming peace he was feeling and there was nothing that was going to spoil this moment for him.   
  
_ “Deaaaannnnnnnn” _ Sam voice whined from beyond the door and the hunter sighed, thumping his head against the shower wall.   
  
_ Almost _ nothing could spoil this moment.   
  
  
\----------   
  
  
Once the brothers finally made it downstairs to breakfast, Gabriel was busying bustling between frying pans and cooking up an amazing smelling fry up for the family. Castiel was sitting at the table reading his paper and drinking his coffee, which Gabriel topped up as he passed on by carrying a stack of plates for the food. It was so corny and domestic that Dean couldn’t help the scoff that passed his lips, alerting the Angels - like they hadn’t already known he was there - to his presence. Castiel and Gabriel both looked up with a severe look on their faces, but their indignant frowns never reached their eyes, in fact Dean thought to himself that they were looking at them in a worried and calculating way, like they were afraid Dean was about to break down right in front of them. It kinda pissed him off that they thought he was so weak still, after everything he had just gone through.   
  
“What exactly are you scoffing at, young man?” Gabriel asked in a clipped voice, and both Sam and Dean flinched inwardly at the term.   
  
“Just Dean now, thanks Gabe, and nothing you two just look awful cute this way…” Dean joked, playing off the awkward moment with his usual couldn't-care-less attitude. He and Sam took their seats at the table and Dean gratefully accepted a mug of coffee from Gabriel, slurping it down with as much enthusiasm as possible while he watched Castiel frown out of the corner of his eye. It had to be weird for the Angel to watch him drinking an ‘adult’ drink when only yesterday he had been drinking juice and playing with his toys upstairs. Dean even tried his hardest to fight the gag which was rising in his throat at the bitter taste of the coffee but something in his face must have showed because Castiel got up quickly and made his way over to the fridge, retrieving a small bottle of kids fruit juice from the door and placing it down a few feet in front of Dean without a second look. The hunter froze as he looked at it, unsure of what to do. On the one hand he really wanted the sweet drink to wash away the taste of the bitter liquid burning his mouth, and he knew how cold and refreshing it would feel on his tongue and in his throat, but on the other hand he didn’t want to revert back to being a kid so soon when he had just managed to get his adult body back. A quick glance at Sam told him the younger hunter was having the same internal debate and it was boiling over fast, his instinct now screaming at him to grab the drink before Sammy could steal it away from him and ruin his chances of cleansing his mouth but when the kid looked up at him, wide eyed and confused, Dean snapped. He snatched up his plate and darted from the table, announcing loudly that he would take his breakfast in his bedroom and he’d ‘catch them all later’, leaving behind a stunned and hurt Castiel and a contemplating Gabriel. Sam, now free from the pressure of his brother, snatched up the juice and began gulping it down happily, smiling at Gabriel when the Archangel pulled it away from him gently with a reminded to drink it slowly. Sam had a tendency to get hiccups if he drank too fast.   
  
While Sam drank his juice and tucked into his breakfast, Gabriel shared a silent conversation with Castiel, and together they formed a plan to help Dean who was clearly not ready to admit that - despite all its drawbacks - he missed being their kid.   
  
  
\----------   
  
  
It was several weeks later, having now moved back into the bunker and left behind all the little comforts that living with Gabriel brought to the table, that Dean found himself behind his laptop -  _ Sam’s _ laptop, the kid had all the good stuff on here - desperately searching for a reason behind his feelings. There had been no nightmares since they had returned from dreamland, and all in all life had improved dramatically for the hunting duo but still...every now and then Dean got a pang in his heart and tummy when he thought back to living with Castiel and Gabriel. He knew in his heart that he missed it but he couldn’t figure out why, and even if he did admit to himself that it had felt good to be taken care of that didn’t make it right in his mind. There had to be some kind of psychological reason behind it, some kind of narrow neurological alleyway that Dean was currently stumbling down to explain why a grown ass man would want to drink from sippy cups and have another grown ass man - insert Angel - read him a bedtime story or sing him a lullaby. There simply had to be...right.   
  
It had all started really with those weird little advertisements which popped up on the sidebar of any webpage he happened to be browsing at the time, and all of them seemed to involve some kind of kiddie equipment. Kids bikes, toys, feeding sets with cute little plates and cutlery...Then came the ones which really got Dean’s attention. Something called Adult Baby Store. Dean brought up google so fast it would make your head spin, he had to know more and he needed to know yesterday.   
  
The first couple of web searches did not turn out very well, and resulted only in him drinking himself into a stupor to purge the images he found there -  _ why the hell would a adult wanna wear a diaper?! Why would another wanna change it?! That's the real question here! _ Finally though, Dean stumbled across a slightly tamer version of the same kind of thing, and slowly as he read through the article his own predicament seemed to come into clearer focus.   
  
_ “ _ **_Ageplay_ ** _ or  _ **_age play_ ** _ is a form of _ [ _roleplaying_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roleplay) _ in which an individual acts or treats another as if they were a different age, sexual or non-sexually. Ageplay is roleplaying between adults, and involves consent from all parties. Portraying any age can be the goal of ageplay, from babies, to the elderly. Usually this involves someone pretending to be younger than they actually are, but more rarely can involve assuming an older role.” _   
  
Dean also found a lot of help from an article called Ageplay: Truth and Myths which gave him a very good run down - and a very detailed description - of exactly what it was his mind was asking of him, although that didn’t help whatsoever with his internal freakout. The bottle of Jack at his side did that.   
  
Finally, after about a week of berating himself and trying so hard to work up the courage to approach the idea with Castiel - the only one out of his little family that he thought was less likely to laugh at him - he walked in on the strangest sight he had ever seen in his life. Sammy, clad head to fluffy toe in footie-pajamas, watching what was unmistakably Sleeping Beauty, curled up on the sofa with a teddy bear in his arms and Gabriel’s arms around his waist. The Archangel and the young hunter were completely engrossed in the movie, while Castiel was sitting in his armchair reading his book. None of them looked up as he walked in and stood stock still in the doorway too stunned to move.   
  
“Dean...why don’t you join us, Sammy was just watching a movie before bedtime.” Castiel asked without taking his eyes from his book, and Sam smiled up at Dean, the same innocent smile that Dean had enjoyed while they were both children for a time. Dean felt his feet propelling him forward of their own volition, and when he came to a halt before the sofa his eyes darted between the spare seat across from Castiel...or the spot between Castiel’s feet which looked far more appealing. Everything was silent while Dean contemplated his next move, but finally Castiel broke the tension. “You may sit wherever you please Dean, no one is going to mind one bit…” The Angel said, eyes still fixed on his book, though unmoving as though he were not really reading it. Sam and Gabriel were too busy giggling along to the antics of the three good fairies to notice Dean’s ‘little’ dilemma, but finally with a heavy sigh, Dean dropped down onto the floor between Cas’ thighs and leaned back against the sofa, resting his head against the Angel’s knee as he fixed his eyes on the screen. A small contented sigh from above him put him on edge but Cas’ hand came down and carded through his hair lightly, stroking until the tension left Dean’s body once again. “Good boy…”   
  
Once the movie was finally over - and Dean would never admit under threat of death to having actually enjoyed it - it was time for dinner, which Gabriel had apparently been slow cooking all day, although why on earth the Archangel thought that Spaghetti Bolognaise was a good choice of meal for two children, one would never know. Sammy ended up with it all over his face, in his hair and all over his hands, while Dean had chosen his clothes to take the fall out of the disastrous choice of cuisine. The pair were covered in it, and neither Angel nor Archangel had been spared their own splatterings, especially not when both boys decided to initiate a food fight, heartily egged on by Gabriel.   
  
“I really do not know what to do with you boys! You are both completely covered! Upstairs now, it is time for your bath!” Castiel snapped, pointing a finger out of the kitchen door towards the bathroom.   
  
“I don’t wanna have a bath!” Sammy whined but one stern look from Castiel was enough to send the boy running, with Gabriel hot on his heels. After dinner there was no way he was leaving Sammy alone in a room full of water, toys and bubble bath! That was just asking for trouble. Dean on the other hand had fallen silent and was picking slowly away at his dinner, avoiding Castiel’s gaze.   
  
“Dean...I know you are becoming anxious again, so please be honest with me and tell me what you are feeling?” Castiel asked, clearing away the dinner plates instead of looking directly at the boy, fearful of spooking him into backing down again. It had already taken them this long to get him to admit to himself what he wanted and now was not the time to be backtracking, though they would if Dean was really uncomfortable with their actions. It took the boy a few minutes to prepare himself to talk.   
  
“It’s just...will  _ you _ be bathing me or can I...like do I do it myself or whatever…” Dean asked, still pushing food around his plate even though he wasn’t eating anymore.   
  
“I suppose that is up to you, Dean. I would never do anything without your consent, consent is important in these kinds of arrangements. If anything we do or plan to do is uncomfortable for you then we will not do it but answer me this first...what is it about my bathing you which you find so...strange?” Castiel said, avoiding using the word scary because that would without a doubt set Dean off...Dean Winchester wasn’t  _ scared _ of anything.   
  
“I dunno, it’s just weird okay...I mean you're like gonna see my...thing.” Dean pouted, turning his red face away and completely missing the little grin that crossed the Angel’s face. It was clear the boy had already regressed quite far into his appropriate headspace to be calling his penis his ‘thing’ but there was no way the Angel was going to point it out. The kid was just too cute like this.   
  
“I have seen your penis before Dean.” Castiel said, smiling when the boy turned to look at him, shocked and red in the face. “Have you forgotten that I rebuilt you atom by atom once before? I have seen every inch of you Dean, and it is nothing I find shameful to look at. You are a beautiful human being, and while we are in this space you are my child. I would find nothing strange in washing my baby, and my baby should not feel strange having their Daddy wash them. It’s a trusting act, and one I would perform with the greatest of love, attention and care. Nothing would make me happier than to see you clean Dean...especially right now, baby boy, because you are a mess!” Castiel joked, eyeing Dean up and down as the boy giggled and looked down again. “So how about we go and run you a nice bath. I am sure Sammy is already filling the tub with as many toys as he can possible fit in and knowing Gabriel that will be a significant amount of toys. And bubbles...we mustn’t forget the bubbles!” The Angel approached Dean with a smile and held out his hand, squeezing it gently when his boy took it.   
  
“Whatever you say...Daddy?” Dean said tentatively as Castiel pulled him to his feet and lead him out the door.   
  
“Let’s get you washed up before bed...Baby.” And the two disappeared down the hallway towards the sounds of mayhem coming from beyond the bathroom door. It was going to be another long night.   
  
  
\----------   
  
  
Bathtime was an unmitigated disaster, though slightly less so than dinner had been because at least the Angels - though wet and in need of a good wing grooming later which they would get to the second the bra... _ boys _ were in bed! - at least they were no longer covered in spaghetti sauce. Dean had taken it upon himself to be the ‘Captain’ of the SS Winchester and Sammy was his First Mate. Gabriel was of course the honorable Navigator and Castiel was, as Dean affectionately named him the ‘Cabana Boy’. Gabriel had almost bust a gut laughing at the look on Castiel’s face at his title, and Dean had to duck to avoid a large amount of bubbles being thrown at his head by the Angel’s. This of course descended into madness, quickly becoming a full on splash fight which the boys won easily when Sammy took advantage of their one weakness and splashed water all over their backs, effectively soaking their wings and rendering them like drenched kittens, shuddering and shaking to remove the water from their feathers. It was the funniest sight the boys had ever seen. Both Angels had to bring their wings into view to try and dry them off, and after Dean made a joke about dogs shaking their fur dry it was most definitely time for bed.   
  
If the Angels thought that wrangling a young Sam and Dean into their PJs was hard this was nothing compared to doing it with full grown adults who wanted nothing more than to jump on the beds and switch rooms so they could tease the tired out pair into a frenzy. Every time one of them requested a drink the other would ask for the same and when their backs were turned, they’d switch rooms just to be difficult, until finally Gabriel snapped his fingers and worked his already worn down grace to rearrange their room so they were bunked in together, getting them settled down for the night.   
  
Sam requested Gabriel tell them a story, and the Archangel said he knew the perfect one about two big strong hunters who saved the world from monsters, and their Angelic sidekicks who kicked ass and were so strong nothing could touch the brothers while they were watching over them. The boys giggled, and gasped all the way through as Gabriel replayed their whole lives to them in shortened storybook segments but finally it was time for lights out, and both boys curled up with their teddy’s - Sam with his Dolphin and Dean with his Bee - but as Castiel went to shut off the light a small voice from the bed stopped him.   
  
“Cas...will we ever be big again?” Dean asked in a timid voice so full of sadness that the Angel couldn’t help but walk back to him and sit on the bed beside him.   
  
“Of course you will, Baby, you can be big again whenever you feel ready, and when you are big you can be small again if you ever feel like you need to be...I’ll always be here to watch over you, if you need me.” Castiel promised and Dean sighed happily, reaching out one hand to take the Angel’s.   
  
“That’s good. I like being big...when I am big I feel different than when I am small.” Dean said, half asleep now and fading fast.   
  
“How so?” Castiel asked, curious as to what feelings the hunter had which were too much for his little mind to deal with in this state.   
  
“Well, when I am big I love you in a totally different way. Like when I am small I love you, but when I am big I big love you. You know that big love you feel for someone when you are not little anymore…” Dean explained with all the sense of a child and Castiel felt his heart beating hard in his chest. Was Dean really saying what he thought he was saying? “Hey Cas...when I get big again...would you be my boyfriend?” Dean asked, hiding his face a little behind his bee as Castiel grinned in the semi-darkness.   
  
“I would be most honored to be your boyfriend, Dean.” The Angel answered, trying hard to ignore the explosions of Gabriel’s grace against his own as the Archangel did a metaphysical happy dance inside his head. “I’ll even let you take me out on a date if you wish…” Dean beamed at him through heavy lidded eyes and yawned, stretching out before curling up again.   
  
“It’ll be the best date ever Cas...Gonna make you so happy.” Dean promised, slipping deeper into his slumber.   
  
“You always make me happy, Dean, just being you is enough. I love you, baby…” Cas said, leaning in to place a kiss on Dean’s forehead.   
  
“Big love  _ and _ little love?” Dean asked and Cas chuckled.   
  
“Big love  _ and _ little love...forever.”


End file.
